This is a guest post by Rainbow Albrecht. He runs a blog at Rainbowalbrecht where he covers topics relating to masculine self-development as well as chronicling his writing projects. You can buy his books on Amazon here. One in particular that is relevant to this article is his most recent book Righteous Seduction which covers seduction advice for “nerds, unappreciated nice guys, and captives of the friend zone”. Enjoy.
I’m a bit unenthusiastic about the reductive personality dichotomy classifying men as alphas and betas. Still, the concept does have validity, taken with the right qualifications. About 20% of the men are “haves”, and the others are “have-nots” in the social arena. At the left side of the bell curve is a worse-off category of have-nots, the “omegas”. This describes someone basically at the very bottom of the pecking order, also known as “below average frustrated chumps”. An omega doesn’t have a green tentacle growing out of his head, but others basically act like he does. The Japanese call them “herbivores” or “hikkikomori”. The English language has a number of unkind terms for them: dweebs, dorks, basement dwellers, etc. A beta might well be able to get a girlfriend every now and then, but it’s pretty much a labor of Hercules for an omega to do so.
One of the good things the Manosphere does is helping men improve themselves generally, and their love lives specifically. The information we’ve made accessible has run into quite a bit of resistance. Supposedly, men naturally good with women are awesome and rightly popular; but those who study this are using forbidden sorcery (often followed by lots of ignorant descriptors about their character). These naysayers have no solutions, other than people should stay in the place chosen for them on the totem pole. We, on the other hand, have made the truth available to those who seek it and can stomach the uncomfortable realizations and challenges to one’s previous view of how the world works. That’s what taking the Red Pill is all about.
Courting and the Sexual Market
Humans have the most complex courtship ritual of any species; not knowing the rules of the game means you lose. The information edge is one huge factor in whether someone is a “have” or a “have-not” in the social arena; that is, if you know these things you’re not “allowed” to study! Although some guys might be relatively advantaged from the start by good looks, being born into wealth, etc., the truth is that young guys all start out adolescence being awkward, making mistakes we’ll cringe about years later, and basically knowing squat about how to attract girls. Some of us are keen observers and pick up information quickly, others have early successes and build on them, and a lucky few have someone to show us the ropes. As for the others, years of no success lead to lack of confidence, Approach Anxiety, and so forth. Where did things go wrong? Today’s toxic social environment doesn’t help. Worse, most guys are stuck with loads of misinformation: conventional dating advice that became obsolete following the Sexual Revolution, Hollywood tropes that fail in the real world, and advice from women which (to put it kindly) is pretty spotty. In fact, much of the misinformation gives you a one-way express ticket to the Friend Zone. Where else can a young guy turn to for advice? Most of his peers are just as clueless as he is. If he listens to the advertising industry, he’ll just hear “buy our shoes, designer clothes, watches, cars, etc. and you’ll be a babe magnet.” Fashion helps somewhat, but none of those things is really the golden ticket. To a large degree, the betas are in a disadvantaged status because of lack of correct knowledge. They’re not really second-rate men; rather, they’ve been told that supplication (kissing ass) works, they’re not allowed to start conversations (“street harassment”), they can win someone’s heart only after a long courtship, “just be yourself” (awesome advice if you’re already a rock star), etc. As for the omegas, they went further: they took the Blue Pill and washed it down with a big glass of Kool-Aid.
Sexual market value follows economic laws. The relative SMV of men to women fluctuates over time, similar to currency exchange rates, both societally per decade and individually during their lives. Eventually, many betas make observations about the way of the world and start rejecting the baloney they’ve been fed, eventually get some successes and discover what works, or get clued in either by a friend, the seduction community, or the broader Manosphere. Eventually they get better. These are basically the same processes that those called “naturals” benefited from early on. Also, men tend to increase their status and accomplishment over time, while eventually young women mature and come down to earth (“hit the wall”, to put it slightly unkindly). So in the end, the betas have their day, though unfortunately after a long stretch of deprivation as young men, during which time the young women were living it up. For the omegas, though, the climb from the abyss is a much steeper one, and some of them just don’t get out.
Changes in Society and Their Ramifications
Things are tougher for young guys than ever. I can tell you from personal experience that it certainly was no walk in the park back in the ’80s – to put it mildly – but things have declined further. For a few examples:
- Feminism is just as nutty as it was in the ’60s and ’70s, but now it’s more culturally entrenched than ever and backed by the law. For just one example, flirting at the workplace can get you fired or sued.
- There are more broken homes these days, and it’s hard for a boy to have positive male role models in a fatherless family, among other distressing effects of course.
