Pain is a constant facet of life. There’s no getting around it. We will all feel pain during our lives. Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and every other kind of pain there is out there. Some will be broken by their pain but others will use it to achieve greatness. Pain is something that everyone seeks minimize while seeking to maximize their pleasure. It’s a basic human equation and one salesmen have made trillions off of.
But what is pain? And what use do you have for it? And how can you use it to build yourself up and become greater? First off, what is pain. Merriam-Webster have a few definitions for it. The first is.
: a localized or generalized unpleasant bodily sensation or complex of sensations that causes mild to severe physical discomfort and emotional distress and typically results from bodily disorder (such as injury or disease)
Which is what we generally think of when we think of pain but then there’s also.
mental or emotional distress or suffering
And then
trouble, care, or effort taken to accomplish something
All deal with the pain that we’ll be talking about today. And while that helps illuminate what exactly pain is, the better question and more enlightening one is why do we feel pain?
The Root Vs The Leaves
Truth be told, there are millions of different reasons and ways that one may feel pain. Most of them are because of the individuals fault but then there are a great many things that are not a person’s fault and yet they can still feel tremendous pain from. While we can not control all pain that happens to us and it’s not possible to necessarily make lemonade out of all lemons thrown at us, there is still much that we can do.
The first thing is when we feel pain, to recognize at. Now at first this may sound obvious but when it comes to emotional, spiritual, and mental pain it can manifest as other things. We’ll say “No, I’m not in pain.” but still shows signs that we are in pain. Stress, sickness, numbness, and so many other things may be reactions to pain that we’ve labeled something else so we don’t have to deal with it.
Learn when you are feeling pain. This is pretty obvious physically but can be less so emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Once you’ve identified when you have pain then look at what that pain is coming from. And look closely. It is something that you have any control over?
Now wait.
Because the gut reaction to a lot of things is to say “No, I don’t have any control. Otherwise I would have done something already.” but look again. Sure maybe you cannot strike at the root of the problem, but there is always something that you can do. I’m not saying it’ll change or fix everything but there’s always something that you can do for chronic pains.
What’s the reason? The reason for your stress? Sickness? Pain? Discomfort? Numbness? Anger? Hatred? Look for root causes and keep digging because very often what we think is the main root is really just an offshoot. Keep digging, keep going.
It’s painful work but needed to get to the true root of things.
Again And Again And Again
Let’s see what this looks like in practice. Say you’re feeling numb and you’re not sure why. You have a nice girlfriend, your getting stronger and progressing at the gym, jobs works good, family relations are okay, and you’re confused because you feel you should be good. So what’s wrong?
The first thing you do is start examining your life. Is there any potential weaknesses? Things that you’re missing but maybe you’ve buried? Be honest with yourself, cut to the bone, be harsh if you have to. Examine each part of your life. Do you have bad habits that are wrecking your mind and holding you back? Is there something you know you should be doing but are not? Are these things truly fulfilling for you?
Maybe the job is draining you. All jobs do, but maybe this one more than it’s worth. Or maybe you need more friends, more brothers in your life. Male friendship is a pillar of a healthy tribe, community, and individual man. Man was not meant to be alone. A wife and child does not make a tribe. Though they are important parts of it. Maybe you’re not pushing yourself and so feel dulled.
There could be a million reasons but the point is to do the self-examination and continue to do it again and again. Every time you come up against pain, against a problem. Examine it, then examine yourself, research what you must, and then set a plan and act it out. Daily and weekly actions that’ll take you where you need to go.
Do this over and over again and again and you’ll be amazed at how much you progress.
One Step At A Time
Brick by brick, day my day, minute by minute, you make your life. The actions that you take or do not take create who you are and who you are becoming each and every day. Your pain is telling you something, you should listen. Sometimes you can’t do much about what your pain is telling you and that sucks. But more often than not you can do something about what your pain is telling you and you can change yourself and your pain in the process.
You can use your pain to create the life you’ve always wanted and become the man you always wanted to be. It’s not an easy process but it is a worthy one.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
