I get a lot of emails but the thing that I get emailed about the most is guys looking to get laid or be more attractive to women or problems that they’re having with one girl in particular. Sometimes these are quick fixes and other times they’re not. However over time working in this “genre” as well as seeing how the market as a whole works I’ve noticed a couple of patterns being repeated that others take advantage of but I thought I’d write about here.
So the first thing to understand that women, no matter in what shape or form. Whether a devoted and loving wife or a harem of girls for fun, don’t occupy the central stage in a man’s life. Even Casanova had pursuits beyond women that made him interesting and attractive in the first place. One issue that I see a lot of guys run into is making women/a woman their number one priority and then failing to find success in that area.
It’s a bit ironic but it’s the truth. The more one focuses exclusively on women/a woman the less likely they are to be “successful” in that are. Success being having a happy healthy relationship or having fun with the women that are wanted to have fun with. Women/a woman are a byproduct of becoming a man who has it together and lives his mission first and foremost.
Don’t Focus On “Getting Girls” Even (Or Especially) If You Have None
A couple other trends I’ve noticed with this whole thing. One is guys going from virgin never had a girlfriend to having a rotating harem of 12 super models at once. What’s wrong with having a girlfriend and having that need met and then working on other things? Why do so many think that they have to be the King David to be satisfied here? It really doesn’t take that much are more often than not the harem thing isn’t really worth it.
Sure it’s an ego boost but eventually you sit down look at the time invested and the ROI and think “Really don’t think this is worth the upkeep.” but it goes beyond that as well. Something else I’ve noticed is that most guys who’s number one focus is “getting girls” and usually guys who have the least business focusing on that. At first I thought all that was needed was pointing out how inefficient this is and that’d be that but there’s more here.
What I noticed is that many guys focus on “getting girls” as a way to avoid doing the hard work that they really need to do for themselves. Now granted “getting girls” can open the way to self-improvement and self-development but for many of these guys “getting girls” is actually a way to avoid having to do any of that and hide behind something. Let me explain what I mean by this.
Hiding From The Truth
Many guys will strike out endlessly in clubs or on the street and just focus on talking to more and more girls as a way to avoid having to sit down look themselves in the mirror and see what they really need to work on in their lives (which would ironically make them more successful with women but that’s another topic). Instead they double down on doing what they’re doing that way avoiding having to do the hard work they know they need to.
In a weird way it’s easier to go out, keep getting rejected, and stick with the plan (that says nothing of hard work, aside from approaching) as opposed to getting in shape, getting one’s shit together, finding a mission and working towards it, and so on and so forth. Stuff that requires sitting down, looking at often uncomfortable truths, and then proceeding to do the hard work on oneself that is needed.
It’s easier to get stuck in the endless cycle of approaching and so on and so forth, avoiding the true self-development that’d make the whole thing so much easier and even more importantly actually move your life in the direction that you want it to go. Most guys shouldn’t focus on “getting girls” and all of the nonsense that is usually associated with it. Instead they should focus on doing the actual work on themselves that would not only attract women but get them a whole lot more in life.
Avoidance Measures
Don’t let “getting girls” be an avoidance measure you use to doing the real work that you need to do on yourself. It’s not going to be easy but it is going to be worth it. Things that are easy and things that are worth it seldom go hand in hand with each other. Only you will know if this is something that you’re doing but I’d encourage you take a good long look in the mirror and see if any of this doesn’t hold true for you. And if it does then to do something about it.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
