Or at least in my opinion. Now self-defense is one area where everyone seems to be an expert and there is a whole hell of a lot of arm chair quarterbacking going on. Which on one hand makes sense. After all other than a very select few most of us will go our entire lives without a true life or death situation. It’s not like in other areas that we study here where you can just go out and do the thing.
Everyone can write a sales letter and send it out to test how the principles work, everyone can go talk to a girl at a club, and just about everyone can set into a boxing ring and so on and so forth. However with self-defense most of the principles are never applied and therefore rarely tested. Which leads to a whole lot of nonsense as well as armchair quater-backing. I’m not going to pretend like I’m some expert either, because I’m not.
I’m just a guy who knows some things from men much smarter than me that can help you out should the need ever arise. These are broad and general principles because violence is a very chaotic thing and doesn’t much like rules (well except things like physics and such but you get my point). So again take what I (or anyone else talking about self-defense) says with a skeptical eye. And always be smart.
But with all of that being said let’s dive into what I consider the most important aspects of self-defense. And surprisingly not a single one of them has anything to do with actual physical contact. Meaning a 110 pound untrained woman can use these things (and should!) just as well as 220 pound Navy S.E.AL. (who should also be using them as a civilian, court ain’t cheap or fair!).
The First Most Important Aspect Of Self-Defense
Is obviously the Shaolin spinning death touch. I kid. The most important aspect of self-defense has absolutely nothing to do with striking, shooting, or really anything physical. Rather the most important aspect of self-defense is awareness or put another way keeping your head out of your ass (easier said than done). It means being aware of your environment and everything in it. It means hey there’s a group of young males of a different race hanging out by where you want to park your car.
Meaning it’s probably not the best idea to park your car there. It means hey it’s night so maybe ubering is better than parking in the parking garage in the ghetto even if the rate is exorbitant. It means not being stupid (again easier said than done). It means knowing the average human in many places you go is a scum bag who’s gut you, rape your wife, and murder your kids as soon as he’d burp. An exaggeration? Perhaps, but in matters such as these it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Awareness simply means paying attention to what is transpiring around you. And it’s something few people do but it’s critically important. Because awareness allows you to identify potential threats before they become threats. One great way to build this up is to play the “spy game”. Spies (real ones) have to be incredible situationally aware and keep track of everything going on around them.
One way to do this is after exiting a room trying to remember as many detail as you can about the room and everything in it. What color were the drapes? Did that guy have one or two olives in his martini (watching too much Bond I know). And so on and so forth. Try to recall every minute detail about everything you can. But of course don’t miss the forest for the trees. This is just a fun game to play from time to time. It does you no good to be able to recall the guy was wearing a black hoodie with a tear on the right shoulder as he smashes your face in.
The Second Most Important Aspect Of Self-Defense
So awareness is the most important aspect of self-defense but this one plays right off of it and really they could also be considered two parts of a whole. Sort of like breathing in and breathing out. And this aspect is avoidance. So you use your awareness to spot potential threats and then the next step is then to mitigate those threats by avoidance as much as possible. Again drunk guy yelling in the bar it’s probably in your best interest to avoid him and stay out his way regardless if you can “beat him up” or whatever.
A quick knife to the gut can drop a trained soldier just as easily as it can anyone else. And you just never know with people. Let me repeat that “You just never know with people”. And because of this it’s best to practice avoidance in addition to awareness. Now you’d think “Well Charles who’d be dumb enough to be aware of a potential threat but not avoid it” and my answer would be the majority of people. It’s not enough to just be aware you have to avoid as well.
This may mean giving someone space, it may mean driving for another 10 minutes to find somewhere else to leave your car, it may mean not entering that bar with the 50 Harleys parked outside, it may mean a whole hell of a lot of things. But what it means above all else is being smart (not being a dumbass is really a cardinal rule of life).
The Third Most Important Aspect Of Self-Defense
So we have awareness as our first step and avoidance as our second step or maybe you want to look at them as two parts of one step, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you get the general concept and can apply it to your life to keep your ass safe (as well as those you love). But sometimes awareness and avoidance aren’t enough, sometimes you try your damnedest but the threat has targeted you and you can avoid it. What comes next?
Well again this is a general principle and one that will not always apply to every situation but one that generally applies (again be smart and do what’s right for the situation matters above anything else, especially any “rule”). And that is de-escalation (or whatever your particular word for that concept is). I don’t want to get too in depth here because de-escalation is going to mean different things in different situations (sometimes slightly different sometimes drastically different). For example if getting robbed many recommend to give them what they want and avert your eyes. For others it may means backing down and stopping the ego battle before it escalates into violence.
I was talking with an instructor of mine who is a former police officer and was talking about the most important “skills” to have as a police officer. And he said by far the thing that came in handy the most was not jiujitsu (what he instructs) bur rather what he called “verbal judo” which from what I understood of the process is simply de-escalating situations through the use of words. Like our moms used to say “use your words”. You just probably never thought that could be used to save your life.
Remember Violence Is The Final Solution, Not The First
But when it comes time for it then by God you’d better be ready to use it full force (not legal advice). However as far as self-defense is concerned (as well as living your life free and clear, never forget the American and European governments are 100% against the average citizen defending himself) violence is the last step not the first. It’s always better to be aware, avoid, and de-escalate than it is to have to resort to violence no matter how skilled you are in its application.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.
-Charles Sledge
