Have another great guest post here from reader Daniel Mason. Daniel’s written some great guest posts in the back that you should definitely check out. In this way Daniel talks about hypergamy, hypogamy, and more importantly what a man can learn and use from both of those things. Enjoy.
“I held a beauty contest between him and me, and I won.” One of my late-father, Bud Mason’s many stock sayings, of which I’m regretting not writing them all down. His words accentuate what I have to say in this article. Fellas, we’ve all been there. You pursue a gal for weeks, months, sometimes years. The vibe is good. You get feelers from ‘your people’ and game the lady – until – you’re sure of a YES – and when you FINALLY ask her out – 0. Nada. Shot down. Crash and burn!
WTH just happened!? Then, inevitably, weeks later you run into her at a bar, mall, party and … you see her guy. Really? That’s it!? This guy’s the mother-lode!? WOW. Looks like a ________ ( insert your own word )! And, I’m sure the ladies feel the same about that great guy that ghosts them ( after hooking up ) only to see what he latches onto down the road. Hey, we all have egos!
Hypergamy is what women’s DNA sets them out to do in seeking a male companion. Women as procreating childbearers look for strong, symmetrical genetic features in men, which demonstrates a proclivity for their beautiful offspring to survive.
They also look for a man to be well-skilled, ambitious, lead and have good financial prospects, perhaps higher in social class, in order to provide the best for that offspring. That the man can coolly handle obstacles that come up in life, demonstrating the ability to bring the family through peril and come out on the other side intact.
Hypogamy is what a man’s DNA has inclined him to search for in his female mate. Usually, someone younger and fit that shows she’s of a good genetic line for child birthing – healthy babies. She would most likely be less educated, providing less income, not as experienced in the ways of the world.
Many would argue hypergamy is marrying up, socially. Conversely, hypogamy would be marrying down. At least this is how it USED to be, things have changed ( although, especially with athletes – you see a lot of ‘baby mama’s’ gold-digging to get on a dude’s ‘payroll’ – hey, you only go around once – ‘fantasy’ lives are expensive! ).
Also, the younger generation has created a ‘friends’ social network ( for better or worse(?), history will bear witness ) with everyone just ‘hangin’ out. For the rest of us everyday working-stiffs, a man’s ability to provide ( educated women can make good money these days ), procreate ( two words: ‘sperm bank’ ) and protect ( t.-rex is extinct ) is no longer needed. We’ve become OBSOLETE guys – essentially. The one-thing we CAN still be is stellar companions!
Men are attracted to good-looking women. Women are looking for good-men who are attractive. That’s it, therein lies the difference. The chasm between those perspectives is vast and complex when you get down to an individual’s set desires. It runs in our blood, brains, loins, DNA. Since the caveman/woman days.
The dating apps/algorithms, gurus, PUA’s ( some of these bloggers’ techniques – to a degree – seem rather Pavlovian!? ), have only exasperated that endless search for the ‘right’ person.
Although science and the billion dollar match-making industry has researched this conundrum to the nth degree and can lay down statistics of almost certainty, nobody can predict the IT factor that makes or breaks a relationship. Chemistry, relationship experiences, trends?
Dating, was all fine and dandy in the good ol’ days when young people wanted to get married ( you met somebody at school, hometown, church and ‘we’ stayed together – forever! ) and a slew of ‘potentials’ weren’t at your fingertips on a phone ( like Ebay for ‘used’ people ). People on dating apps have a tendency to overrate ( some are just flat-out liars ) their youthful exuberance, looks, height ( the number #1 lie, both sexes prefer taller partners – an attraction ), weight, income, to the degree where they are looking for someone ’out of their league’.
Shrewd people know how to stack their bio’s and consequently honest people have to wade through that lot of bullshit. But, here’s the caveat, you only get what YOU are! Both sexes want only the best of the best, ‘top shelf’, as it were. Therein lies the downer of using dating apps. It becomes even worse when you get older – because there’s so much more at STAKE: time, pensions, property, baggage. You may have kids still at home, or yet still – another, emotionally/financially, devastating divorce!? No one wants to get ‘duped’ by a sleazy scammer.
