Alright so obviously there are many different aspects that go into having a successful marriage, the chief being who you pick to marry. And even then there is no single one thing that automatically determines if a marriage is going to work out and be worth it or not. There are things like personality types, some just don’t match up. There is also physical attraction, without this marriage is going to either be a long miserable road or simply not work.
And a whole host of other factors. However there is something that underlies all of these and without this thing none of the others are going to matter. It’s the foundation upon which everything else rests. Like a foundation it isn’t the end all be all, but it the first critical factor that without the building just isn’t going to stand and the marriage just isn’t going to work, most likely.
You’ll find all sorts of lists out there on what makes a good wife and what doesn’t and they have a lot of truth to them. However often too many males get caught up in small factors that they weigh just as greatly as the much bigger factors. Not to mention that those who hate marriage and don’t believe a healthy one is possible are not the best choices for advice on getting married.
It’s Beyond Being “Alpha”
Awhile ago I wrote a post “The Number One Rule That When Violated Destroys Marriages” feel free to read it for the in depth discussion but the gist is this. It’s about a lot more than being alpha. Who you select as a wife plays a bigger role in how the marriage ends up. But it is a bit of a catch-22 since in order to attract a woman worth marrying you have to have “alpha” traits (be developed in your manhood).
The same could be said about one night stands as well. Once you have your bases covered and are developed in some manner it’s more about screening and selecting the right girl for what you want than it is about working on yourself more. For example some girls at the bar just will not go home with you no matter what, just a fact. Likewise some women will never make good wives no matter what, just a fact.
And there’s nothing you can do to change that. Being more “alpha” doesn’t matter. At that point it has nothing to do with you, at least not personally. Obviously you do have the ability to screen and choose, which is a neglected part of the dating and mating game that so many ignore or don’t address. But that’s a topic for another time.
The Most Important Factor For A Long Term Mate
She could be the most beautiful woman that you’ve ever seen. She could have all the same political and philosophical views that you have. She could have a low notch count. She could have a great relationship with her father and a healthy view of men. And still not have the most important trait for making a good long term wife, though she would be trending towards it. No, none of these particular things are the most important factor (though they’re partly representative of it).
No to find the most important factor to look for in a woman for a long term prospect we have to look to ancient wisdom, in particular “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” the most important factor in determining whether a woman would make a good prospect for a wife is determining is she has character or not. And this is a very rare thing to find.
Character is rarer (and more valuable) than riches. It is rarer and more valuable than a woman being a 10 out of 10. It is rarer and more valuable than a woman being anything else that there is in and of itself. Like I said obviously there are other factors that go into this, but character is the bedrock upon which all else rests. Character, because of human nature, has always been and always will be as rare as it is valuable.
Finding & Attracting A Woman Of Character
I know most will be screaming AWALT at this point while slamming their heads against their keyboards repeatedly. But it’s important to understand while all women share the same basic nature (as do males) that does not mean that they are all the same and act the same in all situations. Their character is not the same. Spend more than 10 minutes off the internet and away from dorky ideologies and this becomes very clear.
But with that being said, you can be some dork going his own way with nothing to offer and expect to attract a good wife. I’m not sure why anyone thinks this? Good wives have never been something that have not had to be worked for. Like anything good in this life it’ll only come through hard work and not entirely luck. First off like talked about before you have to have your bases covered.
You can be some dork, you have to have things to offer. And then you have to go to the right places to find women with character. Nowhere is a guarantee of course but church is going to be a better bet (percentage wise) than a bar, just saying.
Marry For The Right Things
This is already running long but I had a few other things I wanted to mention. It’s a bit curious that so many on this side of the internet bash on marriage…and yet are married and refuse to divorce and enjoy their lives. A bit of irony there. What I’m getting at is while there are certainly risks to marriage and one must go in with their eyes wide open (there are also risk to not getting married) that it can absolutely be the right choice.
And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. However it has to be done right and it’ll only work with the right woman. If you rush out and do it like most guys than yeah you’ll fail and probably fail spectacularly and their are woman who it’d literally be better to dive off a cliff than it would be to marry. But then depending on who you are there are also women out there who could add to your life immeasurably. So be smart and decide for yourself.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
