So lately I’ve been doing all kinds of research on brain chemistry, neurons, and especially neurotransmitters like dopamine and how they all fit together with one’s overall health and wellbeing. I talk a lot about getting the mind, body, and spirit right and one aspect of having full wellbeing is having a brain that is functioning properly, which means a brain that is free of things like porn and the like.
Obviously doing this research I’ve run across a lot of NoFap guys and their experiences. And while overall (key word being overall) I think that they go in the right direction and have the right “heart” or intentions there are defininetly some problems that I see with how NoFap is handled as a whole and I see a lot of guys that are going to struggle.
Since I’ve talked with a lot of guys doing NoFap and know that quite a few of my readers do this anyways (and I always recommend no porn or masturbation) so I figured I’d address things that I think are great about the movement and things that I think those doing NoFap should learn to get the most out of the “experience” and more importantly for it to transfer to a healthier life. So let’s get started.
The Wrong Focus & NoFap
So no I’m not going to sit here and say that porn and masturbation are good or are things that you should have in your life. That’s not true and they don’t do anyone any favors. Sure some are more likely to be addicted by a bad habit is a bad habit and steals your time and harms you somewhat no matter what. What I say by the wrong focus is with many NoFappers it seems like the NoFap is their entire life and they don’t focus on anything else.
Now I see a problem with this because a lot of guys just try not to fap and end up just holding on for dear life and eventually end up fapping again. A more healthy NoFap would be to understand what porn and masturbation does and then work to brings one’s brain and life into balance. For example if you start NoFap but spend your time working a sedentary job you hate, going home eating junk food, watching TV, playing video games, and scrolling social media not only will NoFap not have a huge impact on you (or at least as much as it could) but it’ll be so so so so so (did I mention so?) much harder for you.
One critical thing to understand when doing NoFap is that EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED your mind, body, and spirit. NoFap should be catalyst for a life change not a test of willpower (that doesn’t go well). Submerge yourself in an ice bath if you want that. So when you do NoFap it should be about balancing your entire life (this will also of course make NoFap that much “easier”). When you do things like work out, meditate, read, socialize, get into nature, eat good food, get good sleep, take cold showers, and so on and so forth.
Why NoFappers Fail
Well the biggest reason is what I just talked about. Seeing NoFap as a isolated thing and not part of a larger whole. Your mind is not separate from your body. The more you eat healthy, work out, socialize, and do all of those other things the quicker your brain is going to heal. For example when I see guys that say they flatlined for 2 years I can’t help but think that something is very wrong there.
Granted that’s 1% of guys but that sends fears through the entire rest of the community. And here’s the thing if guys on hardcore drugs can rebalance their brain within 90 days then I’m sorry but porn users for the most part should be able to do the same thing. And the healthier you are the quicker this process will be. Not to say you should ever “test” yourself or anything like that (that’s incredibly foolish) just that everything is connected and of course I am not a doctor.
When you try to take one thing out and isolate it you’re not doing yourself any favors. A guy who has a good social life, a girlfriend, works out, eats right, gets good sleep, meditates, creates art, spends time outdoors, takes cold showers, and read books is going to have a completely 100% recovery experience (and time it takes) then a guy who like the example above works a job he hates then comes home and eats crap, plays video games, watches TV, and mindlessly searched the internet and social media. If researchers studied both they’d look like different species with what the end result looked like.
Now obviously the first guy likely wouldn’t have gotten into porn in the first place (though there are exceptions) but I hope you can see the general thing I’m getting at here.
NoFap & The Good Life
All in all I like what NoFap is doing even if it can be limited and self-defeating at times. But with a few adjustments I think it can be the great start to a whole new life and overall is a community for good. Remember its about healing your mind, body, and spirit and in particular with NoFap re-balancing your brain (which is about more than just No PMO (porn, masturbation, and orgasm) but that’s a great start.
You can’t just cut out a bad habit you also have to replace it with good habits. You can’t just have something you’re working against you have to have something that you’re working towards as well. I also disagree with the whole you lived clean and healthy for 30 days or whatever then had a 2 hour relapse now you’re back to square one, that’s just not how the brain works. Yeah relapses suck and should be avoided but don’t get overdramatic that doesn’t help the end result.
If you were obese spent a month eating clean then had a giant pizza one day yeah that’d be bad especially because of how your dopamine is wired but you would not be back to square one. This isn’t an excuse to relapse of course but just a fact. Progress is progress. Every day counts, don’t forget this. And also add in plenty of good activities to pass those days by.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