For women their only sexual market value is their LOOKS ( although on apps women are becoming just as looks oriented as men ). Unless, of course, a dude is trying to get his hands on YOUR money in order to nab some/younger hottie. For men, it’s still your ability to PROVIDE – which means at least, equal financial resources to the woman, if not besting hers’. If you’re just an average income guy, guess what, you’re screwed! All you can get ( at best ) is an average woman – that’s if you’re lucky! Even the average woman out there doesn’t want ‘just’ an average guy. Sorry, I didn’t make this stuff up folks. Check it out for yourself!
These days, men and women keep asking ‘where are all the nice girls/guys’ to go out with? Both sides are blaming the other and throwing in the proverbial ‘towel’ ( some surveys are saying about 50% of the available ‘single’ population has dropped out of this ‘dating hell’ ). We’re all still here, but far-left liberalism and feminism has ingrained both sexes that our traditional courtship values are old skool!
In the West especially, men are told that if you have sexual thoughts towards women that you’re a rapist. The media said you need to repress those thoughts. So ‘we’ did and women are now saying ‘where are all the REAL ( i.e. males who express their sexuality ) men’? We’ve ( honorably ) stifled our sexual masculinity guys.
By sexuality, I’m not talking about being a leering creeper here, now. We’re so soft and confused ( a lot of us wind up in the dreaded ‘friend zone‘ while the ‘bad boys’ – about 20% of single gents – are slaying about 80% of the ‘action’ out there ) we don’t know what we are anymore? Hence, the rise of the red pill movement and ‘manosphere’!
Same goes for women in our culture. Feminism said being a lady is weak, that it’s not useful to get to the top of the corporate ladder. So, it was instilled to repress that too. Women found out the corporate world can really SUCK and to get to that pinnacle they had to do it by acting masculine and giving up their femininity ( also, delaying family – if having kids at all ). Consequently, men are saying where are the ‘true’ ladies out there? And, in my opinion for what it’s worth, everything is fricked up and miserable between the sexes because of it – yall! Tell you
what, when you witness a TRUE masculine man or feminine woman walk in a room – you notice! They stand out! Confident and at ease in being themselves. Powerfully attractive!
The bitterness out there of good people who’ve been burned in a relationship or marriage is truly palpable ( there’s a lot of anger – whew boy! ). The courts have made it very easy to obtain a divorce and therefore less inclination to work through problems. About 70% of divorces are filed by women and it’s usually ( about 50% of the time ) for just ‘irreconcilable differences’, no fault, where states allow it.
If they’re kids involved, 80% of the time mom gets custody ( so she has little time or energy to primp for/retain a new beau – who probably isn’t interested in raising ‘her’ kids ) and then dad pays support ( the courts are woefully antiquated when it comes to how much more money women are making these days vs. the man’s income – red pill sites call this ‘legal rape’ ) so that his life is financially halted, perhaps ’ruined’ ( and potential new partners now, don’t see him as a good income provider ), so there’s just degrees of losing on both sides ( including the kids, unless it’s just an abusive, marriage misery and your partner’s trying to change ‘your’ core mindset – then yes, DIVORCE! ).
But, no one cares ( the law ) because the attorneys and courts are making money hand over fist ( hey, it’s not THEIR problem )! They don’t teach you all this crap in school!
So, what can YOU do to keep some sanity with all this mess? Be authentic, genuine, true and … a little mysterious. Reflect and work on yourselves emotionally, mentally, physically ( men have a tendency to let themselves go more than women ), the interloping body-conscious media is rough on females – no woman wants to be your ‘nurse with a purse’ guys! Always be growing, learning ( read Charle’s blog ), have a direction – a truly interested gal will follow you.
Show a little backbone ( women hate ‘nice guy‘ pushovers ), act bold. Oh, here’s a biggie fellas, stop bitching – start solving. Take control of your life! Women don’t care for whiners. Be a good listener for her – don’t try to ‘fix’ your woman’s problems ( you’ll be her ‘hero’ ). Make life entertaining! Like Cyndi Lauper sang “girls just want to have fun.” ALL people get bored with their work by the end of the week, she wants to escape – in YOU. Men need to unabashedly celebrate their masculinity – not repress it! Women need to embrace their femininity, see it as a strength and not a weakness! Let’s celebrate our ‘higher power’ given, birthright, lineage!
Lastly, people aren’t perfect. Lord knows I’m not! Men want appreciation and respect. Women want comfort and empathy. Remember these two last lines if nothing else from this article. It’s just how WE tick!
