Character. It more than just about anything else is what allows a society, or any group, to function. A family, a brotherhood, a tribe, a unit. Without trust, without character, none of these things are possible at any effective level. What is character? Character in another word is someone’s morality or moral sense. We say someone has character when more often than not they exhibit traits such as honesty, honor, kindness, and the like. Someone has character when they are the same in public as they are behind closed doors.
When they’re the same in front of you as they are behind your back. Character describes a moral solidness to a person. A person that’ll backstab you, betray you, and is not trustworthy is someone who has low character. Whereas someone who is honest with you, has your back, and is loyal is someone who has high character. Obviously it can encompass more than that but that’s the general gist of what I’m saying.
Now why is character important? Why is it so important to be able to identify who has low character and who has high character? The reason is that through life, as humans, we have to have relationships to get anything we want out of life. That applies to having a family, having a job, having friends, having an impact on the community, and much much more. Being able to vet for character is a fundamental life skill that no one should be without.
But how to do it?
How To Have Clear Vision When It Comes To People
We are all clouded by different things. We’ve all been in relationships that might have been obvious were not good, but we were blinded. This could have been a girlfriend or even a wife, or maybe it was with our mother, father, or both. Looking back we can smack our heads and say “What were we thinking?” and often this comes down to having clouded vision because of various different things. For the girlfriend it could be lust or loneliness. For the parents it could be dependence or closeness. Or a million other things.
We are always fighting between seeing things clearly and being clouded. But what makes the difference between these things? The first thing is learning to control ones emotions. Meditation, maturity, learning healthy outlets and expression of emotions. All of these things help. Experience in life and learning wisdom. Taking time to think. No one wants to think, for most it’s the hardest thing in the world. But sit back and force yourself to do it.
Look at your situation and ask yourself “why”, ask yourself “why did this workout?” and “why did this not workout?” look for patterns, look for reasoning, look for connections. Then test your hypothesis. What came of it? Were you right? Were you wrong? Something in-between? Learn to think and learn to take a step back and look at things. You do this with problems in life and it’ll naturally translate to people that you meet. You’ll take a look at them and your brain will scan “Is this truly a good person?” or “Is this person really a good fit?” and so on and so forth.
Like Attracts Like
Another thing I’ll mention with finding people of good character whether to be friends with, get a job with, or start a relationship with, is that like attracts like. If you’re of low character then don’t expect to attract someone of high character. It’s not that it doesn’t happen because it does, but rather that it makes it harder. Like attracts like. We get what we see in the world for the most part. We attract what we are. So again when looking to have changes in the world around you. Whether that’s change the people you attract or get a better job or improve any aspect of your life. You must first look within before looking without.
What I mean by that is that you must work on yourself first before you’ll start seeing changes around, at least big changes. See where you’re falling short and work on that. Strive to be better each and every day. That drive will keep you moving onwards and upwards. It’s the same with dating. I hear guys say they want a girl who is “X, Y, and Z” but do not exhibit the traits of X, Y, or Z themselves. For example they want a girl that’s super fit but aren’t fit at all themselves.
There are examples of that working, if there’s fame, money, or another factor worked in there, but overall X is going to attract X and Y, Y, and so on and so forth.
Actions Will Tell You All That You Need To Know
Talk is cheap. Anyone can say anything and it means nothing. What people say, says very little. However what they do will tell you everything that you need to know about them. Someone says “They got your back” or someone says “You can trust me” or someone says “I’ll help you move this weekend” none of it really means all that much. What matters is when they do or do not take the actions that prove they mean what they say. Again, talk is cheap. Actions are what define people.
When vetting someone’s character look at what actions they take and have taken. Because they’re very likely to continue taking those actions again and again. People change, but very rarely. Words, as far as judging character go, should go in one ear and out the other. Who cares? Anyone can say anything. Its actions that’ll tell you what you need to know about people. I’m not saying not to listen, just not to put much value on words spoken.
Vetting For Character
That’s the basics of it. Three things that’ll move you closer to vetting for character and understanding people. It’s not a fool proof system but nothing is. However it should give you some basics to help you out. As always thanks for reading.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
