Ideally I think most of us either want a harem with many wives and more importantly many sons or a single girl who’s worth a damn and will make a good mother and wife. A good portion of my writings are just about this topic, how to become an attractive man to have the relations that you want with women. Despite feminist and MGTOW whinings men and women were created for one another and function best when each other in the others life in some way, shape, of form. Sure there are some exception but overall this still holds true.
Like all things in life being an attractive man requires a balancing act of sorts. Comfort and care plays a role just like raw animal attraction does. Even for a guy if he senses something is off with a girl even if she is beautiful he may wisely withdraw, even from a one night stand. While when writing about attraction most ink is spilt on “how to be more alpha” which society as a whole is in desperate need of. However there is a comfort side to attraction as well , I don’t like to call this “beta” because that has the wrong connotation but there is a “soft side” to attraction.
Can You Be “Too Alpha”?
I don’t think being “too alpha” is the problem so much as there not being a balance of any sort. As I was talking about above you have to absolutely have the “steel” traits of alphaness and they are by far the most important but you must have at least a little bit of the “velvet” traits of care and comfort. And this isn’t just for long term relationships but even for one night stands. I’ve lost chances with girls before because I was too cocky/arrogant/too much of an asshole. Not that I really gave a shit and I was very young but the point remains. And for something more than a one night stand this matters even more, especially if the girl was raised halfway decent (a rarity).
My point isn’t to get weaker. Just to not be afraid to express a human side to you. You shouldn’t be soft by any means but be a balanced and complete person. Again the average person needs to harden up and “up the alpha” but for those of us who are more developed it’s a little bit more complicated than that. You can’t be obsessed with being “beta” as so many are. Isn’t that in and of itself “beta”? For example if a man tells his wife he loves her is that beta? Is that going to make her run off? Unless she’s severely damaged (in which case the relationship was done for anyways) the answer is a resounding no.
Now if a guy tells his wife he loves her, truly does, and cares for her yet has no strength or masculinity to him then that’s going to be a problem. But it’s not a problem because he cares about her it’s a problem because he’s not strong and masculine etc. Again it’s okay and right to be human. Never show weakness to your enemies and don’t spill your weakness all over your wife or any woman but at the same time it’s okay to be human. Here’s a helpful analogy and kind of where I was heading with all of this.
The 80/20 Rule
We all know and overuse (especially me) the 80/20 rule. It has many applications and is a very useful thing to look at and know. And here’s where it comes in handy with being an attractive man. In general you have men divided up into two “categories”.
dad and cads
teddy bears and vibrators
betas and alphas
virgin and chad
nice guy and ass holes/jerks
comfort and attraction
You want to be around 20% “nice guy” and 80% exciting guy (at least to start then gauge up or down depending on what you want). The reason I say this is because most guys are far too to the comfort side at least now-a-days, maybe it was different before. You don’t want to be the terminator devoid of emotions and humanity (even for one night stands) but most males lean more towards the gay best friend and are in some desperate need of an edge to them.
Comfort is a part of attraction (hence why I put so much emphasis on making eye contact and smiling) though without the visceral attraction it’s pretty much useless. Again unless you want a bunch of girl friends who talk to you like a gay best friend. So you can “be nice” as long as that’s built on the foundation of being masculine, strong, etc.
The whole never smile, always be an asshole stuff might work for a very weak guy when he’s first starting out (and has a very low value) but needs to change as he gets a better sense of himself, develops himself into a higher value man, and start to gain confidence in himself. Otherwise it’ll be too much and it’ll backfire on him.
Always Adjust & See What Works For You
So I get the whole be more of an “asshole” type stuff and it works like a charm for many guys who are struggling, especially when first starting out. But eventually especially as your value grows as a man there has to be another side to this. A balance (not necessarily 50/50 but whatever is most comfortable for you and works best for you).
There really is no one size fits all approach to anything in life. Once you understand the basics then it’s up to you to develop your own unique style and way of doing things. For some guys that’s going to be upping the comfort a little more than usual (especially if they’re high value guys and depending on the girl). This doesn’t mean start handing out roses at a Vegas pool party but you get the general idea.
Again that visceral attraction comes first, that’s the meat of the cake. But then the comfort is the icing (and who doesn’t like a little icing?). So don’t get too caught up in formulas or thinking that things have to be one way. There are a lot of nuances to anything that you’ll pick up as you go along.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
