This is an article from Jared Trueheart of Legends Of Men a site dedicated to masculine development, masculine literature, and myth. In this article Jared talks about something that is rarely talked about on this side of the web and that is gratitude and what role it plays in our lives and how it can motivate us. Enjoy.
Pride is a great thing. It’s often the fuel for that fire in our bellies. It’s a connection to our ancestors and future generations. But when pride is misused it forms a dysfunctional ego. And when that happens men all too often become ungrateful. They fail to appreciate the people around them. As a result, they push those people away. At no time is this more evident than the Thanksgiving season.
Men are in danger of falling into the trap of thinking that feeling gratitude is a sign of weakness. That is, if they have to thank someone for their help it reflects weakness in themselves. They believe then that a man should be strong enough to do anything and everything on his own. This is foolish. Independence and self-sufficiency are necessary qualities in a man, but they have limits. That’s why men are social creatures by nature (or design, you pick).
The most common mistake most men make about being grateful to others is that gratitude reflects some weakness, some lack of self-sufficiency. In fact, gratitude is one of the strongest motivators a man can have. Thanksgiving is the best time of the year to be reminded of this and to utilize it.
How I Use Thanksgiving To Motivate Me
Some people keep gratitude journals or write about their gratitude in journal entries. This is a surprisingly powerful method of motivation. I’ve used this in the past and may do it again. The frequency and depth of which a man can do this is entirely individual. The point is to make you appreciate your place in the world, even if it sometimes feels low.
At Thanksgiving time in particular though, I do a lot of reflecting on everything I have. You could even say I meditate on it. I’m not talking about material possessions, though some can have significance. I’m talking about the actions and behaviors of my loved ones. My family. My friends. My tribe. I’ll give some examples:
I’m thankful for my subordinates at work, who trust me enough to do what I need them to do so we can all be successful together.
I’m thankful for my superiors who sought my advancement, for they believed in me enough to fight for me to attain higher positions.
I’m grateful for my mother for making the time to visit me a few times each year and for making sure I always had food in my belly as a child.
I’m thankful for my brother and sister for believing in me and supporting me when I needed support.
I’m thankful for my best friends, who call me brother and would move mountains for me even though we are not presently in the same state.
I’m thankful for my wife, who raises my children, cares for our home, does domestic tasks so I don’t have to do them, and works to stay attractive for me.
I’m thankful for my children, not just for their unconditional love (which would be enough), but because I have complete faith that they will bring pride and respect to our family name, and carry on my greatest work in that regard.
Gratitude as a Motivator
Every year at this time especially, I reflect on these because they are the most significant things in my life, from the most significant people in my life. When I reflect on these I reaffirm my commitment to their faith in me. I say aloud that I won’t let them down. That I will be worthy of their respect. That I will earn their trust. That when I succeed we will all succeed together.
This is redundant in a sense. I already have their faith, respect, trust, and for some their love. But that’s not the point. When a man reflects on all the people who are significant to him, and what they do for him, he will feel the unbreakable urge to do right by them. The urge to make your loved-ones proud of you and to validate their faith in you is one of the strongest motivators a man can have.
No man is an island. No man raises himself from birth to self-sufficiency. Even if it feels today like you have nothing, you do. At the very least you have a brain, muscles, and the ability to put them both to action. You have a fire in your soul lit by the gods that can only be extinguished when you die. You owe to the gods to grow that fire to a raging inferno. If nothing else, be grateful for those.
So do yourself a favor this Thanksgiving (or better yet, do it today), take stock of the most important people in your life. Ask yourself what they do for you and why they do it. This doesn’t include material possessions. Find the deeper meaning behind what people do for you and why they do it. Then ask yourself what you would do to earn what they’ve given you.
