Confidence is essential to a man. Confidence is strength of mind and strength is to a man what beauty is to a woman. I.e. the main source of how they’re judged by this world and their place in it. A man can never be too confident like a woman can never be too beautiful. However we live in a society that does many things to crush a man’s confidence. The negative man looks at this as a inescapable fate (as the negative man is controlled by outside circumstances) while the positive man looks at this as a challenge to be overcome (as the positive man knows his fate is in his own hands).
Every man could do with a little more confidence. Here are ten of the most effective ways to build up and boost your confidence. You may find that some methods fit more with your personality than others and that’s fine. I personally don’t use everything on this list but know others who do. Find the ones that speak most to you and accomplish them. Then move on to others, like I said you don’t have to use everything on this list, pick the ones you like and then branch out from there. Alright now for ten of the most effective confidence boosters
Confidence Booster #1 – Get In Shape
An obvious but underappreciated one. Getting in shape is important for so many different factors. From overall wellbeing, to having energy, to attracting women, to being confident in yourself. Being in shape plays a key role in them all. Many people like to convince themselves that the gym is all about vanity but the truth is the gym is about so much more. Get in shape and confidence naturally follows. When you take your shirt off or enter a room and girls and guys stare (for different reasons hopefully) you can’t help but feel confident.
Confidence Booster #2 – Do Affirmations
I know they sound cheesy and the way they’re often portrayed seems like a buch of hippy-dippy nonsense but affirmations when done right can actually be very powerful and result in a much better mindset. Which is why I recommend them in my book Mind Is The Master. To do affirmations right it’s not just about how many times you repeat a phrase (though repitition is important) it’s more about getting yourself to believe that phrase and drumming up emotions. The best way to do this is before bed look in the mirror and say your affirmations ten times, each time trying to make your emotions more intense and truly believe what you are saying.
Confidence Booster #3 – Learn A Skill
A large part of confidence comes from compentency. Learning a skill is a great way to expand your confidence overall as well as with a certain subject. When you learn something you didn’t before you get more confidence in yourself and more confidence that you’ll be able to face challenges ahead. For example learning how to do basic repairs around the house allows you confidence to start working on other projects and doing other things. It gives you confidence to branch out and try new things, which eventually causes a positive feedback loop.
Confidence Booster #4 – Read A Book About Confidence
I know people like to bash on reading, especially when it gets in the way of action and they have a point. But frankly with the vast majority of the population not reading anything other than romance novels or magazines I don’t think now is the time to be bashing reading. Confidence comes from knowledge. The more knowledge you have about something that more confident you’ll be in that arena. For example reading a book about painting will make you much more confident when you have a blank canvas set before you. So find a good book about confidence and soak it in.
Confidence Booster #5 – Face A Fear
Exposure therapy is about the only kind of therapy that I actually believe in and think does a damn thing. Facing your fears is an important part of life and an important part of building up and boosting your confidence. You want to start with something small and then work up from there. For example if you’re scared to ask a girl out that you haven’t met before start by chatting up random girls and then work your way to asking a girl out. And then progress from there. Start small but stay consistent when facing fears and your confidence will grow naturally.
Confidence Booster #6 – Accomplish A Goal
Confidence also stems from a sense of accomplishment. Which is why things like participation trophies don’t but confidence but rather simply foster a sense of entitlement. Confidence comes from accomplishing something, from doing something. It can’t be artificially built up through meaningless rewards. When you have a goal and you set out and accomplish it you are going to get a boost to your confidence. I write down little goals I want to accomplish every day and then one big goal I want to have accomplished by the end of the week. Try that and watch your confidence grow.
Confidence Booster #7 – Learn How To Fight
We live in a violent and unpredictable world. At any time any of us could be a victim of violence if we are not prepared. Living in a nice area or a gated community is not enough to protect people. You need to take manners into your own hand and learn how to defend yourself. Whether it’s an effective martial art or the basics of safely carrying where legal learn to defend yourself so you will never be a victim. You’ll have confidence while out in the world and not have to worry about threats that can’t be handled.
Confidence Booster #8 – Dress Nice
Again something that everyone knows is good yet so few do. Putting some effort into your wardrobe helps you stand out and changes how others percieve you. Doing something like wearing a suit will completely change how others treat you and view you. Not saying you have to wear a suit everywhere, but simply taking time to look clean, crisp, and nice will improve your confidence and improve the way others see you. We are always (and I repeat always) judging a book by its cover. So make sure that your cover your showing to the world is always nice.
Confidence Booster #9 – Have A Positive Attitude
People underestimate the power of a positive attitude, either that or they think it’s all woo woo nonsense. But truth is people who have a truly positive attitude are the ones who are the most successful. The realistic optimists are the ones who get what they want and achieve their goals. The whiners, cry babies, and losers will always be just that, they’ll never go anywhere and blame anything and everything but themselves for not getting what they want. Drop the negative loser attitude replace it with a positive one and confidence will naturally follow.
Confidence Booster #10 – Look People In The Eyes
This is something that used to be common knowledge and was taught to every child. You need to be looking people in the eyes. When you look someone in their eyes it says a lot about you and improves your confidence. It takes a certain strength to look someone in their eyes seeing them for who they are and exposing yourself in the process. Practice with friends and family first if it makes you uncomfortable but then practice looking everyone in their eyes, it’s very powerful.
Summary
So there we have ten of the most effective ways to boost your confidence. Confidence is very important for men and something that every man could use a little more of. Look through these ten ways to boost your confidence and see which ones stand out to you. If you’re a bit overwhelmed I’d recommend starting with getting in shape, dressing nice, and writing down goals that you want to accomplish daily and weekly. That’ll be enough to get you started in the right direction and get you on the path to increased confidence and a better life because of it.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.
-Charles Sledge
Confidence comes from accomplishments and failures.
Very true.
Charles can you share your views about the topic of spirituality,praying and meditation for man?I can tell that there is a lack of spirituality in the west..One thing that amazes me about islam is how spiritual their people are and the strenght they get from their religion.They are fearless.
Very important but very personal. It’s something you have to do yourself. Think religions as a whole are great for social control/brainwashing (depending on who’s in control) but fail as far as personal spirituality is concerned.
This doesn’t mean I’m a fan of that hippy B.S. where everything’s equal and all religions are grasping as a part of the truth nonsense. Etc.
I can’t explain it. Some parts of Chrisitianity and Odinism/Germanic Paganism are the closest I can think of but that’s not doing it justice. Like I said it’s a very personal thing.