Today we have another great guest post from Forever Alpha Blog a site that you should know by now is dedicated to men over 40 reclaiming their health and vitality among other things. Of course the lessons that are shared are applicable to all men regardless of their age.
Your appearance flows into literally everything you do. It flows into all interpersonal relationships you have. Right from the very first second you meet someone, they have already made a thousand subconscious assumptions about you, purely based upon your appearance.
Let’s go back in time…
March 2013
I entered the room, faced by three suited-up, intimidating-looking fellows. They stood up from behind their long desk, heads held high, and greeted me with bone-crunching handshakes.
My already nervous state doubled in intensity.
My young, pudgy-looking face managed a weak smile and I mustered a feeble handshake. “Hi I’m Alex, nice to meet you”, I mumbled, eyes rapidly darting from interviewer to the next.
Feeling my sweaty palms perspire even more only helped to exacerbate the interview’s terrible start. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.
March 2016
John sat back in his chair, running his hands through his thinning grey hair. Tiring of all these back to back meetings, the Director was regretting ever signing the contract for the new troublesome suppliers. One day all this crap would be over with. He just needed to go over a few final details with his team.
One by one, they started entering the room. All looking like he felt; drained.
But then to John’s surprise, a new face entered. Taking up a lot of space and boasting a big grin on his face, a powerfully-built, chiselled young man purposefully claimed his seat.
The young man, having taken his seat and given a few nods to his colleagues, then held the Director’s gaze with a warm smile – extreme confidence, but not arrogance. He proudly introduced himself as ‘Alex’.
Yes, John thought. These suppliers would soon be taken care of. Of that, he had no doubt.
Transform Your Appearance, Transform Your Social Standing
Nobody will tell you this in real life. Your parents, friends and girlfriends aren’t going to tell you that transforming your musculature, losing weight and becoming more dominant will move you up the social hierarchy. Nobody says this.
But it’s the truth.
We all know about the impact of this stuff upon women and sex. But there’s more to it than that.
From an evolutionary standpoint, men will not trust you if they don’t believe you would be capable of backing them in a fight against other men (over territory or resources). They won’t trust you if they think that you’ll backstab them at any given opportunity (which is a trait of the needy, insecure Beta).
What’s more?
90% of the time, they will make a snap decision within a handful of seconds; purely based off your appearance. This means that 90% of the time, you will instantly fall into the ‘yes, I trust this guy’, or ‘no, he’s weak’ category within a few seconds.
Guys who lack confidence (and this shows in their body language), are carrying too much fat, or dress sloppily do this to themselves all the time. You DO NOT want your appearance to let you down. It’s completely avoidable.
In three years, I managed to:
- Gain ~20 pounds of muscle
- Lose ~20 pounds of fat (not at the same time as the above)
- Improve my style & dress sense
- Become far more self-confident
And the change in the way people perceive you is nothing short of incredible. Confidence cannot be faked. When you’re genuinely confident, all of the body language cues come naturally to you; they’re on autopilot. It’s a great place to be.
Holding your head high, good eye contact, a strong, controlled voice, and a relaxed demeanour all come naturally when you’re genuinely incredibly confident.
This is all great, but what does this mean for you?
It means you’re perfectly capable of the same results. I’m nothing special genetically, and I transformed within three years. You absolutely can as well.
3 Ways To Transform Your Appearance
Your Physique
The most consistent confidence builder amongst men is to gain muscle & lose fat. Both. There are millions of men who think they don’t need to lose weight, and if you were to ask a doctor, they would agree.
I don’t care.
If you go from 16-18% body fat (normal) down to 10% or so (lean), you will:
- Become far more chiselled and masculine looking
- Other people will pick up on this, and consequentially will treat you better from the word go
Gaining slabs of muscle in the traps, neck and shoulders are also great places to obviously improve your overall look.
Gaining muscle in general will improve your hormonal health & your self-confidence. Get it done. It’s not easy, but it’s a simple process and you just need to put in the hard work over time.
Your Style
I’m no fashion guru, but I can tell you that the typical, poorly-dressed Beta does not go down too well with either women or Alphas. It sends all the wrong signals; lack of self-confidence, self-care and self-love. Not good.
For myself personally, wearing better (tighter) fitting clothing has made a huge difference. Also clothes that elongate your look, rather than baggier clothes that make you look shorter and fatter. This is true whether you’re wearing a simple t-shirt + jeans w cap, or a full suit; the same general rules still apply. They must be well-fitted.
Your Body Language
As I mentioned above, this comes easily and naturally the more confident and dominant you become. You don’t even have to think about it. As I’ve always said, the three biggest long-term confidence boosters are here.
And yes, for them to be long-term, you must maintain them. It’s no good going through periods of zero sex, gaining weight as you age, or suffering financial problems later in life.
But in terms of specifics, you need to address the following:
- Posture – head up and chest out.
- Eye contact – this is enormous – confident, warm and friendly, not creepy.
- Voice – strong and clear, don’t speak too quickly.
- Movements – calm and relaxed; never rushed.
- Demeanour – warm and chilled. Don’t try to act “cool” or “tough”.
- Touch – touching other people builds rapport and shows confidence.
Getting good in the above areas will put you into the ‘yes, I trust him category’ very quickly and easily.
Transform your physique, your style and your body language, and you will drastically improve all interpersonal relationships. It’s huge. You don’t know what you’re missing.
To transform your appearance, check out my coaching page where I teach clients how to lose weight without rebounding in the long-term. Motivation is a requirement, and being disciplined on a daily basis is also going to be a non-negotiable. Check out my coaching here.
