According to an article I’m looking at from the Food Network in order to make apple pie you need flour, sugar, fine salt, butter, eggs, lemon juice, golden delicious apples (good marketing name by the way sounds way more appetizing than “granny smith”), nutmeg, and cinnamon. And of course something to bake it in. Those are all the ingredients and requirements to make an apple pie. Now why on earth am I bringing this up?
Well when you look at the ingredients to something you can better break it down into its individual components and get a “deeper understanding” of that thing. Now with apple pie you’re not going to find any grand revelations of course but when applied to other subjects and things you may be surprised by what you find and what you learn. For example what are the ingredients to masculinity?
Well obviously first and foremost we need a large serving of testosterone, the more the better (well to an extent). After all it is testosterone that makes men men, but to say it’s testosterone alone is a bit short sighted and foolish. Testosterone is the fertile soil so to speak yet if nothing is planted in that soil and the conditions for growth are not right then not much is going to come up you need more than just that.
For example a college kid on test is going to have more testosterone than say a combat soldier and yet does that mean the college kid is going to be more masculine than the soldier? Is he going to be more decisive, courageous, determined, dominant, and so on and so forth? Of course not so saying it’s testosterone alone is foolish.
The Making Of A Man
So we’ve established that while testosterone is a huge component of making a man it is not the only thing. There is something more that is needed. To take what testosterone has to offer and bring it into the fullness of being a man. So what is this special something? Is it guidance by older, stronger, and more wisened men? Is it initiation into a tribe or gang or some sort? Is is to overcome some great test and thus “prove himself”?
Well while all of those things are important and certainly part of this I think it’s something more than just that as well. Though again all of those play a role and help to shape a boy into a man or a male into a man. But in and of themselves are not enough. There needs to be something a little more, or in some cases a lot of more. But the issue with these things is that they’re not permanent or put another way they’re temporary.
We’ve all seen/know/were the guy that could kick ass straight out a boot camp but is now a sad sack of lard who’s wife can’t stand the sight of. Or the college quarterback who never made it to the next level yet was the pride of his school and drowning in the adulation of the crowd and panties of the finest girls on campus. Who now doesn’t recognize himself in the mirror when he goes to sell used cars to unsuspecting victims.
But why does this happen? These people often got initiated into a gang/tribe, were led and instructed by older/wiser/stronger men, and fought great battles and yet a short time later are sad parodies of what they used to be. Their masculinity atrophied, dried up, and died. Because they lacked this in their lives.
The MiracleGrow Of Masculinity
Every guy wants to be “The Man”, every guy even the pencil necked “feminist ally” deep down wants to be the alpha, the stud, the hero, the warrior, the king, the badass, and so on and so forth. Everyone wants to be at the top yet no one wants to get their hands dirty and put in the work required to get there. Or even if they do they don’t know what the path is. Well as far as masculinity is concerned I’m about to tell you. So what is the Miraclegrow of masculinity?
Well there are two parts the first is purposeful and the second is pain, suffering, and discomfort. Meaning to be a man you must go through (daily preferably) times of purposeful pain/suffering/discomfort. For many this is the gym, for others fighting, for others work provides this (though rarer and rarer). Now this doesn’t mean that the mental suffering and boredrom of say the daily office grind will make you more of a man there are only certain types of purposeful pain/suffering/discomfort that will do this.
My advice is to start with the physical and work from there. Also purposeful is key here. Sticking your dick in a frying pan will not make you more of a man though obviously it’ll cause all sorts of pain, suffering, and discomfort on a record scale. Remember it’s purposeful suffering, pain, and discomfort and then only certain kinds. Hard work and discipline is the best starting point. Cold showers, getting to the gym, going for an early morning run, keeping to a set schedule, fighting (talking like boxing or something not decking dudes on the street), and the like are all good starting points.
The important thing is you get the main idea and the core key concept. Which is purposeful suffering, pain, and discomfort produce and maintain masculinity. The more masculine you want to be the more of purposeful pain, suffering, and discomfort you’ll have to introduce into your life without breaking down.
Want To Be “The Man”, Now You Know How
And it isn’t easy or fun. It’s hard work and unpleasant hard work. But it’s what’s required to become the man that you want to be. If you want to be the badass, the stud, the king, aka “The Man” then you have to put in the work and introduce as much purposeful discomfort, pain, and suffering into your life as possible. Start small or start large but just be sure to start, that’s the most important thing.
With lack of purposeful suffering, pain, and discomfort your masculinity (not to mention mind, body, and spirit) will begin to atrophy. Just like muscles do when they are not worked. So now you know what you need to do, so do it.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.
-Charles Sledge
