You Must First Help Yourself Before You Can Help Others

You Must First Help Yourself Before You Can Help Others by Charles Sledge.com

Helping others can be a noble goal depending on the intent. It can also be foolish and stupid as well. Helping others who hate you makes you an idiot likewise failing to help your brothers makes you a coward. It all depends on a variety of factors. But the intelligence of helping others is not what this article is about. This article is about how even if you’re overarching goal to help others and change their lives, you still have to start by putting yourself first.

Put another way for you to be effective you must first help yourself before you help others. Otherwise it’ll be the classic case of the blind leading the blind. In order to give value and help others you must in the first place have value to give. Even if a poor man wants with all his heart to help his poor brothers become rich he can’t do them any good. Other than support which at the end of day doesn’t count for much as a man should find his own inner support anyways.

Regardless Of Your Intentions You Must Come First

Regardless if you don’t give a damn about anyone around you and want the best for yourself or if you want to help everyone around you and you want the best for yourself you have to put yourself first. You can’t help others from a place of weakness it just isn’t possible. No matter how good your intentions are (which we know don’t count for shit) if you operating from a place of weakness then you’re not going to do anyone any good. You have to take care of yourself first before you can help others.

So no matter what way you slice it you have to come first. You must always put yourself first in life (for more reasons then I’m laying out here). Put your development first. It’s like when you’re flying on an airplane and those bags drop down. They always tell you to put yours on first before helping others. Even if you’re flying with your children you put yours on first because if you go unconscious then you’ll be no good helping your children anyways. You have to take care of yourself before you’ll be any good to anyone else.


It all comes down to strength (doesn’t it always?). If you’re not strong you cannot help the weak, plain and simple. If you son is dying of some rare form of disease and you don’t have the money to pay for it or the sales skills to get others to pay for it then you’re son will die. Was it because of lack of care or love? No, of course not. It was because of a lack of strength in this case. Strength with money in particular. You couldn’t help your son because you weren’t strong enough.

Likewise if your brother got jumped and has three men beating on him and you have no idea of how to fight you’re not going to be much use to him. Everything in life is predicated on strength. Strength is the ultimate (and perhaps only true) virtue. Without strength nothing matters. Likewise what good are you going to be to someone struggling with money, women, or something else. If you yourself haven’t mastered that very same thing? No good that’s what. You must be something to help someone. Those without power cannot do anything, anything for themselves, or anything for others. Start with yourself and then once you’ve built up you can lead others.

Constant Improvement

So we come back to a common theme of this blog. You must constantly improve and grow every day of your life. It doesn’t matter if you want to conquer the world or save it your usefulness to it is in direct correlation to your strength. And strength is only developed through constant improvement. If you’re focused on helping someone but are weak you are doing both the person you are trying to help and yourself a disservice. Focus on conquering your own weaknesses and then once you’ve turned your weaknesses into strengths you can then show others the path.

A weak man can help no one. A strong can man can help (or destroy) all. No matter what you want in this life it all starts with strength and power. Everything else is secondary. Including love, care, morality, and intentions. You must become a king to make a dent for better or for worse. The sooner you get this the more good you will be able to do and the more freedom you will have. Which after all are the point to have freedom to what you want to do.


No matter how badly you want to help others or how noble or pure your intentions are you aren’t going to be of any use to anyone until you take care of yourself first. Put yourself first always. Goodness in and of itself does nothing. Only goodness (or anything else) backed by power and strength can accomplish anything. The spectators just get killed while the hero and the villain fight. No matter how good their intentions were or how much they wanted to help. Be strong, take care of yourself, and then and only then can you truly help others.

If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.

-Charles Sledge



Charles Sledge

  • Johnny Grube

    Quick story, my son was walking home from a graduation
    party, and was jumped by three black guys, in our city, an
    all white city.

    He fought out of the situation, made it to home base, I said
    jump in the car, I went looking for 3 black dudes, told my son,
    18 at the time to wait in the car, I started walking up and down
    the street walking through crowds of people looking for pay
    back, I never found them.

    I would have never done that if I wasn’t capable in a big way!

    • Shit like that pisses me off. Had about the exact same thing happen to friend of mine. Fucking limp dicked cowards only attack in great numbers. Too bad you didn’t find them.