We are on a never ending cycle as humans. Nature shows this all around us. The seasons, the years, even life and death itself. It’s all a cycle, a cycle that goes on and on and on and that we’re part of. There is no going back, only moving forward or stagnating. This is a blessing and in ways a curse. The quest to become the best man that you can be is similar to this. After all you can always become a better man, you can always do more, and you can always accomplish more. So where does this stop and where does this end? When does self-improvement and the quest for it become too much? And when is it too little?
And most importantly of all, how do we know where we’re at, and how do we know if we’re doing the “right amount” of it? Well truth be told, like most good questions in life, there is no single answer that is going to cover all peoples in all places and at all times. The answer to almost every question could rightfully be “it depends”, not because all things are relative, they are not, but because there are so many factors that go into what is right for one person compared to another that it’s impossible to cover with a simple answer.
So we have to dive into things, which luckily is exactly the point of these here articles that I write. So we’re going to look at how to make this journey of self-improvement that we’re all on the absolute best that it can be. So that we can get the most from it without it making us go crazy, overwhelming us, or even damaging our lives. There are certain principles that apply across the board that we can all learn from and harness so that we can live the best lives possible. Both for ourselves and for the world around us. So let’s dive in.
Clear Eyes, Clear Heart
The first thing we need to do is to make sure we’re not deceiving ourselves. This is a task that is extremely hard to do as humans. As humans we have egos that are always seeking to preserve themselves and come up with all sorts of nasty things like excuses, denial, and the like to do so. In order to live the best life possible and make sure we’re headed on the right path in the right way we need to make sure we’re not deceiving ourselves. Which is a multifaceted thing. First off we have to check our egos constantly. I love MMA for this reason, just about every day I’m shown I’m not as tough, fast, or whatever else as my ego thinks I am.
Competition, no matter what field, helps to keep you sharp and keep you in check. It helps to build self-esteem and confidence while as the same time curbing arrogance and egotism. Which are two things that are not easy to do. Meditation also helps with this, helps you to see things as they are and learn to work with that instead of denying it and pretending like the elephant isn’t in the room when it’s sitting on your chest. But there’s more to this.
You must be free of numbing agents as well. Numbing agents are anything you use to dull your senses to the world and the problems that you have in this world. Alcohol, weed, tobacco, junk food, and porn are some of the most common ones but there are many others. Only you will know if these are things that you are falling too or not. But the more that you can eliminate these things from your life the better off that you’re going to be. And the more clearly you will see your situation and what needs to be done for it.
What Are Your Goals?
The goals of a twenty three year old single male are going to be different than that of a forty year old, happily married, father of three. The goals of a father of three daughters will be different than that of three boys. A single man living in the city and a single man living in the country will have different goals. Because of this it’s hard to recommend a “one size fits all” for what the right self-improvement for you will look like. For example a single man in his twenties with only himself to think about should naturally be doing a little more while he has the time than a busy father of four and so on and so forth.
So therefore you have to ask yourself, what are your goals in life? Because if you don’t know that then you’ll never be able to know what the right plan for you is. We all have different goals in life and are of different temperaments and personalities. Even if we have identical goals we’ll often have slightly different ways of going about accomplishing them that are going to be right for us. But you have to have goals. And if you don’t have goals then the first thing you need to do is get some goals. Doesn’t matter if your goals change over time, that’s what growth is all about, but so long as you’re moving towards some goals then you’re on the right path.
But first determine what your goals are and then what the daily actions you’ll have to take to accomplish those goals. What does that look like? For example if you want to have your own bakery what do you have to do day by day to get there? What are the goals that need to be completed so that you can accomplish that? And what does that look like? Obviously you’ll have to be a somewhat competent baker, you’ll have to understand the legalities of opening a shop, search for locations, raise capital, and of course learn sales and marketing. So what does all of that look like on a day to day basis?
Pareto Principle Is Always Going To Help
But even with clear eyes and your goals figured out it can still be easy to get overwhelmed. After all every worthy goal is going to have a ton of moving parts as well as progressive parts that need to be addressed. What I’ve found is that there are few things in life that applying the Pareto Principle too won’t help. The pareto principle is the principle that 20% of your actions generate 80% of your results. It applies to other things as well for example on a sales force 20% of that force will generate 80% of profits. It comes from an economist who discovered that 20% of the population owned 80% of the wealth but again it goes beyond that.
So what you need to do on your journey of self-improvement is find the pareto actions that are going to help you the most. What are the 20% actions that are going to get 80% of the results when it comes to accomplishing your goals? Again this is going to depend on what your goals are. Success leaves clues. Look at those that are successful at what you want to do and keep looking. Look for commonalities between those that are successful. And keep looking, making connections, and recognizing patterns. Then adapt for yourself. Take what is useful and relevant and discard what is not, or at least put it aside to be looked at, at a later date.
And then find out how to balance all of this. Balance is a tricky thing and perhaps the hardest thing to do when we look at all of this. But it is also the most essential. Over time you will learn a natural balance. Just make sure to take time to check on things and balance between work, play, health, and relationships. Your health going south is usually a good indicator that something’s out of whack. Granted that you’re exercising, sleeping, and eating decent.
A lot to cover here but should help get you started on the right track and balancing self-improvement.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
