Alright so not the best title but here’s essentially what I’m getting at. At what point of your life should each of the three things listed above be the most important thing to you? I get asked some variation of the question above quite a bit so I thought I’d go ahead and detail some answers to it as well as give some advice that runs counter to the mainstream.
So as a normal guy money, women, and success (a tricky term we’ll get to later) are going to all play a part in your life. Now we have some extremes of course. Maybe you’re a guy who wants a wife or maybe even wants to be a monk so women is going to be a little different for you. Or maybe you’re a guy who wants to travel around the country in a van and has no inclination to make anything more than what is absolutely necessary to support oneself. So the money is going to be different for you.
But nevertheless all of these things are to one degree or another a part of your life and we’re going to dissect them here. Like I said everyone is different so not everything I lay out is going to be directly applicable to you but if you take the general principles and apply them you’ll find more success than you otherwise would have. Alright let’s get started.
But First A Word About Success
Well alright maybe not quite yet, there is one quick thing that we have to do and that is define success. Success to you is going to be different than what success is to me which is going to be different for what success is for another person. Likewise what we think is success may turn out to be something we never wanted in the first place, and therefore our definition of success may shift and change.
And because of all of this, defining success is a tricky tricky thing. So for the sake of simplicity (and sanity) we’ll define success and achieving the life that you want or maybe not achieving but moving towards the life that you want (even if it turns out that’s not the life you end up wanting, but that’s a topic for another time). So while that’s not a very specific definition and is something that you’ll be working on all the time in one way or another that’s what we’ll use for now.
Part of it will be general self-improvement, part of it will be “career” related, and part of it will have to do with your relationships. So again when we talk about success we’re talking about big picture stuff and it’s going to mean different things to different people and regardless of what you’re focusing on at any given time it’ll always at least be in the back ground.
Now with that out of the way…
Money In 20’s, Girls In 30’s?
Alright so we’ve covered success (well sort of) we can now get to girls. The common manosphere advice is that you should focus on making money is your 20’s and then can focus on girls in your 30’s and unlike most manosphere advice this actually isn’t that stupid. Granted that you’re okay with a couple of different things. First off you have to decide that this is what you want. If you’re someone who wants a family this could change things.
This isn’t to say that you can’t have a family in your 40’s/late 30’s (or even 50’s) but it’s just that are you going to spend a decade grinding and then a decade (or so) sleeping around only to find out that it really wasn’t worth all of that and that you’d rather be doing something else. Let’s not pretend like these things don’t take their toll on a man (even just if in time, which is our most valuable resource).
So for many this might not be a bad plan…or it could be horrible. Drudging your entire 20’s “stacking that cash” may not be the best use of your time, likewise then spending all that time making money only to spend your 30’s banging randoms probably isn’t the best use of your time either. Sure if you’re a wannabe Dan Blizerian then go for it. But you might find that the juice isn’t worth the squeeze in more than one way.
By the way I’m not saying that this isn’t an option. For a good number of guys this is the best way to go. Plenty of guys choose the wrong girl to marry and end up in hot water because of it and then are playing catch up to go down this road anyways. But then there are guys for who this road just is never going to add up or give them what they want and dedicating 10-15 or so years to figuring that out is a very steep price to pay.
What To Look For In Part 2
Personally I actually don’t think that your 30’s is the best time to focus on girls (while maintaining the freedom for other options) though like I said above that is a workable plan, granted that it’s what you want. But you better make sure that it’s what you want. For example I know many are convinced that marriage and family are unworkable options. Part of this is manosphere brainwashing (same as any cult) and part of it is because of true to life sociological and cultural factors.
No one said it’d be easy but for some it’s what’s wanted and therefore a different path will have to be taken. But there is a way to “have your cake and eat it too” that I’m going to talk about in the next segment. An option that might not be available to everyone but still will help you go in the right direction. And then we’ll talk about when to put success in your life and how to tie all of this together in the “best way possible”. Stay tuned.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
