Let me start by saying this. It is far far easier for a man to get a notch count of 50 or even 100 plus than it is for him to find a woman who’d make a great and amazing wife. This is just a fact. And because of the modern landscape what with divorce raping, seizing of kids by government, courts biased towards women, and so on and so forth you just cannot afford to settle when it comes to something as life changing as marriage (life changing doesn’t mean a good or bad thing, it just means a thing.)
However there are those who just will never be fulfilled by boning sluts and who for one reason or another (God, religion, personality, legacy, etc.) want to find a wife and/or maybe start a family. Now usually these men are shamed as being fools but this isn’t the case at all. As a matter of fact these men represent an evolution. However with that being said that does not mean that this is an easy task, no it’ll be much harder than banging a bunch of sluts or even building a business. And for most it just isn’t worth it.
But if your one of the few who wants to do it and do it right then sit down and listen. What I have to say isn’t going to be pleasant nor is it going to be fun and therefore is pretty much impossible for the weak or immature. I don’t mean immature as a shaming word that women use to shame males in marrying marriageable women rather a state of mind and development. For many being a life long bachelor is the wise, mature, and right path, this is just a fact but for others it is not.
Let’s Start With This
So there are two large parts to marriage. One being you and the other being your wife. Now before I get sarcastic or snarky comments let me explain what I mean by this. First off you have to be right yourself. Like attracts like and if you’re not where you want to be then you’re going to attract a woman who is not where you want her to be. This is fine when you’re dating and boning but changes completely when you’re looking for a wife.
So first off you have to be the kind of man that will be able to attract a great girl who will make a good wife. Now I can’t say exactly what this means but I can give you a general idea of what it is and what it is not. If you spend your spare time between weed, porn, and video games while working a dead end job at the local fast food place then you have a long way to go. However if you’re in shape, working a job you enjoy, and have most of your life together you’re going to be much more able to attract a marriageable girl.
Not saying you have to be some super stud in every way but you should have your basics handled. You should be somewhat of a man. Again you don’t have to wrestle lions barehanded or conquer small islands by sword alone but you should have a masculine presence, energy, and edge that a woman is going to respond to. This is no different then if you just wanted to take home different girls every night. This is needed for long term attraction as well. There are plenty of resources on this site to lead you in this direction.
Finding A Needle In A Haystack
The next part is your wife. Once you have yourself handled then you can worry about finding a woman who has the potential to make a good wife (as a side note you NEVER EVER EVER stop working on and developing yourself, but once you have the basics handled then you can start looking). Now finding a woman who has the potential to be a good wife is liking finding a needle in the haystack. Let me say this one more time, this is in no way, shape, or form going to be easy and is NOT going to be worth it for most men. It is much easier to bang a bunch of fun girls and live as a bachelor, much much easier.
But with that being said let’s address some factors that pretty much make it impossible for a woman to make a good wife. These aren’t politically correct by any means and if said in public would pretty much cause a riot, but they are absolutely one hundred percent true. And it’s my job and the job of this site to deliver hard truths because it is the truth that will set you free. So with that being said let’s dive into this.
First off is notch count. Now virgins are harder and harder to find and for most guys it is just not going to happen. If that’s something that truly bothers you and you feel deeply about then hey stick to your guns and just understand your mountain is going to go from Annapurna I (10th highest mountain in the world) to Mount Everest but hey there are those that have ascended it so more power to you. But with that being said with every guy that’s been with a girl the worse of a wife she’ll make. Obviously I can’t say “Oh at 4 partners she’ll make a horrible wife but at 2 the wonderful mother of your children” what I’m saying is that the higher the count the worse off it’ll be. What number you’re comfortable with is up to you but understand every notch adds something like a 10% increase in divorce risk.
But there are even some virgins out there who would make bad wives (exceptions of course, but useful to prove my next point) the next thing you want to look for is things like her relationship with father and her ideology/religious beliefs. Is her dad out of the picture? Is she a hardcore feminist? And so on and so forth. Again some girls without fathers would still make good wives and some girls adopt feminism to fit it but again you need to be smart about these things. Marriage is no place to take risks or roll the dice anymore than you need to.
What To Look For
Now I want to add to this. So a lot of guys look for physically attractive women who have good personalities are mature and also have good character and the fact of the matter is that very few of those women exist and so you’ll have to prioritize. I want to start with physicality because as a male this is going to be a huge thing. If you’re not attracted to your wife it’s simply not going to work. But at the same time physicality is not that big of deal and let me explain.
First off there are exceptions such as fat chicks and chicks with dyed hair or bunch of tattoos but overall if a girl is a little plain (but has more important things like character) it’s very easy to get her on an exercise scheme and diet as well a new hairstyle and trip to the tanning bed than it is to fix a girls personality or character. So above all else character is what is key. Like the ancients said “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” and that was back in a patriarchal society, how much more so now.
So character ranks first. After that I would say personality. With the steps I talked about above you can very easily take a 4 to an 8 (You’d be surprised how many women you’ve fantasized about that you wouldn’t even notice walking around.) and a girl with character with a good personality will be more than happy to workout and look good for you (granted you got yourself handled as well). Same with maturity. A girl with a good personality and character will follow your lead and guidance and “shape up” maturity wise very quickly.
And to be frank if a girl is a virgin or close to it she’s going to be most likely a bit immature or naive. That’s fine, you’re the man and you’ll lead her. Aside from the things mentioned above (notch count and father relationship/mental wellbeing) character ranks first and then personality. Maturity and much more so physicality matter but are things that are easy to “fix” though I think a better word can be used. So as long as the physicality does not reflect the character then don’t worry about it.
Living True
By undertaking this journey you’re doing something very hard for very little perceived reward at least at first. However if you feel led there or it is something important to you then you wouldn’t be much of a man to not take it. We all have unique fires that burn in our souls that require different things. And we owe it to ourselves to give that fire what it needs to grow and flourish and for some that will be a wife and a family. Living true to your soul.
Just understand this will require work, sacrifice, and is NOT an easy task. And it’s not like in business where “good enough is good enough” this is not a place to compromise on. But it is possible and don’t let bitter butt hurt weak men tell you otherwise. You must be wise and strong for this to work but again it can work. Work on yourself (something you should always be doing regardless of anything) and then look for a woman who has the characteristics of making a good wife.
Understand what is and is not important. Be bold, have faith, and take action. Do not be a man of timid heart, mind, or body. Be as the Creator created you to be strong, virile, with a fire burning in your chest. Do not compromise yourself or who you are. This advice applies far beyond finding a wife. Now go and take action.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge