I’ve seen a lot of complaints about the lack of masculinity in modern Western culture, especially in the men’s self-improvement sphere. There are many complaints as complaining is easy to do but few workable solutions. Sure you have all sorts of guys looking to capitalize it. “Become a real man” in three easy payments of 39.99 and such but those looking to simply profit off the lack of masculinity without addressing it aren’t doing much of any good. We have to look deeper than that.
We have to look to culture, to society, and to what, honestly, a single man could possible do which such complex and large factors working against him. I know one thing, complaining won’t do a damn thing and in my opinion is something that a man should keep to an absolute minimum. Address the problems of course, call them out, point them out, but once that’s done don’t sit and wallow but keep moving towards solutions. That’s how progress happens and that’s how people move forward.
So let’s look at a few reasons for the lack of masculinity in today’s culture. A cursory look as this topic could easily take up a large book, and perhaps that’s a project I’ll take on at some point. But for now we’ll cover the basics and some things that stand out. Then after identifying some causes we’ll look at solutions and what can be done. Even by a single man.
But with that said realize that being a single man, meaning one person, is always a limiting factor. Humans work in tribes, a single man is like a lone wolf. The strength of man, like the strength of the wolf, lies in the pack, in the tribe. Even the most formidable man in the world in mind, body, and spirit could be defeated by three average men in just about any course in life. Man was not meant to be alone, forge bonds, forge communities.
But that’s a topic for another time. Back to the lack of masculinity in the culture.
Causes Of Lack Of Masculinity In Modern Culture
Again we’re not going to be able to cover everything here but we will address a few critical things. The first thing to address would be testosterone. Testosterone levels are plummeting across the board and as testosterone is the hormone that makes one a man it makes sense to pay attention to this. Much has been made of this and many offer different, sometimes costly, sometimes ineffective, solutions. However it takes more than a pill to bring hormonal function back properly. But its essential. Next we need to look at what forge masculinity is made in, what factor takes a boy into a man.
And in a word that is “suffering” I don’t mean suffering as in cruel torture or abuse. Like stress there’s “good suffering” and “bad suffering” which essentially means suffering that brings about good things and suffering that brings about bad things. For example working dawn to dusk on your own family farm to bring about the life you want is hard ass work, plenty of “suffering” but it’s good suffering because it brings about a good thing both physically and mentally and spiritually. Whereas say being beat as a child is suffering but is bad suffering. And yes, there are those that can turn bad suffering into beautiful things but bad suffering obviously is never sough nor should be encouraged.
A third suffering is the lack of masculine influence from fathers, other older male influence, and tribal “pressure groups” groups that hold one another accountable. That hold each other to the fire, to the grind, iron sharpens iron, or whatever analogy you want to use. There are myriad other factors beyond this but these are the ones that we are going to be focusing for this essay. As they’re certainly big parts of why our culture is the way it is.
Now that we’ve identified some problems let’s look at remedies.
Solutions To Some Primary Causes Of The Lack Of Masculinity In Modern Culture
We’ll start with hormones as without proper hormone balance there is no such thing as what we call “masculinity” no more care you grow a pine tree on salted earth can you grow masculinity in a male bereft of testosterone and proper hormone functioning. And there are three big controllable factors when it comes to proper hormonal functioning. That is diet, sleep, and exercise. Sleep is simply get as much quality sleep as you can. In a darkened cooled room, invest in a good mattress, fans perhaps, and black out curtains. Exercise can be many different things. Find what suits you hiking, MMA fighting, walking, swimming, gymnastics, whatever. Just get your body moving.
But diet is the largest factor for this. The modern recommendations for diet essentially castrate males. Both from what is recommended and all the poisons and such added or contained within modern food. First off you need good sources food. Filtered water, meat from animals that were raised naturally, fruits and vegetables without pesticides grow on nutrient rich soil and the like. But it goes beyond that. You want to eat plenty of fats, especially saturated fats.
Organ meats, eggs, real milk, butter, and the like. Eat fermented cruciferous vegetables, sauerkraut is a favorite of mine. That is the best thing you can do for natural hormone functioning. Diet, exercise, sleep, there is more to the story but this is the best start that I can cover here. Get good sleep, eat good food, and get good exercise. Would also recommend meditation or time spent in nature to help destress as chronic stress wrecks the hormones.
Next we have suffering, at least good suffering. In our over mothered, over protected society we have males who are never exposed to good suffering, AKA hardship and therefore never develop masculinity or character because of it. They are hidden away and sheltered from everything, never knowing good pain or the good fruits that pushing through and pushing on provides. We all need good suffering in our lives. For some in might be found in the toiling of the field, for others in the cage or ring, for others in starting a new business. We all need challenge, and we all need struggle, and we all need good suffering.
Sports are a great avenue for this. Personally I think everyone, especially the young, should be required to be in a sport of one sort or another. The benefits that it provides are too many to list here and go far beyond the physical benefits. Find a place to struggle and make sure your children have good suffering in their lives. Key word there is good suffering, not bad suffering. So things like working hard, struggling for a worthy goal, not quitting, and sticking with things when they get tough. Stuff of that nature.
Next we come to masculine influence. Anywhere where male bonds can be forged is a tick in the right direction. This can be sports, religious groups, hobby groups, anything where men can meet together and forge relationships with one another. That’s the start. As for fathers the best thing you can do is be active in the life of your children as much as possible. It’s beyond sickening what the state has done to this and they do for it a reason. But for fathers who have access or availability do not squander it.
Even if you’re not a father maybe you’re a coach, a teacher, or have younger male siblings or cousins or whatever. No matter what you are an example for someone. Live your life in a way that is proper for your ancestors to look down upon. That will inspire respect and admiration in others. Be a living example of the things you value and hold to be true. Work everyday to bring your vision of life to life. Next we come to “pressure groups”.
Some examples of modern pressure groups would be boot camp, some sport teams, and to a lesser degree pledgeship in a fraternity in the American college system. There are places where boys are held to higher standards by others in the group and therefore accomplish and become more because of it. The examples I listed above is not an exhaustive list just some examples. I recommend finding a peer group, competing in a sport is a good way to do this. An accountability group is another good resource and a start.
Maybe start one if you can’t find one.
The Recovering Of Masculinity
Change starts with individuals. Change starts with you. That holds true on a personal level and on a society wide level. Follow the advice laid out will give you a decent start but then it’s up to you to take it further from there. It’s up to you to move the needle in the right direction. To shift things in the right direction, and that starts with you and then your house and then your neighborhood and then your community and then you can move on to your nation or other things. But it starts with you and it starts with your daily actions or lack thereof.
Fate is in your hands, make the most of it.
