Something that I’ve noticed more and more is that guys who’s number one focus is “getting girls” have the absolute least amount of business “getting girls” and have a shit ton of other things that are far far higher on the priority list that they should be working on. I’ll give you an analogy and then a real example.
The analogy would be say you had a truck where the engine was failing, the tires were all flat, and the brake lines cut and when you went to the mechanic you said “Hey, how can I get my windshield wipers to work?” the mechanic would look at you like you were an insane person. They would look at you like you were an insane person because of how out of whack your priorities were.
Now for the real example. Let’s say we have a guy, we’ll call him Douglas. Douglas is out and shape and nerdy. He’s never been in a fight, lives in a shitty apartment working a dead end job where he deals with assholes all day and spends his time binging on netflix, porn, and video games. Obviously Douglas has trouble bringing a woman/women into his life. So he looks up answers to this.
The “Game” Trap
He starts reading the red pill websites and starts to get a better understanding of women. Now with this understanding he thinks “Hah now I’ll have more chicks then I’ll ever know what to do with!” so he goes out and then in surprised when things don’t pan out as he had anticipated. He thinks “Hmm maybe I just need to up my game, that’ll do it” so he reads more stuff and tries different “tactics” and what not and yet is met with little to no success.
He starts wondering and then starts becoming frantic doing weird things like keeping track of how many women he’s approached, making spreadsheets, and having a bunch of openers he uses. All the while nothing seems to work. Then he reaches out to a former “red pill” blogger who tells him this.
“Douglas, what the hell man, you’re making this 100 million times harder than it has to be! Drop the PUA/red pill nonsense and instead focus on just getting shit together and living the life that you want to live. You should try this fad that was popular back in the day called Actually Being An Attractive Man Who Enjoys His Life (TM). You know do things like have actual interests that aren’t just ways to appear cool because some lame PUA nerd told you to have them. Work out, read books, dress nice, take care of yourself, smile, make eye contact with, and interact with women you find attractive (you know like you’re human or something). And so on and so forth.”
At first incensed by gradually understanding the wise words of the former red pill blogger (Who’s books you should totally buy) Douglas sets out to become this patented Actually Being An Attractive Man Who Enjoys His Life (TM). ‘It’s weird” thinks Douglas, this program didn’t even cost him 3 easy payments of 99.99 and yet he was having spectacular results with it.
Actually Being An Attractive Man Who Enjoys His Life (TM)
Douglas started having hobbies. He had always liked to paint so took up a local art class as well as bought some books on painting. He set up a studio in his home and started painting in his spare time. He went to the gym but didn’t like it, but did find that he liked hiking and so hikes every other day for exercise along with some key body weight exercises. He found the healthier he got the more he enjoyed his work and connected with the people around him. He began taking an interest in what he wore and dressed to communicate who he is as a man.
He noticed he smiled and laughed a lot more and that with his new confidence and that naturally suddenly women seemed to be popping out of the woodwork to be around and talk to him. He went on a couple dates with a girl from his art class, some more dates with a girl from his hiking club, and then another girl who he met at the mall when looking for a new pair of hiking boots. He has been focusing on his art more and more and before he knew it he had a small following of groupies following him around. Long ago Douglas found he didn’t need porn or much of that other stuff that used to numb him to the state he was in.
And all he does is do the things that make him happy and healthy. He’s in a much better place than he was before and doesn’t need sex with women to validate himself because he loves his life. And ironically this has been attracting more women (and of much higher quality) into his life than he even knows what to do with anymore. He thinks “Man I ought to write a testimonial for that Actually Being An Attractive Man Who Enjoys His Life (TM) program right away!”.
A Parody?…Or Not?
So at first this may seem like a parody but it’s really not that far off the mark. And this isn’t to say that the red pill doesn’t have anything good to contribute to understanding gender dynamics it’s just that so many guys get so caught up in the “get girls” stuff that they end up handicapping themselves not only in that realm but in others as well.
In reality “getting girls” is something that should be natural and effortless for the most part. Not something that you have to think about that much (and certainly not something you have to make spreadsheets about!). Stop worrying about “approaching” about numbers or about any of that weird nerdy PUA B.S. and just think about living life and being happy. That’ll naturally attract more and better women than any of that other crap.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
