I want to imagine for a second that you are superman. You can’t be hurt by anything, you’re strong as can be, and lightning fast. You could walk into the hardest prison in the world and smack every guy in the face and be absolutely fine. I want you to imagine how this would transfer to other areas of your life. Do you think you would have any problem asking a girl out? Asking for a raise? Walking around with your head held high and like you’re king of the world? Call out people who are annoying you? Put someone down who steps up to you? And so on and so forth?
Of course this would all come naturally and be easy. After all you’d be superman. Now obviously you can’t be superman but it’s the overall point that I want to make. Now plenty of people say that confidence is all about just making yourself confident and believing in yourself and this is certainly part of it. No one can deny this and in a threat free environment this is very true. For example say you’re a rich kid at daddy’s social event. You can be as confident as you want to be because you’re in a threat free environment. However in the real world confidence works a little differently than that.
Violence & Confidence
Where I grew up words had consequences. A couple words throw could end up with having the bottom half of a beer bottle grinded into your face. Those who walked around with confidence did so because they could throw and defend themselves. They spoke their minds and did what they wanted because they could “back it up”. As a matter of fact in a high to medium threat environment (most places in the world) your confidence is going to stem from this being able to back it up. Sure believing is nice and all but it’s much better to have real actual confidence based on your proficiency with violence behind it.
Barring mental issues your confidence stems from your proficiency with violence. And so much in life is based on your confidence (makes you attractive to women, gets you jobs, gets other men to respect and follow you, so on and so forth). Like the superman example above think of all the gobs of confidence you’d have. Now I’m not saying to be an idiot and get cocky of course because that can lead to some bad places and true deep confidence (that can only come from proficiency with violence) is addictive. Essential and great to develop but be careful to not let your dick outgrow your head if you know what I mean.
Can You Back It Up?
When you can back up what you say there is so much more power to it. This is often noticed through things like body language, posture, and of course the eyes never lie. It’s hard to explain this unless you’ve seen it firsthand or even better experienced it yourself. The difference between someone who is posturing (a paper tiger) and someone who is an actual tiger is huge and something others pick up on. Also say you’re in a low threat environment and you combine proficiency with violence with believing in yourself and you’ll be head and shoulders above the ones who only do the latter.
Fuck writing affirmations to build your confidence instead get into the ring or on the mat and start fighting. Shedding some sweat and blood and taking some hits will do more for your development and confidence than anything else. Remember motion often beats meditation. You should be fighting anyways as it’s a core function of being a man and why it plays such a huge role in every facet of our lives as men (our confidence, respect from other men, success with women, and more).
Get Fighting, Get Confident
Obviously this can be abused so like I said don’t be stupid with it. Real, deep, and true confidence from fighting is addictive and a great and essential asset to have. However don’t run out and start slapping random bikers because you feel won a couple sparring matches. Make use of it for sure, just don’t be stupid. Same with everything in life. This might also explain why if you’ve been trying to gain confidence through other means it just hasn’t been making that big of a difference. As a man your proficiency with violence is going to be the base core of your confidence in many ways.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.
-Charles Sledge
