One of the best things that I can recommend to anyone to get the most out of life and really “supercharge their existence” (or whatever) is to find something that they suck at and work hard at not sucking at it. Yeah there is probably a way more effective way of saying that but you get what I mean. Not just doing things that you suck at but also things that suck in general. Great example and one from my own life is boxing. Everyone thinks they have good hands until one of two things happens.
One, they get into a fight with a halfway competent fighter. Two, they try boxing or another striking art. And they find that “Shit, I have no hands”. Another thing is that boxing sucks, at least compared to most things. I mean yeah it’s probably easy-peezy compared to getting tortured by the CIA but for normal day to day activities it sucks. There’s not much fun about drenching in sweat and getting your face smashed in (at least at first). So for most people doing something like boxing is going to be great for them.
Why Should I Do This?
In order to grow we have to get out of our comfort zones. And by definition our comfort zones are things we are comfortable in. Now this doesn’t mean don’t have certain things you aren’t attaining mastery in but just that you should challenge yourself from time to time with new things and especially new things that aren’t that fun at first. Running is another example. I hate long distance running with a passion but for boxing I started doing road work. Which was exactly as fun as it sounds. I sucked at it and was sucking wind before I even got a half mile in.
It sucked and I sucked at it (which is exactly what we’re going for here). Overtime obviously I improved and started running much further without getting winded (never going to be a marathon runner or would want to but improved dramatically). Anyways the reason that you should do these things is because this is how you grow, rise above, and become more. This is how you become stronger and a better version of who you are. Find something that challenges you and generally isn’t fun to learn and get after it.
To Rise Above You Must Suffer
Suffering creates character and strength. These are things that aren’t earned easily and that must be earned by going “through the fire”. There are not shortcuts, no 30 day plans, no secret formulas. Look all that stuff is great for selling gullible people crap but when it comes to actually getting ahead in life and getting what you want you have to put in the work. You have to do the shit that scares you and that you’ll look stupid doing and that overall isn’t that fun.
So maybe that’s boxing, maybe that’s running, maybe that’s learning a musical instrument, maybe that’s public speaking, maybe that’s starting a business, maybe that’s taking up surfing, maybe that’s going skydiving. Okay not all of these things suck but they do represent fears to overcome and comfort zones to get out of. So focus first on breaking out of the comfort zone and doing things you’ll probably suck at and it’s a bonus if that thing actually sucks to do itself.
Eventually Discomfort Becomes Comfort
Eventually doing the things you suck at becomes doing things that you’re not totally horrible at to doing things you’re okay at to doing things that you’re good at to doing things that you’re great at. Eventually discomfort becomes comfort (at least to an extent). You become more. Look at the difference something like bootcamp can make in a kid. You can take an insecure little boy and he comes out a confident man. Yeah they’re are exceptions (pretty much always are) but overall you get the point that I am making.
Do the hard things that get you out of your comfort zone and you become more. Doing shit like this will do more for your masculinity, confidence, sense of self, mental wellbeing, toughness, and pretty much everything else in life than any cheesy self-help thing ever will. Do the shit that sucks and that’s hard. Sums up most development type things. What that is, is going to be different for different people. You know your fears and yourself so go out and confront them.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.
-Charles Sledge
