The Sexual Pyramid

No this isn’t a weird sex move. The sexual pyramid is the sexual hierarchy. A hierarchy that most choose to ignore yet nevertheless affects their day to day lives. Nature is hierarchical and while we may be able to deny hierarchy in things like rights, employment, and other areas but this illusion will cause you nothing but pain when you apply it to a biological function like mating.

Now when looking at human sexuality we’re going to have to generalize when coming up with models to represent it. The sexual pyramid is a base model, not perfect by any means. However it does a great job of conveying a sexual truth. And yes there are such things as sexual truths.

Alright before we dive in let me address some issues you may have. Some people think that dating and mating are things that cannot be understood and therefore usually result to platitudes like “be yourself” or “you’ll eventually find the one” and unless you’re a hot girl these things will never work. Human sexuality is something that can be understood just like anything else. No one has to go around not having the success with the opposite sex they want, they chose to.

For example is someone is having trouble with their finances do they just throw up their hands and exclaim “It’s impossible to figure out!”? Alright some people do and those people are called poor people. Smart people go and buy books, watch videos, talk to experts until they come away with an understanding of what it is that is frustrating or confusing them.

However when it comes to dating most people, especially men, think that their “luck” with women will never change. Despite the fact that like getting rich “luck” has very little to do with it. Alright if you want to start on your journey to improve your dating life I suggest you check out the Attraction section of the Approved Resources tab and buy The Primer.

Now the sexual pyramid. We’ll divide it into three sections the top, the middle, and the bottom.

The Bottom

The bottom are those with the least amount of sexual options. The ones that fall into this category are the majority of men and ugly/overweight women. This tier makes up the majority of the population. Most people simply put are not attractive. Doesn’t mean their bad people just that their not attractive people. Now even though overweight and ugly women are the bottom of their respective sex as far as mating desirability goes they still hold a higher spot on the bottom tier than the majority of men do.

Why is this?

Now there have been a number of “studies” done where multiple dating profiles are put up on a dating website of both men and women. The men and women ranged from very attractive to downright ugly. Let me ask you a question who do you think got more responses? The ugliest women or the best looking men? Go ahead and guess.

Did you guess?

The winner is…the ugliest women. That’s right the worst looking of the women still got more responses than that best looking of the men. Now does this mean that ugly women occupy a higher spot on the sexual pyramid than good looking men? Not necessarily so for reasons we will get to in a bit. However this does illustrate a point. As far as getting attention from the opposite sex goes women are going to have a much easier time, however for attraction quality attention that is a different story.


Alright the mid-tier is made up of all the rest of women who are overweight or ugly. Again this is not a judge of anyone’s personal character. But remember biology has no moral compass to it, it simple is. Now the rest of women is a pretty large group.

It is. The best looking women are at the top of the mid-tier and the not so good looking ones at the bottom. Yet all women are contained here.

Most people who imagine that beautiful women would occupy the top of the pyramid but that is not so. Now if looks were the only category for sexual selectivity then yes they would and if women had the same sexual selection process as men then again yes they would but this is not so. Men and women look for different things in a sexually suitable partner. Translated to what turns women on is different from what turns a man on.

And just for future reference no women are not attracted to sensitive nice guys (but they’re really easy to use).

Top of the Pyramid

You’ve probably heard the statistic that “20% of men sleep with 80% of women” while obviously getting exact measurements on this will never happen I think this statement is more on less true (give or take a couple of percentages). Point is guys who get laid a lot, get laid A LOT. And guys who don’t get laid a lot, don’t get laid a lot. While women occupy a place somewhere in the middle.

So for sake of simplicity let’s say that the average number of partners the top tier has is ten, the middle five, and the lower one. You see how this can translate to society. You have the player asshole who has had sex with five girls who all ended up marrying some nice guy whose virginity they took. Or something similar. These girls will usually lie to the nice guy about their past to make sure he doesn’t feel bad but the alphas at the top tier all know the truth about women’s sexuality.

What does this mean for the average guy?

Now if you’re a guy I think it’s safe to say that the top 20% (or 10%) is where you want to be.

Am I right?

Of course I am.

So why don’t more guys end up there? Simply put they don’t know that they can. They think that their place on the pyramid is something that is static but it isn’t it is dynamic. Just like someone can rise from poverty to riches so can one rise from dud to stud. Granted that they are willing to put in the time and effort. Nothing happens on its own.

The reason I brought this up is to show men two things

  1. women do not hold all the power sexually
  2. you place on the pyramid is not static but dynamic

I hope that this knowledge gives you hope. For those of you who wish to ascend to the top of the pyramid not just in sexual desirability but across all aspects of life pick up a copy of The Primer today

If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.

-Charles Sledge

Charles Sledge

  • H8TheWayLifeIs

    either sink or swim, Women pretty much float if that makes sense, Men
    either rise to the top or sink to the bottom, meanwhile women sort of
    exist happily in the middle”

    I feel those phrases have had a powerful impact on me, and they do make total sense, and i’m sure you have noticed and observed this too about life, society for a while, life, society, expects guys, men to do more self-improvement on themselves than women thats for sure. So that goes another way as to how those phrases make total sense, another thing as well too, it seems for the most part, when a guy improves his dating life, becomes better with attracting and seducing women, it helps him in other areas of his life, such as getting ahead in the business world, in his career, such as getting promoted at work, etc., Meanwhile for women, not as much, when women improve their dating lives, it mainly just solely benefits them in their dating life only, but when a man improves his dating life, it helps, benefits him in his career and other aspects of life as well.

    Hence why the site/blog Knowledge for Men by Andrew Ferebee exists, he promotes this all over with facebook ads titled:

    “There is a powerful man buried deep within you that has been suppressed for far too long…

    It’s time to lead.

    This is a call to all men – to be great!

    To rise up and shatter the bonds society has trapped us in.

    From this point forward you are going to stand on this earth as a strong grounded man.

    We can and will do better.”

    It’s hard to put into words but your phrases about how men either sink or swim while women float,, men either rise to the top or sink to the bottom while women are in the middle, make total sense. Since why personal development, growth has long been expected of men more than women. I doubt there is a female version of Andrew Ferebee or Tony Robbins, even thought women do attend Tony Robbins seminars, it sure seems men benefit from his help, coaching more than women do. Hard to explain but hopefully you get the point