This is a weekly column by Stefan Simonovic. Stefan runs multiple dating sites and writes about dating for men. In this article Stefan talks about how to find the motivation to start working on yourself even when it’s hard. Enjoy.
Seven or eight years ago I was having a discussion with a friend of mine on improvement. This was around the time when Roger Federer was coachless for longer than most people would find comfortable, and my friend was a firm believer in perfection. ”He’s Roger frickin’ Federer!” he said. “He doesn’t need a coach. There isn’t a person in this world who could teach him something about tennis he doesn’t already know!” However, as close as Roger Federer was to perfection in tennis, I had to disagree. There is always room for improvement, even when you’re at the top of the world be it as a tennis player, neurologist, author or perfomer (cue in celebrity snapchats). You could be better than your opponents, which makes battling against them seem easy, but what about those battles we all have with ourselves? Becoming the best version of yourself, regardless of who you’re competing or who you’re measured against is the only true benchmark of success.
The Importance of Motivation
If comeptition isn’t a strong motivator to start working on yourself that’s perfectly fine. However, it is your job to find a compelling enough force that will motivate you to roll up your sleeves and get to work. Hadn’t Federer’s sleeves been “rolled up” his entire career, he wouldn’t be where he is today. In other words, regardless of how good you are at something, never stop striving to be the best you can be. The only question is, where does the motivation come from? Perhaps you’d find the opinion that the ladies have of you a sufficient motivator to turn off the Legend of Zelda and hit the gym. Maybe you’d like to brush up on your guitar skills for your friend’s birthday or would like to kick your next performance review out of the park by constantly showing your newly improved leadership skills. Whatever the sphere you’d like to work on, your motivation has to come from somewhere.
Goal Setting is Key
Setting challenging yet attainable goals is crucial if you want to achieve something. If you set a goal that is a piece of cake you’ll never find improvement. On the other hand, if your goal is far out of your reach, chances are you’ll give up and feel like a failure. Finally, if you set your goal just right you’ll embark on a fulfilling journey of growing in the field you choose to tackle even if your progress takes a while to materialize. And once you reach it you’ll find satisfaction as peaceful as a cat purring away on a mantel on a cold winter evening. It is precisely this moment that you should draw your motivation from. This isn’t the easiest thing in the world, but it’s one worth all the trouble and time that it takes to accomplish. No matter how small or grand your feat, if properly motivated there is nothing you can’t do (cue in winning the 18th and 19th slam at the age of 36!)
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-Charles Sledge