Couldn’t think of a better word than “take stock” but as long as you get the meaning that’s what’s important. I remember reading one of Arnold’s books on body building (wasn’t the encyclopedia though he probably mentioned it in there) where he talked about taking time to take stock of your weaknesses as a bodybuilder. What he recommend was taking a full length mirror and viewing your body from every angle from both a flexed and a non-flexed angle.
He also recommended having someone you trusted to be honest with you there as well to mercilessly point out any flaws and weaknesses as well as mercilessly scrutinizing yourself from any angle or muscle that was under developed and needed to be worked on. That way come competition (when it counted and the cards are down) you would be strong from every angle and every way. I do this myself every couple of months taking stock of my own physique and occasionally have a buddy who’s knowledgeable about body building help me out.
But it’s the concept that is important here and can be applied far beyond simply body building (though I recommend you do this for your physique as well). We should be applying this concept to every area of our lives. Too often we overcompensate in one area while allowing weaknesses to grow and develop in another area. Then we lie to ourselves and pretend that this isn’t happening when it is. There are plenty of examples I can think of but I don’t have time to list them all but we can all think of someone who’s overdeveloped in one area and sorely lacking in another.
The Well Rounded Man
This means different things to different people and there have been plenty of weak examples of this but the actual concept is a solid one. You shouldn’t be too overspecialized and should shore up weaknesses wherever they crop up. The well rounded man is a man who cannot be overcome from any angle (or at least works to not be overcome from any angle). This isn’t about some random things that I think makes a man but what works in that harshest and truest of testing grounds…nature. So for example some would say that “learning to knit” or some other retarded bullshit is part of being their definition of a “well rounded man”.
Whereas mine comes from a more natural position. But anyways the purpose of all this is to take stock of any area that you are weak in from time to time to evaluate where you can do better. Here’s how lots of men are not just physically (though that’s true) but also mentally and spiritually. They’re like the guy who only does arms and chest and nothing else. The guy ends up looking like a clown (not to mention develops issues). Obviously arms and chest are essential to building your physique. But if you never did anything else, doing more arms and chest isn’t what you need nor what’s going to help you.
Yet this is how many men are. They discount other areas saying that they don’t need them or that they’re not “part of being a man” when they are from the truest of definitions (biological survival). I’m not saying there isn’t more to it than that just stating a fact so you’ll understand a concept. So now that you understand the need for taking stock of your weaknesses, let’s go through a basic matrix that you can look at to take stock of your own weaknesses. I’m not saying this is comprehensive or will cover literally everything however it will give you a good start and headed in the right direction.
The Weakness Matrix
I’m going to try to cover a lot of ground here. Many will look at this an call it “basic” (okay thanks) or “juvenile”. The “juvenile” will come from males who believe that masculinity is whatever gay shit they want it to be instead of what it actually is. So again this is from a basic biological perspective while not leaving out the mental and spiritual components of men. It hits on the physical, mental, spiritual, and other aspects of life and of men. So we cover everything from being combat ready to getting your finances in order to attracting women (what’s more biological than that?), and more.
Alright let’s get started.
Physical
Physique – Fat and scrawny guys like to talk about how this isn’t manly or doesn’t matter but the only people they are fooling are themselves. It’s great to function as a man but do you also look like one? Do you have much wider shoulders than you do waist? Do you have broad shoulders, larger arms, a larger back, legs, etc.? You don’t have to be a full time body builder or fitness model but stop pretending like this shit doesn’t matter when it absolutely 100% does. If you lack muscle or have too much fat address that shit.
Strength – Strength is separate from physique. One is about how you look and one is about the strength and power of your body. While my training trends towards body building (though I do combat training on top of it) I also make sure that my strength is staying up to par as well. Don’t get me wrong 3 months of time in the ring or mat will do far more for you in a fight than a 500 lb deadlift will but strength still matters and is something that should be developed. Powerlifts, strongman stuff, doesn’t matter what you use to measure strength but find something and develop it.
Combat Skills – So not only must you look like a man (physique) you must function as one as well. Combat skills cover a broad and wide area of skill. This includes everything from non-lethal hand to hand stuff (boxing, wrestling, etc.) to combatives (throat shots, eye gouges, etc.) and basic skills with weapons (knives, sticks, pistols, rifles, shotguns, etc.) and the basics of small unit tactics and survival. Being conditioned to some degree is also part of this. So you could break this down into hand to hand skills, firearms skills, weapon (non-firearm) skills, basic conditioning, and basic survival (including basic first aid) skills. Again covering lots of ground here but should point you in right direction.
