In general I like to take these member only posts as a time to get a bit more reflective and reveal a bit more about myself as well as my real thoughts on life and the way that things are. Though most of my content is more of the “how to” variety do not doubt that I don’t have my own opinions on certain things even if I don’t necessarily always express them in my writing.
When I look back at the many articles that I have written and will continue to write (think this one will be article one thousand and something) I wonder how many of them had the impact that I wanted them to. Sure some are definitely more important than others (for example the masculinity section is 100x more important than the attraction section) but the traffic rarely if ever reflects that.
It’s interesting as I’ve worked through all of this (and also myself) how much that once glittered turned out not to be gold and how my writings have reflected that. Don’t get me wrong I’m still a believer that you have to give a man what he wants (how to make money, be in shape, be tough, attract women) and all of that before he’ll be responsive to what he needs (spiritual development, culture, family, and the like). But with that being said there comes a time to make the leap.
What Actually Matters
Couple things I can tell you for sure (though you’ll have to discover them on your own) money in the bank doesn’t bring fulfillment (though money is needed), having an X notch count or hooking with girl Y does not bring fulfillment (though a man will always want to be attractive to the opposite sex), and having X body fat or benching Y does not either (though a man shouldn’t let himself get too weak or too fat).
Some other things that I can tell you (but that again you’ll have to figure out for yourself). Family and true friends (the few that there are) matter more than most things in life. You can get by and live a happy life with a lot less than you originally think (but you have to be smart about it). And that quality is more important than quantity in pretty much every facet of life (money, friends, women, etc.).
Some of these things are found out after doing all the other things and finding out that they don’t do that much for you. Other times they are brought about by a near death experience or something like it. For the very rare maybe it’s something you’ll just get and you won’t have to do it the hard way like I did (of course this is very rare, most have to experience things for themselves to figure it out).
Culture, Family, Order
Some other things that matter. When you look at the state of things a good portion of it was accomplished while people were out chasing after all of those other things that don’t matter. Send the villagers out on a wild goose chase while they come in and poison the well sort of deal. There’s all sorts of thing a man can get caught up in, in this world. Very few of them good or bringing fulfillment.
There are very few that are “fighting the good fight” in actuality. Not that I blame them of course, just an observation. I think of all of the things I’ve written about that mean so very little yet at the same time I think a man has to go through these things and figure them out for himself. People can tell you something but that doesn’t mean you’ll get it unless you go through it yourself.
The sad thing is when people stay stuck in loops that’ll never lead anywhere. Whether it’s drug addiction or chasing that next dollar. When one is “seeing the light” and about to go on they all add up to about the same thing. I’d strongly recommend figuring out what’s important to you and if it’s money/girls/being tough/in shape then just understand that while those things are all part of life that what means most will change eventually.
Growing Into More
In many ways this site itself can be seen as a reflection of how men grow and change as I myself have grown and changed. There are aspects of this site that going through again seems as appealing as jumping off a tall bridge (AKA not very). But again that’s how the journey works and it’s interesting to look back and see how far one has come and how one has changed and developed through the years.
And for that I’ll leave the old stuff up though I disagree with some of it or would at least change the focus of many things. But those things also serve to give males what they want so that they can then move on to what they need, which is kind of the purpose of this site in the first place. And something I want you to take away from this article.
Where are you headed and what are you growing into? Are things like culture, family, and the like becoming more or less important to you? And if so what things are becoming more important to you and what things are less? This isn’t to make value judgments on these things but to get an accurate measure on where you want to go and where you’re currently at. And then figure out what is needed.
