There are different levels to development as a man. There are what I’d call the primal needs of man and then there are the higher needs of man. However don’t think because one is higher and one is lower that the lower aren’t important. The lower are the foundation upon which the higher is based. Sort of like that old saying, you can’t be a gentleman unless you’re first a man.
The barbarian virtues come before the civilized virtues and so on and so forth, something we’ll discuss later. But these primal needs of man are those that most males spend their entire lives focusing on and never get beyond. Those needs are women, money, and respect. Right now we’re going to address the first need.
That of women. The dating and mating game. A woman/women can add much goodness and pleasure to a man’s life or they can destroy it. To sit here and say that women or the desire for women doesn’t play a big role in a man’s life is just foolish and not at all in line with how man was designed.
So let’s talk more about this.
The Proper Relation Between The Sexes
There has been much written on the whole dating and mating game. What traits the other sexes find attractive and the right behaviors to adopt and live out to attract the opposite sex. I’ve written much on this topic as have many others. These parts here are not meant to be comprehensive but rather meant to give you a broad overview a proper foundation from which to work from.
And it all starts with one concept. And that concept is that you should never make a woman/women the number one thing in your life. A woman/women should never come first in your life. Things just don’t work out when you make a woman/women the center of your universe. You must focus on yourself and your mission in life, first and foremost.
This doesn’t mean you need to be cruel, heartless, or callous by any means. You can be loving and a whole lot of other things. You just can’t put a woman/women first in your life. That means you can’t put first in your life focusing on dating, sleeping with, or marrying a certain girl nor can you put sleeping with many women first.
Being attractive to women and either dating high quality girls or sleeping with many girls has more to do with working on yourself and not putting her/them first than anything else. A woman/women can never be the focus of a man’s life and a man must be the leader. It doesn’t work otherwise.
Long Term Vs Short Term Goals
I’m going to be honest and start this by saying that pursuing sex with many women will not fulfill you, I’m not saying it can’t be fun but this should never be the number one priority in your life. I will also go on to say that most men would be best off in a marriage to a singular woman. However that women needs to be a good character and frankly that is so hard to find that I don’t think marriage for every man is practical in today’s day and age.
If you are looking to get married remember that like attracts like, so working on yourself is the best thing you can do for attracting a quality woman for marriage, dating, and mating. Again regardless of what you want the priority is to be working on yourself, putting yourself first, and then letting women into your life.
Sort of like when flying an airplane they say if the yellow masks come down to put yours on first before you put on your child’s. It’s not because you hate the child that you put yours on first but rather because you can’t help the child if you don’t first help yourself. Works the same with women. You have to put yourself first and work on yourself first and then can worry about them after.
This isn’t being selfish, it’s being prudent and wise. Again I’m not saying be selfish as in being cruel or callous but rather to put yourself first because it’s the only way that anything works. Man’s first priority is living God’s mission for his life and a woman/women come after that. That’s the only way anything works. That’s the proper relation.
God – Man – Woman – Children
Masculinity Is The Key
I want to address another topic here, I’ve said before that if you’re a masculine man you’ll never have any problem attracting women, and that’s the truth. When you focus on yourself and your development as a man women come easy. I don’t say that to be flippant but simply because it’s the truth. It required character and wisdom on top of that to attract a quality woman of character, the only type that makes a good long term wife, but for women in general masculinity is all that is required.
Focus on becoming strong and wise and women will take care of themselves. Add character to that and you can find a woman of character who can make a good wife. Again I’m painting in broad strokes here because of the space limitation but I think you can understand what I’m getting at. Be a man and everything else falls into place.
But what does that mean? Well, it means many things but following the outlines given here is a huge start on that path. A man must lead and be strong, as well as dominant, this holds true from dating to the bedroom to life in general. It is no different for a wolf or a lion than it is for a man. We may put more trappings on it but the same basic things are there. Testosterone and estrogen. Again don’t mean to oversimplify this but far too many overcomplicate it. Again, be a man and everything else will fall into place.
Don’t Make A Simple Thing Complicated
You first priority in life should be living out God’s mission for your life, you can exchange that with another phrase if you wish but the meaning remains the same. Your number one goal is living out that burning passion in your heart and becoming the type of man that can make your imagination and dreams into reality through the force of his will, dedication, study, and hard work.
Blood, sweat, tears, and years of work and all that. Women, money, and respect are the primal needs of man and quite simple to solve really. Work on yourself, learn a couple key concepts, stick to them and you shouldn’t have too many problems with any of these things here. Also understand that these primal needs are just the start. You must move on to them in order to grow.
Not move on as in forget or pretend they don’t exist but rather move on from because you have them mastered and can move on to higher level stuff. You can move on to the cosmic mission once the primal needs are solved. So don’t ignore the primal needs and don’t look down on them, they are an important part of you.
Master them, fulfill them in a healthy way, and then move on to the next level of growth.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.
-Charles Sledge
