I’ve talked before about how often you have to give people what they want before you can get them to listen to you about what they need. For example for guys their primary concerns are about making money, having more dates/sex, and looking ripped along with a few others things. However, with the exception of perhaps money, these things really aren’t going to make the difference that these men think they will in their lives.
What I mean is many males feel that if they were just having sex with attractive women and looked good on the beach then they’d feel fulfilled, they’d be where they want to be in life. Or they feel if they just made more money everything would be good. However that’s not really the case. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that these things don’t make a difference because they certainly do.
However they’re not the end all be all that most males make them out to be. There comes a certain point where making more money isn’t going to change things, when having more dates or sex isn’t going to change things, when getting in better shape isn’t going to change things. All of this has to do with the title above so stay with me as we have to go about this in a sort of sideways manner to truly understand it.
Self-Help, The Manosphere, The Entrepreneusphere, PUA, & Other Pied Pipers
Alright so I don’t have issue necessarily with self-help or the manopshere in and of themselves both can be good at different points in ones life, same with the whole entrepreneursphere. However at the same time these things can mislead and even hurt men who are seeking happiness and true health on a physical, spiritual, and mental level. These things are all businesses or ideologies and therefore reference everything back to themselves.
PUA is the worst and the one that I don’t think has much of any redeeming value, except maybe the lengths businessmen will go to keep a company afloat. Most guys who are into PUA do not need PUA. PUA is an ineffective way to get girls and thats by design. If PUAs taught how to actually attract women their business model would dry up overnight. So instead many have to overcomplicate things and make them ineffective to keep the cash rolling in.
And most guys who get involved in PUA don’t need help with women necessarily (though a few healthy pointers might help) rather they need mental and life help. Same with the manosphere, self-help, and the rest. These things claim they are the answer to what the male needs but in reality they are often misleading or cheap alternatives to what the male needs.
They can be useful tools but make horrible masters but another way.
Barking Up The Wrong Tree
So many guys get stuck in ruts doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results, the definition of insanity. Their ideology or business they’re involved with keeps telling them just need to do more of X. X being something that benefits the ideology or business not necessarily the person. So they just need to “hustle more” or “ask for more numbers” or “stop buying into the gynocentric order” or whatever.
These things may or may not be helpful but they’re not what males need. A males need and true improvement comes outside an ideology or business. You have to take an honest look at yourself and think about what you need. I’ll tell you something right now, and I’m no exception, if you’ve ever been involved in the manosphere or PUA then mental health is definitely something you’ll want to look into.
Here’s some resources to get you started.
Often if you’re not getting anywhere its because your barking up the wrong tree, put another way your focusing on the wrong things. You should be focusing on your health and wellbeing mentally, physically, and spiritually first and foremost. I’m not saying there aren’t times when you’ll have to grind it out but remember that you only have one go around with this life and should make the most of it.
Finding True Help
Is going to be from a variety of things. No one ideology, religion, business, or whatever is going to be enough. Life is too varied and complex for that. Take what is useful from each but don’t think that’s all there is. Do what is best for yourself and your wellbeing. Take stock of what is working for you and leading to a healthy positive life and what is not. You have to put your health first and that’s health in the physical, mental, and spiritual sense.
The closer you can get to the primal/cosmic order generally the better you’ll feel. Get some fresh air, read a good book, find a community, find positive uplifting people, get in nature, feel the sun on your face and wind in your hair. Don’t get caught up in the rat race of any form or version, and it morphs every day. Keep searching and you’ll find what you’re looking for. It just might not be where you first expected.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.
-Charles Sledge