Mental
Reading – To have the ability to read and not make use of it is so fucking stupid. There’s a common saying that reading “gives you superpowers” (meaning books not random posts on social media or whatever) and there is a lot of truth to this. Yeah knowledge without application isn’t going to get you shit but at the same time having that knowledge can literally save you years of trial and error and get you in a year (while taking action) what it would take someone on their own ten or twenty years. Read fiction and good non-fiction. Read about areas that you’re struggling in there are literally good books on every topic out there, read non-fiction about heroes who inspire you. Do both not just one or the other. But make sure you’re reading and taking in information. Reading also strengthens the mind.
Communication – You should know the basics of speaking well and writing well and what makes those things effective. Being able to communicate effectively with others is a needed skill for any man. Learn the basics of good speech and learning how to speak in front of others. Also learn how to write and start writing every day (even if it’s just in a journal) writing helps to organize and make exact your thoughts which leads to better and more clear communication. Becoming proficient in both speech and writing is essential for every man, don’t neglect these.
Spiritual
Will To Power – Spiritual things are going to be a bit harder to define. And by spiritual I don’t mean the modern corrupted meaning of the word which really has no meaning. Rather I’m talking about that fire in your heart and the strength of your will. I know there are some things to lay out here. First and foremost getting numbing agents out of your life weed, porn, video games, and things of that nature. As well as developing the power of your will through challenge and discipline. Again hard to nail down some stuff with spiritual but this should get you in the right direction.
Biological
Brotherhood & Blood – Tribe is essential to man, the lone wolf is the dead and exploited wolf. You must be building bonds and building up a tribe. Get close to your brothers and strengthen them also reach out to your blood and draw close to them. This can be anything from hitting up a friend or relative that you haven’t in a long time. It can be organizing something that all your brothers or parts of the family can do with you. It can be forming a workout group, a yearly 4th of July party, or anything else. It’s about building up the bonds, strength, and connection between brothers and yourself as well as blood and yourself. Don’t allow yourself to become isolated and alone.
Women – I know a lot of guys are going to get their panties in a wad about this saying dumb shit like “Attracting women has nothing to do with masculinity” or whatever when you and I both know that this is complete B.S. and weak males just say this to stop themselves from feeling bad from not attracting the women that they want. Look a guy that attracts lots of attractive women (gets quality and quantity) is going to have higher status in a group of men because he is more masculine. If women don’t find you attractive then something is wrong. I don’t have time to address why this is but I’ll put this here. Women work as “mirrors” of sorts and while what they say has not part in masculinity what their pussies get wet for (aka millions of years of biological adaptation) says something about a man’s masculinity plain and simple. Like I’ve said if men don’t fear you (even if just on a subconscious level) and women don’t get wet for you (even if they don’t admit it) something is off with your masculinity. Reproduction plays a huge role in masculinity.
Finances – Can’t make money then you have a problem. Yeah go ahead and pretend like “money is the root of all evil” or some other stupid bullshit to rationalize your weakness but this is another one we all know is important. Money is agency in this world and you need agency to do what you want and develop yourself to your full potential as well as achieve as much freedom as possible. You need to learn things like marketing, copywriting, and sales to get the money that you need to do what you need to do in this world. Stop lying to yourself that you don’t need money because you do. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself.
Address Your Weaknesses
This is running longer than I had intended and I know I didn’t hit everything but the list above should give you a good guideline to get started. Having brothers should help you strive for all of this as well. Developing all these things give you power. And be careful of allowing one area (women and money come up a lot) that you’re weak in and pretending that it doesn’t play a role in being the strongest and best man. Stop pretending like banging more and hotter girls (or at least having the ability to attract them) or making gobs of money to free you up completely don’t have anything to do with your masculinity because the abso-fucking-lutely do.
Those were just two things I see pop up a lot we all have blind spots we pretend aren’t there. This shit doesn’t work without ruthless honestly and examination. Look a well developed man is in great shape, can fight, gets mad pussy (or attracts a super high quality babe who bears him many strong sons), makes money, is knowledgeable, is wise, is tough, is strong of soul, and so much more. Let’s all stop pretending otherwise and instead get out there and get after it, you can only lie to your soul for so long. So get rolling.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.
-Charles Sledge
