This is a guest post by Stefan Simonovic who runs multiple dating platforms and wants men to know all their is to know about attracting and keeping the women of their dreams. In this post Stefan talks about if he thinks extreme honesty would work with 21st century dating. Enjoy.
No extreme behaviour is ever a good idea, be it constructive or destructive. When it comes to relationships, moderation is key, although this is often easier said than done, especially when you’re head over heels in love with someone.
If you ask cougar women, they will probably say no to extreme honesty, but other girls, especially younger ones looking for everlasting love will not be as categorical. So what gives?
Communication is definitely one of the most significant aspects of any relationship, and if we’re talking about long-term commitment, absolute honesty definitely works in the 21st century.
However, for short-terms relationships or budding relationships being honest is nice, but not putting all cards on the table right away is desirable because early stages of any relationship are so exciting because of that element of surprise.
Nothing Against Good Communication
Being honest and open in the 21st century works just as it did at any other time, and just as it will in the future. People respond well to honesty because they feel like they can trust the other person and rely on them in their time of need. When it comes to dating, telling the other person what they need to know is often enough at the beginning, meaning they don’t need to know about your innermost demons that haunt you when you’re down. They don’t need to know about your fears or doubts, but that doesn’t mean you should just tell them about the good stuff.
Nobody is perfect so you should give some of your dirt away early on to establish trust, but omitting some really personal aspects of your life, views or personality isn’t necessarily dishonesty. There is a time and a place for everything, and as your relationship progresses you’ll be more willing to share and the other person will be more willing to listen.
Establishing Trust
By sharing we establish trust, and there is nothing wrong with that, but if you and your date are just in it for the night, talking about your biggest childhood trauma or where you see yourself in 25 years will just ruin the mood. On the other hand, talking about your intensions towards the other person honestly is an entirely different story, and extreme or not, you should not do to others what you don’t want done to you.
Stringing someone along, making them your side piece or being dishonest for whatever reason just to get what you want can come back to haunt you as you never know when karma is going to strike. Honesty is the best policy even if it doesn’t get you what you want because it leaves you with integrity, and knowing that some things are either not meant to be or are not worth tossing your principles out the window for. Being able to look yourself in the eye no matter what is far more gratifying down the road than knowing you scored with a few more oblivious souls.
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Excellent post. Over the last four years I’ve been amazed at things I’ve been able to receive by being honest about intentions from the beginning. Also learned about who I can & can’t trust from watching others lie their way through life.