When a guy has a lot of girls to choose from to date or hook up with that’s not because of a secret skill that is only taught in the most expensive PUA courses and camps, but rather because he has many things going on in his life and a basic understanding of male and female biology and psychology. If there’s one subject that people overcomplicate it’s “how to pick up girls/get a date” and everything that comes with that genre of advice.
Never has so much ink been spilled on a subject that is frankly, a byproduct of other things going on in life. I’ll admit that I’m just as guilty of this as well. I have over one hundred articles about “how to attract women” and there’s more that I could write. However when we really get down it, the biggest reason that most guys struggle with finding lots of dates is not because they don’t have “how to attract women” knowledge or “skills” but rather because of other factors.
Get these other things right and finding a date isn’t going to be a problem. Sort of like the old saying guys have lost plenty of money chasing girls but no guy has ever lost girls chasing money. While a bit cynical and not quite as true as some guys would like to believe there’s still a lot of wisdom to that saying. I want to dive into this subject a bit more because it’s still where the majority of traffic on the site comes from and something I think could be addressed.
It’s Not About “Picking Up Girls”
Aside from some rudimentary basics about male/female dynamics and biology/psychology there’s very little “skill” you need to know to attract women. It’s more about being something than performing a skill, does that make sense? Gurus convince men that they need a “skill” to attract women because if it’s a skill then they can sell you program after program after program about developing this skill and you’ll consider it a worthy investment and they’ll keep their business model running.
However attracting women is not so much about developing a “skill”, again unless you call just general social awareness a skill, as it is about embodying and being something. Most guys who are knee deep in affection from the opposite sex are not guys who have any idea what they’re doing. They’re just living their lives and girls are attracted to them. Meanwhile the guy who spends thousands on courses and the like, and works tirelessly to develop the “skills” of PUA struggles to bring home frumpy drunk girls from bars. Why is this? What makes the difference?
Well part of it is the first thing we talked about. Attracting women isn’t a skill, it’s a byproduct of other things, more than anything. Guys who play sports, don’t think too much, and have healthy hormones will attract more women than any guy who’s ever thought about attracting women ever will. Because the first guy is living life as a man while the second is trying to live life as a robot.
Gurus will tell you that “You’ll never be as good as a natural” AKA the first guy just living his life as a man and that’s because the gurus go about it all the wrong way, they use ineffective methodology and then tell you it’s just the nature of things that you get crap results. And they do this because if it actually worked they’d be out of business and you can’t make much money from telling a guy to “play sports, be normal, and eat good food.” you know?
Attracting Women Is A Byproduct Of Living Your Life As A Man
I’m not saying girls are going to fling themselves at you. You’ll still have to say hi, show interest, lead, and so on and so forth, at least for the most part. What I’m saying is that focus on your development as a man and attracting women isn’t going to be a problem. Learn the bare bones basics of male and female psychology and biology but beyond that it’s not really going to help you. Like with everything else, be a man, and everything else falls into place.
Make sure your hormones are functioning properly. Make sure you’re doing some form of exercise, eating your eggs, liver, and steaks, and getting good restful sleep. I’d recommend having something you compete in to keep your masculine edge. And then be a decent personable guy. Smile and say hi to people. Look them in the eyes. That’s more than enough to get you more date options then you have time for.
Stop complicating a simple process. Stop focusing on something that is a byproduct of living a healthy, normal, masculine life. Stop making things ten times harder on yourself just so some dork who knows nothing about attracting women can keep cashing in paychecks without getting a real job. Focus on yourself and your self development. Focus on your career and your dreams. Focus on yourself and living the best life possible, that’ll attract more and higher quality women than anything else.
Freedom From Neurosis
Most guys focus on “getting girls” so much its becomes a sort of neurosis and it’s ironic because focusing on getting girls so much is the exact thing that’ll drive them away. Do what I talked about above. Have things going on in your life, things you’re working on and working towards. Be healthy. Have basic social skills, smile, make eye contact. Do sports, be normal, eat good food. It’s really not rocket science and perhaps that’s the problem.
Most guys want to make it rocket science because “getting girls” is their reason for existing and after all your reason for existing should be something that’s life consuming. But getting girls isn’t it. Make a masterpiece of art, leave a great legacy, change the world around you, work on yourself. Those are things that’ll take time and effort, but getting girls is just a byproduct of being a healthy guy, at least in the biological sense.
So do that and stop worrying about “getting girls”, that’s when you’ll start having more dating options than ever before.
