Why Being A “Nice Guy” Never Worked As A Dating Tactic

Why Being A "Nice Guy" Never Worked As A Dating Tactic by Charles Sledge

This is a weekly column by Stefan Simonovic. Stefan runs multiple dating sites and writes about dating for men. In this article Stefan talks about why being a nice guy has never attracted women and never will. This is an important topic that many men still don’t get. Enjoy.

There’s no need to say it out loud because we already know what’s been bothering you – you did your best to impress her by holding the car doors for her and you told her all about your unconditional love for puppies because you’ve seen it’s a hit among celebrities on Snapchat who don’t cease to bombard us with cute videos of their pets. So, you stepped in bravely like any true gentleman would do, suppressing the urge to puke your guts out while you were telling her all about your dog who goes by the name of Princess.

Anyways, everything seemed to be going according to plan. Yay.

Now, hold it right there because we know the truth – it didn’t exactly work out. We bet you suddenly found yourself in a semi-desperate situation – which was kind of funny to watch actually – because you probably ended up squeezing a smartphone anxiously while waiting for a desired call/text/snap to arrive. “What went wrong?” became a philosophical question to be discussed with your mates over a beer…but what if we told you it can be deftly avoided by reading the following paragraphs? Keep in mind that the latter is better, especially if you’re regular at your AA meetings.

Bad Boy Myth or Back to the Basics

She knows he’s gonna make her cry in the end, and you’re also aware that pulling out the macho crap isn’t exactly your cup of tea. Still, you have to be aware this myth is not the myth at all. Namely, female’s psychology extends beyond the limits of the known, meaning that she won’t be able to give you an exact explanation as to why her panties are literally falling off whilst the you-know-which bodily fluids are starting to flow the moment she spots a bad boy in the room. Still, we’ve tried to think of some of the possible reasons for such a strong physical response and these just some of the possible explanations:

  • Perhaps she watched 9 ½ weeks when she was just a vulnerable teenage girl whose hormones were going wild, which helped her forget all about her love for Disney.
  • She’s an avid fan of basically anything that comes from the vampire universe because we all know that women are – figuratively speaking, of course – bloodsuckers in disguise and therefore mostly bound to fall for someone who’s similar to them.
  • Maybe it was 50 Shades of Grey that made her a masochistic monster? Who knows…

Bad Boy has a unique style – Nice guys are just average

She loves everything about him – from his easygoing persona balancing on the brink of being indifferent about everything, to the way he lives for the moment. And even though she secretly craves to tame him in the near future and consequently whip him up into a solid husband material, she’ll make sure to enjoy every bit of the suspense there is. It makes a perfect sense… right?

He’s a Sexy MF – Nice guys are just cute

If you’re graced by the patience of Job and still firmly believe that being nice will take you far in the long run then it’s very likely that you’ll get laid…eventually. You see, just like in the late Prince’s song, the bad boy radiates some seriously hot vibes that are practically irresistible even for the more experienced among the ladies. We’re sorry to bring this up but a nice guy really doesn’t stand a chance when it comes to one-night flings and arranging all other sorts of sexcapades.

Bad boy pretending to be a nice guy – a huge no-no

Don’t even try it because she will see through it somehow since females are known for having a sixth sense. This means that if their gut tells them that something’s wrong they won’t stop until they’ve found out what it is exactly because they don’t enjoy being played around with – well, at least not to an extent greater than she allowed you in the first place. On the other hand, this is the way to avoid the risk of being dumped by receiving a slap in your face because she appreciates the honesty – mostly.

In conclusion

You should bear in mind that tactics of any kind are not to be overly trusted in the dating game as we all dwell in a distorted universe where a noble maiden is desperately waiting for Jon Snow to grow a pair of balls. True story, bro!

If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.

-Charles Sledge

Charles Sledge

  • Ash

    Being a nice guy doesn’t work for the same reason being a nice girl doesn’t work: it’s boring. Both men and women love the idea of a little bit of excitement and danger. however, you should always be a good person who treats the one you are with well, regardless. Being a complete jerk may work for lower quality women, but decent women will drop you like a hot plate.

  • H8TheWayLifeIs

    which books do you recommend that go very deep, into specific detailed explanation on what have been the factors, causes, reasons that have caused guys to grow up without strong masculine role models in this generation or the past couple decades?

    • Not sure about that.

      • H8TheWayLifeIs

        ya because for some time I was thinking, that it’s good to find out the cause of certain problems before finding out the solution to problems, anyway, this was from comments I made on here before, when I thought that it seems men were meant to “grow” in life more than women do, and you said that both men and women do grow, just in different ways, reason why I bring this up, is because for several years now, all of the life coaching programs and growth programs I’ve seen out there are geared towards men more than women it seems from what I’ve observed, all the self-improvement programs.

        • Yeah it’s a bigger concern for men like looks are a bigger concern for women in society at large. And it’s a multifaceted topic you have feminism, weak males, and a whole host of other things that have led to the sitution we’re in. The solution is to make men strong again.

  • H8TheWayLifeIs

    something I’ve kinda wondered for a while, even though I know we shouldn’t focus on what others go through or their problems, worry about us, what I’ve wondered, how does a girl need to know or learn how to get a date or get a boyfriend when she doesn’t have to be the one to approach or make any moves, initiate or escalate anything, because since she is being passive, and when you are passive, it sounds like you don’t really learn much, because I thought the only way to learn stuff is by doing and applying, and since women are passive, it makes me wonder, how does a girl, woman, learn or know how to play her role in the human mating dance when she doesn’t have to initiate?

    For example, I got this quote from somewhere, on a youtube video, it said: “Also girls have it easier when learning to interact with the opposite sex successfully because guys approach girls. It’s the masculine role to initiate. So girls learn fairly young the basics even if they do nothing.”

    I mainly agree with the last part, but I remember one dating coach said when I asked him that same question but he didn’t get to explain much, because someone interrupted him, he responded by saying “that’s a very good question, she needs to know how to screen a guy”

    But my guess is, that women learn typically faster on average on how to screen a guy faster than guys learn how to master approaching and initiating, escalating, leading interaction, seduction, etc. Either that, women need far less skills than men do in order to succeed in the dating/mating game it sounds like.

  • The bad guys happen to grab the cookie, and stuff it I’m their mouth, at best the nice guys are left with the leftover, if there is any. Or worst, just sit at the table probably wishing there was something left in the plate for them. Actually being a nice guy rarely pays off in our present society. Great Voice, Stefan. I wrote something pertaining the subject on my blog “why women love cave men”. You should check it out. Meanwhile, continue the good work.