Emotions are important as are the proper expression of emotions. Having emotions is part of being human and part of functioning in a healthy way, regardless if you’re man or woman. Many misunderstand this, including those trying to give good advice. Often men are given the advice to not have emotions, to tamp them down, and not express them. However this isn’t healthy or human. And it doesn’t lead to anything good.
Which leads others to say that man should let his emotions go freely, to be the same as anyone else, just let the emotions flow and that so long as emotion is flowing, it’s good. However this is a false statement. As you’ve probably noticed by now, balance is a big part of living the good life, becoming a warrior poet, and heading in the right direction.
While there are some things you should in no way be balanced with, most things in life do call for balance. This is one of those things. I want to talk about men and emotions because it’s a topic that while often talked about, workable healthy solutions are seldom given. Both bottling up and never expressing emotions is bad but being controlled and overwhelmed by your emotions, whatever they may be, is just as destructive. We need to find a healthy middle which brings us to a big facet of masculinity.
Which is self-control.
Control Yourself Or Be Controlled By Others
You have two choices in this world. Control yourself or be controlled by others. When you give in to your baser nature, whatever expression that may take, you are putting control of your life into the many people out there who work day and night to manipulate and control people through their basic nature. Politicians, media pundits, salespeople, and so on and so forth. When you can’t control yourself or your baser nature you’re at the mercy of everyone and everything.
Not that controlling yourself makes you invincible, far from it. However it does lead to a more productive and satisfying life. Again there are only the two choices. So you can either work each and every day to exercise self-control and to guide yourself or be at the mercy of the tides of society. And we all know that doesn’t lead anywhere good. You must separate yourself from the maddening crowd to achieve anything worthwhile in life. To step out from the masses and not going with the flow towards the butcher shop or the cliff.
And one great place to start exercising self-control is with our emotions. To learn to take a second, breathe, taking things in, and not let our emotions get the best of us. I’m not saying don’t express emotions, you should absolutely express your emotions. Strong emotions, weak emotions, and whatever else. However this becomes a problem when you allowed yourself to be controlled by your emotions. Whether they be anger, sadness, happiness, or anything else.
Express all the emotion that you want, so long as its genuine and so long as you’re in control.
How To Exercise Self-Control
We started with emotions but this bleeds over to every facet of your life. Self-control is a hallmark of masculinity, a hallmark of becoming the warrior poet. But how do you develop self-control? The first thing is discipline. Work to overcome your “baser nature”, put another way do things that are hard, that challenge you, that even frighten you, take calculated risks and get out of your comfort zone. Stuff we’ve already covered, but it’s still important to make the connection.
Learn to control yourself, all aspects of yourself that you can, and you’ll go far. Work each day at doing what needs to be done instead of only what you want to do. Put duty before pleasure and you’ll be amazed at how far you can go and what you can achieve. It won’t be easy and there’ll be times when you slip but that’s natural and part of the process. Like riding a horse, when you fall off, just dust yourself off and get back on. Same with developing discipline and self-control.
Learn to say no to things that are not in your benefit. Whether that comes from other people or from your own baser nature. Learn to deny yourself things that don’t help you and focus on things that do help you. Keep a fit and trim mind just as you would with your body and soul. Have emotions, passions, and live life, just remain in control while you do so.
Self-Control Is The Start Of Self-Mastery
The ultimate goal is to have mastery of yourself, though I don’t know that it’s something humans can ever truly do. But in the chasing of perfection we can attain excellence. Self-discipline, self-control they are the first steps to self-mastery. They are valuable tools that’ll serve you for your entire life. Build, develop, and hone them and watch where your life can go.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.
-Charles Sledge