- Ironically, social media has made us less social.
- Cyber-porn has become very pervasive, and the effects on young minds can be pretty disturbing. The least bad effect is that it reduces motivation for young guys to go out, learn valuable social skills, and find a girlfriend.
It’s hardly a surprise that today’s society is producing quite a few omegas!
What happens to omegas who never dig themselves out of a rut?
- Some sink into a well of depression, or even kill themselves. This may partially explain why the suicide rate for American males is four times the rate of females. This is very appalling.
- A few even “go postal”. Spree shooters never have happy love lives. Even the terrorists are doing it because they bought into the “seventy virgins” fairy tale.
- After years of rejection, some omegas defect to the gay community, much like guys with long prison sentences who also have no other options.
- Going further, others will question their masculinity and jump on the transgender fad. This is an increasing trend, now that it’s aggressively pushed in the education system and the media these days.
- Some become “Social Justice Warriors“, or join another cult where they feel acceptance.
- A great many turn to that new safety valve of cyber-porn. That’s a lousy way to learn to interact with women, either in or out of the bedroom. Porn induced ED is starting to become an epidemic. This probably falls short of the top ten reasons why society is going to hell in a handbasket, but still, it’s not a good trend.
Advice for Omegas
The omegas need to be told the following:
- If you get constructive criticism, take it in the spirit in which it’s meant and give it due consideration rather than resisting it. Rather than getting defensive, keep an open mind.
- Where needed, you must butch up, grow a pair, and pull your head out of your ass. That sounds harsh, but I can’t think of any more diplomatic way to put it. You can’t make progress if you’re stuck in a self-defeating state of mind. Get out of that rut. Life might suck now, but it doesn’t always have to be that way.
- Have as little as possible to do with people who don’t give you basic respect. That might mean looking for a new job, changing your social circle if your “friends” suck, or perhaps even moving to another city if you’re stuck someplace where you’re regarded as the local butt monkey. Getting a fresh start is easier than fixing a ruined reputation.
- Keep improving yourself: appearance, knowledge, physical condition, career, etc. Either you’re progressing or stagnating; what’s better?
- Cut way back on time-wasting pursuits like television, video games, and porn. This frees up more time for things like self-improvement, reading mind-expanding classic literature, or finding a girlfriend.
- As the Japanese say, “The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.” I would add that there are good ways and bad ways to stand out; know the difference.
- Get out there and socialize. Just freaking do it.
- Learn some game. Don’t let others decide what you’re “allowed” to study.
The last item a very broad subject, of course. To anyone suffering from involuntary celibacy – and it certainly is a form of suffering – I would advise the following. First, curing Approach Anxiety is essential; it’s impossible to get anywhere if you’re afraid to talk to someone. After that, work on having interesting free-form conversations. Then study other fundamentals such as discerning IOIs and IODs, handling Shit Tests and Bitch Shields, and so forth. Developing your Inner Game is also essential: for starters, building confidence, cultivating abundance mentality, and avoiding self-limiting beliefs. Learn about the Friend Zone scam and how to steer clear of it. Read up on why supplication is bad; all those RomComs lied to you. Finally, remember that learning theory is all well and good, but it won’t get you anywhere until you start putting it into practice. I wrote a book on all that. If you don’t like mine, I won’t be upset if you find another good one.
Let’s do our part to get the correct information out there. The omega males are an under-served community. Society isn’t doing much to help them; not to put too fine a point on it, society took a giant crap on them! If anybody is going to help get them out of their rut, it’s going to be us. Some will say “That’s not my problem.” (As I write this, I can imagine the dismissive braying already. Come on, guys, not all of us were always social butterflies.) Even so, there are pragmatic reasons to help enlighten our fellow men, when we can. For starters, depression, suicide, and spree shootings are a very bad thing. (One could certainly argue that learning game saves lives!) Also, the more the transgender fad catches on with the omegas, the greater the likelihood you’ll run into a dude wearing a dress and trying to hook up with you. Moreover, the fewer recruits there are for the Social Justice Weenies, the better. Finally, alleviating misery and helping our brothers out is a good thing. If we want to change society, we have to enlighten the public one individual at a time. You probably know a few omegas, as well as struggling betas. Some won’t be ready to accept the truth, but for others, it can change their lives. This doesn’t mean you have to take on their problems as your own or anything like that, nor should you. Just knowing that someone out there gives a damn and understands where they’re coming from is a first step that can make a world of difference individually. Don’t be afraid to reach out.
Enjoyed the post? Wish to write one of your own? Check out the form here and let me know. I’m always looking to promote good sites to my readers.
