Many males feel lost and disconnected. They feel lost and disconnected from their families. Lost and disconnected from their culture and nation. Lost and disconnected from their peers and others around them. Lost and disconnected from themselves. We live in an age of atomization. All of us are being sliced and diced to smaller and smaller fragments. Humans were never meant to live this way and when they do they end up suffering for it. Like a fish trying to live out of water.
Except humans often don’t experience physical death from living in these ways (though that can happen) it’s spiritual and mental death that is the result which leads to all sorts of things. Depression, addiction, numbness, even suicide. They are disconnected from the source, they are disconnected from themselves, they are disconnected from life itself. Man is a mammal not a robot. Man was meant to live connected and filled with life. But this isn’t happening and it isn’t happening across the board.
It’s not just the uber rich or the uber poor or the middle class. It affects all layers of society from top to bottom. There are many solutions offered to those suffering. Join a political cause, hit the gym, or the ever popular consume more products. Of those three the gym is the only one that will provide any benefit what-so-ever but it’s not enough in and of itself to fill this hole or to ignite the spark that needs to be ignited.
Uniqueness & The Soul
None of us are special yet we’re all special in a way. While I’m against thinking your special just because you exist at the same time it’s wise to understand that humans are all different, with different souls, and different things that are going to fulfill those souls. What gives meaning to one person may not give meaning to the next. Or even if it does it’ll do so in a different way or through a different method. We are all unique and we all unique souls. And therefore while our paths may be similar they are all going to be unique as well.
There is no “one step method” or one path to figure out how to fill that hole in your soul, in the center of your being. It’s a combination of things, it’s a path you’ll have to figure out for yourself but can learn from others along the way as well. As a matter of fact you’ll never make it if you don’t learn from others. But you have to take the path yourself. Because no one knows you like you do and no one is going to be able to do this for you. But they can help along the way.
Many people believe that fulfilling this hole is about finding themselves. About finding who they are and so go on on quests to “find themselves”. Sometimes this is an excuse to party and rack up the mileage so to speak but even when sincere there are still a couple of problems with this. First off we need to understand what “finding oneself” is, after all how can you lose “yourself” in the first place? And why do you have to go places to find yourself? How could you find yourself places you’ve never been?
Start With Finding Yourself
Many people believe that all you have to do is “find yourself” and then you’ll be good. You’ll be happy, solid, and live the life that you want. But this isn’t true either. Truth be told “finding yourself” is a very small part of all of this. To actually find yourself means finding out what makes you tick, separated from society, parents, and beliefs around you. Finding out what you believe on your own. However when it comes to development and life as a whole this is a small part of the process. This is the starting point of the journey not the end.
But it is important, though it won’t fulfill you. You should take time to “find yourself” to see what holds true for you and what you believe without the confines of society, parenting, religion, culture, or their opposites. See most to “find themselves” just become the opposite of their parent/society/religion which isn’t finding oneself at all. It’s becoming a member of a herd, just a different, often dumber, one. Nothing more and nothing less. You have to find out what’s true for yourself.
What you actually believe and more important than that, why you believe the things you believe. You want to hone in on the “whys” in your life. Figure out why you do the things you do, why you’re pursuing the things you’re pursuing, and why you believe the things that you believe. Dig down deep and find the why. That is finding yourself and it’s a crucial part of development and life as a whole. But it’s not the end game and it won’t fulfill that hole in your soul that we’ve been talking about.
Life Isn’t About Finding Yourself But Rather About…
Building and creating yourself each and every day. That’s where the fulfillment comes from, that’s where the hole gets filled. Not through finding yourself, which is a needed but a relatively “simple” process. You know the base of who you are. That’s great. It’s essential, but it’s just the beginning. It’s the starting orientation. It’s the blueprint. Now comes to work of running the race, building the building, or winning the war. Whatever analogy you want to use.
You create yourself each and every day by the actions that you take. Not by the words that you say or the thoughts that you think but by the actions that you take. The things that you actually do. Acta non verba. That’s where the “magic” happens. On the road, the long journey, of building yourself. It’s often grueling and tiring work. And you have to do it day in and day out for years on years. But it’s rewarding and it’s worth it. You must fashion yourself into the man that you will become, it’s not going to happen on its own.
You can’t coast your way to success. You have to forge it. Go out and take it. Hunt it down and never let up. That’s the path that leads to fulfillment. A hard day’s work physically, mentally, and spiritually leads to good rest and a clear conscious. Dirty hands, clean soul as the saying goes. You have to throw yourself into all of this. Work hard, work smart, and never let up. Work each and every day to become who you were meant to be.
Create Fulfillment
You build fulfillment, you create it. Through the sweat of your own brow. Finding yourself orients you, nothing less and nothing more. Now obviously orientation is an important thing to learn but it’s just the start not the end. Once you’re oriented then you have to get going. Then you need to get working and get moving forward. You found out who you are, that’s great, but not much in the grand scheme. You have to create who you want to be, that’s where the real work comes in.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
