There are certain memories that stick out to you. Ones that even though they happened so long ago you know they’ll never go away. I was lucky to have a father that was present and invested in me. I honestly can’t think of a better “advantage” to have in life. We weren’t rich, he drove a forklift in a warehouse loading up trains all day. But I still think what I had was better than a trust fund. He often worked odd and double shifts and I remember there being times when I didn’t get to see him much and not liking it.
But he still used what time he had for us when he could, which is all you could ever ask of anyone, and something I’ll always be appreciative of. I think a lot of people have the wrong idea when it comes to their children. They think they give them great advantages by giving them money or sending them off to some fancy school that has people deluded it knows the first damn thing about a true education.
To me those aren’t really advantages, at least not compared to others. It might sound a bit trite, a bit like a Hallmark movie, but I think my father just taking the time to spend time with me mattered more than just about anything else I can think of. Because of the example set for me it’s an example I hope to pass on and that I hope to continue down the line. No father is perfect, I know I won’t be, and we all try to correct the mistakes made before, but I think it’s also important to keep the good things going as well.
Make Sure You’re Doing This With Your Son
So what’s the first thing? What’s the first thing that I think every father should do with their son? I think every father should play and roughhouse with their sons. I remember my father pretend “boxing” with me and holding his hands up for me to hit, I remember him wrestling with me (grandfather did this too), I remember him patiently throwing the ball to me as I whiffed again and again until I finally got a hit, it was only later we realized I needed glasses. But I remember these times, these times of roughhousing and physical activity.
I think there is something weird and unnatural about people who refuse to interact with their kids. Who treat them either as fragile pieces of porcelain or like unclean animals that they must touch as little as possible. I remember running around the house and dad swinging me up or tackling me. Not hard and not to hurt obviously but just to have fun with. People don’t get how much boys need rough housing and physical activity. I think girls need it too, to a certain extent, at least the physical activity, but especially boys.
And it doesn’t necessarily have to be wrestling or throwing the ball. I know for a lot of people it might be hunting or fishing, getting out in the great outdoors. We lived in the city so aside from a park we couldn’t do much hiking but if the terrains allows it then use it. Again this is a broad thing, rough housing and physical activity. It makes a huge difference, more than trust fund will. It could also be yard work, working on the car, house repair, I remember doing all of those things with my dad and it made a huge difference.
What’s The Other Thing?
Of course I mentioned two things that every father should do with their sons and we only mentioned one. So what’s the other? Well if you’ve read my work for any length of time you know I’m a big fan of balance, so we addressed the physical now we’re going to talk about the mental, in a way. Something else I remember clearly was my father reading to me and my brother at night. I remember being cuddled up a listening to different stories. I loved the far away places, the weird situations, and how the heroes overcome a myriad of different obstacles.
And I liked being around my father even more. It usually wasn’t long, it’d either be when we were going to sleep or when he had to sleep in the middle of the day because of third shift and I got home from kindergarten. Regardless I remember these times. I remember curled up, drifting off, or him drifting off, as we went through a book together. I remember it was nice because we could do the bigger books that I couldn’t read on my own yet.
So I’d recommending reading to your sons, and daughters of course, just read to your children. Could be before bed or could be with whatever time you can manage. Read to them and spend time with them. Explore books and stories together, stories are one of the most bonding human experiences. Maybe there’s some reminiscent of it of sitting around a campfire with the tribe. I don’t know, I just know that it made an impression on me and I’d recommend it to you.
Importance Of Fathers
It’s a bit cliche by now, at least in certain circles, but the importance of a father, especially a present father, cannot be overestimated. If you had to boil down how a child turns out to one single factor, an impossible task but bear with me, then I’d say that child’s relationship to their father is what made the biggest single difference. Obviously everyone is their own person and there are a myriad of influences out there. And there are forces that want to destroy your children and delight in doing so.
I’m not saying if you do these two things you’ll have perfect kids or anything like that. I’m just saying that these two things made a huge difference in my life and I think they’ll make a huge difference in my children’s lives as well. Their wise and happy things to do in my book. Just something to think about, something I wanted to share, and had been thinking about recently. Maybe you remember something that stood out to you and want to share it below, that’d be cool.
If anything I said here interests you I’d highly recommend you check out The Ultimate Alpha Collection which is a compilation of 16 of my books for the price of 5. It covers everything from being a man to making money to getting the right mindset to getting girls to fighting and more and is a resource no man should be without. Pick up your copy today!
-Charles Sledge
