Members Only Post #146 – Finding Your Arena

Without challenge a man stagnates, well actually that’s not true. A man doesn’t just stagnate but he regresses. As humans, as men we’re either always moving forward or backwards in life. We’re becoming something more or we’re stagnating and becoming less. It’s either up or down there is no standing still in life. Because of this a man has to have challenge, suffering, pain, and hardship in his life in the right amounts to keep himself sharp.

Now understand I’m not talking about getting in a car wreck, losing a loved one, being the victim of a mugging, and things of that nature. Not all pain and suffering is the same. There is pain and suffering that can be destructive and you’d wisely never wish on yourself and then there’s pain and suffering that is ennobling and you should seek out in the right amounts.

It’s sort of like the whole stress/eustress thing. Stress overall, especially in chronic high amounts is bad, Working for a lunatics boss, having a toxic partner in marriage, living a warzone, etc. etc. that’s not good for you at all. However other controlled stresses such as working out, taking a cold shower, going for a run, and things of that nature are good for you despite being momentarily stressful for the body.

So we’re looking for eu-pain and eu-suffering essentially.

The Goodness Of Pain & Suffering

Every man needs an arena to compete in, a place where he can go to test himself and see how he stand against other men also pursuing the same goal. A place that challenges him and forces him to become more, do more, and pushes him beyond what he would have ever been before. A place to experience controlled pain and suffering, the pain and suffering that will build you into a better man instead of destroy. The pain and suffering that’ll help you cope when the other kind of pain and suffering inevitably comes.

With the right kind of pain and suffering a man can forge himself into something greater, something beyond what he ever could have been before. Suffering is the basis of masculinity or at least the building of masculinity, you don’t overcome the right kind of hardship then you don’t build masculinity, it’s as simple as that. This is one of the biggest reasons why boot camp can be so transformative for so many. It subjects them to structured and beneficial pain and suffering that literally transforms who they are on the inside and the outside.

Without the gifts of pain and suffering we can never become more. The right kind of pain and suffering and ennobling to the soul, sharpen the mind, and harden the body. We must find a way to subject ourselves to the right kind of pain and suffering and find the arena that we will fight in, in the process.

Where Is Your Arena?

We all need to challenge ourselves and the best way to do this is to go head to head against others who are pursuing the same goals as you or against a force that is indifferent or hostile to you. Some example would be starting a business and working day and night to bring it to stability, profitability, and ahead of the competition. Artwork, it could be writing a novel and competing with other novelists in the marketplace and bringing it until your profitable or published.

It could be climbing a mountain and all of its indifference and hostility to man or spending two weeks in the woods with nothing but a backpack, again overcoming the indifference and potential hostility of nature. Or it could be climbing into a cage or ring and going toe to toe with another man that wants to beat you as badly as you want to beat him. Or it could be a combination of the above, though I wouldn’t recommend going hard in more than one arena at any given time.

Get stability in one then push the other. There are a myriad of ways to compete, to challenge oneself, and to experience that positive pain and suffering that will help forge you into the man that you want to be, a true man of steel. A man has been tried, tested, and hardened by the arena that you have chosen to step into. The arena that you chosen to test you and above that to drive you to be more and become more.

Which is an essential part of life.