You are the center of your own universe. Despite how that sounds that isn’t an egotistical thing, it’s a natural thing. Sure that can go wrong when you never consider others but it can just go just as wrong when you never consider yourself. You should put yourself first in life and take care of yourself first. Not in a selfish way but in the way that you can’t help others unless you first help yourself. What I mean is that you have to take care of yourself and get your own stuff straight before you can be much help to others.
I’m not saying if your car crashes into a river that you get out first before helping your wife or children. What I’m saying is that you should put yourself first, take care of what needs to be taken care of, and then you can be much more efficient at helping others. I’ve used this analogy before but it’s like on an airplane when they tell you to put on your own breathing mask before assisting others.
So many males spend their lives serving others while neglecting themselves and this is not a healthy way to live nor a productive or healthy mindset to have. You come first in your own life, not in an egotistical way, but because it doesn’t make sense otherwise. You have to invest in yourself first and foremost and put yourself first so you can be an effective man, father, husband, or whatever else.
Maybe putting yourself first is not the right word here but I think you get the general concept I’m getting at. You need to take care of your needs first and invest in yourself first before you can truly help others, regardless of who they are. And you should always be investing in yourself. Because here’s the thing, in this world we’re either declining or growing, there’s not much standing still.
You should always be learning, growing, and becoming more, each and every day. You can only do this through having your priorities straight and investing in yourself. Then and only then can you help others. It doesn’t work the other way around. Take care of your needs first and then help others to your hearts content. So many males see this as a bad thing when it’s a good thing, the best thing if you want to truly help others.
The Mindset Of The Successful Man
Without having the right mindset success, no matter your definition of it, is going to elude you. There’s a lot of nonsense in the whole positive thinking, if you believe it you can achieve it field. However the core of what they’re getting at is essential to success and getting what you want out of life. Namely that if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else is going to, and you’re not going to be able to get what you want out of life. There’s an old book and lecture called The Strangest Secret In The World by Earl Nightingale that I recommend every man listen to at least once.
It does a good job of getting to the core of this idea of how your thoughts influence your life. And while actions define a man and show his character, your thoughts still matter and having a brain that is working against you will prevent you from ever getting where you want to go. At the risk of sounding cheesy, you have to believe in yourself and you have to have faith. If you don’t, your mind will work against you and sabotage you from achieving the things that you could achieve otherwise.
You have to believe that you can do something. If you constantly tell yourself you can’t do something or that something is impossible for someone like you then guess what? Even if you could achieve that thing, even if you could achieve that thing easily your mind, which is incredibly powerful, will prevent you from doing do because you said you couldn’t. It’ll actively work against you when with the right thinking it would be actively working for you.
Now I’m not saying that you just need to think something and it’ll materialize, that’s not how the world works. I’m not saying if you just think the right thoughts all your dreams will come true, no. Action, action is what will get you thing in this life. However there is a relationship between thought and action. People say thought is the parent of the action and there is something to that.
Look at it this way. Let’s say your goal was to grow a crop. Now having bad negative thoughts would be like growing the crop on hard, nutrient absent soil. Whereas having positive or at least reaffirming thoughts would be like growing it on soft, nutrient dense soil. With negative thoughts you’d never be able to achieve your goal but with positive thoughts you’d be able to. However even with positive thoughts you’d still have to work hard, plant each seed, water it, and protect it, and then harvest it.
So right, good thinking allows you to grow and accomplish your goals but doesn’t do it for you, you still have to work hard. Negative wrong thinking stifles you from achieving your goals and will prevent you from achieving them even if you work hard. Be mindful of your thoughts for they play a big role in where you end up in life. If you’re constantly down on yourself, complaining, whining, and negative you’ll never get anywhere.
I’m not saying to have ridiculous overblown thoughts like “Every day is perfect in every way.” that doesn’t make sense. Just cut the negative thoughts, go from “I’ll never be able to do this.” to “I’ll never know if I can do this unless I try and keep at it for a period of time.” stuff like that. Again at the risk of sounding cheesy, have a “can do” attitude. It really makes a huge difference. Approach things with a positive healthy attitude and mindset. Not positive as in Pollyanna type mindset, but positive as in “I can do this and will try” mindset. Realistic but positive.
Another Way In Which A Successful Person’s Mind Is Different Than An Unsuccessful Person’s
However thinking what we’re calling positively isn’t the end of having a successful mindset that’ll take you where you want to go. There are other major factors to it as well. We talked about putting yourself first and investing in yourself and how that doesn’t mean your selfish, it means your prudent. But it goes beyond that. Many people have what is called a limited mindset. Where they believe they’re stuck where they are, that everything’s determined by genes or circumstance, and that no matter what they can’t change or grow.
Then there are people who have what is called a growth mindset. A person with a growth mindset believes that they can change, heal, become better, and grow. And like many things when it comes to the mind, each of these types of mindset become their own self-fulfilling prophecies. What I mean by that is that people with a limited or fixed mindset stay stagnate, decline, and don’t get the things they want from life. Whereas people with growth mindsets are able to adapt, change, heal, and grow. Successful people have growth mindsets, unsuccessful people have limited or fixed mindsets.
The truth of the matter is you have no idea what your potential is. You have no idea what you can accomplish if you put your mind to it. The power of faith and belief is one of the most powerful forces in this world, as is willpower, but that’s something we’ll get too a little later. Don’t limit yourself, you don’t know what you’re capable of accomplishing, no one does. You’ll surprise yourself with what you can do. Have a growth mindset, believe that you can grow, learn, heal, and become more and you will. Believe you can’t do any of that and you won’t.
The choice is up to you and it’s a pretty easy one to make.
God’s Gift To Man
We’re winding down and coming to one of the last aspects of the mindset of the successful and that is willpower. With enough willpower there is little you can’t accomplished. Don’t listen to the modern world nerds who say that willpower is a muscle that can only be worked so much. They have no idea what they’re talking about. They want you trapped and weak and will use science, religion, hook or crook to make sure you stay trapped, weak, and vulnerable.
Willpower comes from within you and while it can’t do everything and shouldn’t be used for everything, it can do a lot. It’s not something where you have X amount each day and once it’s gone it’s gone. Like a muscle you can build it but unlike a muscle the reserves go as far as you want them to. As long as you want to pull more willpower up it’ll come. Everyone gives in at some point but they do it by choice. Not saying that I blame them or that I’d never give up, we all have our breaking point.
Just pointing out that the willpower is there so long as you pull it up and out. With an iron will you can accomplish great things and defy fate itself. Willpower is God’s gift to man to defy the gods, if that makes sense. All great people throughout the ages have developed their willpower to a high level or maybe it’d be better to say they’ve developed their ability to draw on their willpower to a high level. Regardless the facts are there, willpower is a gift and developing an iron will is one of the wisest things you can do.
A caveat, by iron will I don’t mean foolish stubbornness. Everything can be misinterpreted. By an iron will I mean a discipline, determination, and what was called “stick-to-itiveness”, to become a person who “has not quit in them” and all that. Remember you have to work hard and work smart, not just one of the other. So develop an iron will and combine it with the other things listed here. And beware the false prophets of the modern world whether they wear holy symbols around their necks or white lab coats over their shoulder.
Beware the traps that false authority would lay for you, but I’m getting off topic.
A Quote To Wrap Things Up
There is an old quote by the great man Henry Ford that sums up much of what I have to say here, much of what I’m trying to get at and communicate to you and that quote is.
“Whether you think you or can’t, you’re right.”
Guard your mind, guard your thoughts, adopt the right mindset and mind habits that are going to get you what you want out of life and give you your definition of success. After all a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.
-Charles Sledge
