A lot of people get caught up in the trap of bragging and always wanting to show everything they’ve accomplished, making sure that everyone knows everything they’ve done. It’s natural, when we do something it’s natural to want to brag about it, talk about it, and let everyone know. And this goes beyond accomplishments, but to many different parts of life.
However there is great utility to be found in hiding one’s “power level” in a variety of different situations. As men its natural that many of us want to be the “alpha” of a group or at least want to have mutual respect from a group. This is done in a variety of ways, demonstration of ability, fighting, talking, and a whole host of difference dominance games.
However once respect is earned it can often be beneficial to “hold back” on other things. It’d be like you were playing a game of war but you held the cards in your hand. The opponent places a 4 on the board and you have a 7, a 5, and a jack in your hand. You’d simply play the 5 instead of the jack.
Let’s talk about the utility of this.
Let People Be Surprised By You
People with layers and deepness to them take time to know and understand. Most people are all surface and there’s nothing there but when you work hard to cultivate skills, understanding, and a deepness about you, people can only learn about you bit by bit, which makes you more fascinating and intriguing. This makes people want to get to know you better and understand you more.
It’s okay to let people be surprised by you. Another way of putting it is you don’t have to show your entire hand right away. This is generally done when what you want seems just out of grasp or your desperate. Though in some situations like a job interview or first date you might hold back less than others. Still it’s always good to leave a little room for mystery and for “more” to be there.
This is helpful in just about any interaction with other people that’s going to happen on a consistent basis. Again not recommend for say a speech for life in general. Let people learn about you and be fascinated by you. Intrigued by you. Now it takes work to do this but you should be working on yourself and developing yourself anyways.
Less Of A Threat Means More Information
When you don’t put on airs and get sucked into the dick measuring game or always trying to one up everyone it also makes people trust you more. Partly because they don’t feel you’re a threat partly because it’s refreshing. But you can learn a lot this way, about people, about power struggles, and a whole lot more.
People see you as a confidant. I’m not saying this to necessarily get more information from people but just that when you do it you learn a whole lot more than someone who is constantly obsessed with winning a dominance game. I’m not saying don’t get respect, because that’s important, but once that’s there you can let off the gas pedal a bit.
And you’ll learn a whole lot more. Be privy to information that you otherwise wouldn’t have. Learn more about others, about the dynamics around you, and so much more. I’ve been the “fly on the wall” many times in various careers and its always worked to my benefit. Not that I was doing it in a manipulative way, it was just something I naturally did depending on the situation and saw benefits from.
There Are Times Its Better To Be Underestimated
It helps you to see who’s truly for you and who’s truly against you. When you hide your power those that care for you will still be by you and those that are against you will often come after you because they see you as a weak target. When you show your power only do enough to beat them or send a message no more. Don’t play the jack when they play the 4, play the 5, or if you want to make a statement then a 7.
But save the jack. Save the jack for when you really need it. I know this runs counter to a lot of advice like this but it’s good to be subtle from time to time. Take the path of lesser resistance and see what you learn from it. Not necessarily with life in general but with different social interactions it can be illuminating.
