So there is so much that gets miscommunicated when it comes to attraction, especially considering how different people can be. There are concepts out there that not only can be miscommunicated but can be outright dangerous in the wrongs hands (or more accurately minds). I’ve done my best to always recommend when it comes to women working on yourself first and foremost and doing more of the “build it and let them come” route.
As opposed to the much more popular “pester until one says yes or you get thrown in jail” brand of advice that gets peddled often. But with all of that being said you as the man are still generally going to have to make the first move and therefore “build it and let them come” may be somewhat of a misnomer. However the general principle still applies.
Also I don’t like the word “pick up” I would put “talk to” but that might be taken too literally and I don’t want guys refusing to give the waitress their order because of miscommunication on my part. What I’m getting at here is the dating and mating game/dance/whatever you want to call it has a lot of what we call nuances to it. And nuances are something that those who are struggling for success with women seldom grasp.
The Crucial Difference
For example look at the concept of last minute resistance. One that makes sense logically but can be dangeorusly misinterpreted and putting guys who have no idea what they’re doing into dangerous situations (not to mention the girl as well). Last minute resistance essentially means when you take a girl home from a club and she’s still not 100% of sleeping with you to “warm her up” to it.
On one hand if this idea means not ripping off her clothes the instant you walk in the door (unless of course that’s wanted) then yeah it holds water. If it means wearing down a girl who doesn’t really want to sleep with you well then it’s a bit different then isn’t it? One makes total sense the other gets you put in prison. A crucial difference but one that no everyone understands. For me personally if you get “last minute resistance” then the girl probably isn’t that into you and you should go find another.
But again that depends on how one interprets last minute resistance (LMR from here on out) does the fact the girl doesn’t rip you’re pants off and say “Take me you studly stud.” mean she’s not into you? Of course not. Some girls are shy, some are not, and a million things inbetween. A guy have to have good social skills and understand social nuances to know what the girl wants (unless he doesn’t mind a record).
And most guys who get into “pickup” and there precisely because they don’t have good social skills (bit of a cart before horse deal there). They don’t know the difference between a girl teasing, a girl playing, and a girl being serious and this is cause for concern on many levels. These guys shouldn’t be focusing on spam approaching girls freaking them out (spam approach should actually never be a focus) but rather on building the social skills that will enable them to connect with women in the first place.
Things That Cause Social Retardation
There are other things that go hand in hand with this. Now there are obvious mental disorders (many coming from diet) that hamper social interactions and these men should not be getting into “pickup” especially (though the way commonly taught kind of a waste of time for all men). But it goes beyond that. Not to sound old fashioned (though they had their points at times) but I think a lot can be said (as far as lack of social skills go) for video games but even more porn and masturbation.
Porn helps to make you socially retarded. Guys who watch a lot of porn and/or masturbate a lot are guys who very obviously don’t have a lot of success with women. And this is no coincidence. Drop the porn and drop the masturbation and it’s amazing how many of guys problems clear up. Especially in regards to the social realm.
Also (and I’ve made this mistake, perhaps more than others) those that write about such matters (attraction and the like) often assume that those reading the articles have good social skills. However if this was the case then many of the articles (as well as books and courses) would not be needed in the first place, leading to more confusion and more problems.
This Before All Else
Before one looks at any of the other attraction advice make sure that your social skills and social reads are on point. Make sure that you understand the difference between “yes” and “no” between disinterest and interest. The social nuances that make the crucial differences. Social skills are required for this and if you don’t have social skills then focus on simple interactions before you go trying to “pick up” women (which is generally a waste of time anyways).
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
