For those that don’t know Hunter Drew runs the blog The Family Alpha where he writes about becoming a masculine man from a married man’s perspective. He also runs with Craig James The Fraternity Of Excellence a group of likeminded men working together to better one another. In 31 Days To Masculinity Hunter lays out a month long guide on how a man can reclaim his authentic self and start the process of becoming a masculine man in the process.
There are many similarities between 31 Days To Masculinity and The Primer. As a matter of fact I’d view 31 Days To Masculinity as a married man’s version of The Primer. Of course any man would benefit from this book (as with The Primer) but married men certainly have the most to gain from it. If you’re a man who isn’t getting the sex you want from your wife, your children aren’t on the path that you want them to be, you feel like others don’t respect you, or feel like you aren’t living you authentic self then 31 Days To Masculinity is a must read.
Look The Part
As this book is over 400 pages of great information I’m going to dive into certain concepts and parts that particularly stood out to me. The first chapter that really stuck out to me that I hadn’t really thought of before was the importance of looking the part. Hunter talks about the importance of taking care of your appearance and presenting yourself as a masculine man. This is something that I’ve been working on more and more lately as I’ve learned more about the importance of aesthetics.
I always thought working out for looks was superfluous at best but have since changed my opinion. A book is always judged by its cover and we are always first judged by what’s on the outside. A man could have a heart of steel and a quick mind yet if he has scrawny arms and dresses like a bum he’s not going to get much respect. Likewise a clown walks in with broad shoulders and a suit and he’ll instantly get more respect. Sure aesthetics aren’t everything but they count for much more then most would admit.
The Only Hope Your Family Has Is You
The man is the leader of the family and you can often tell how strong the father/husband of the family is by the way that the wife and kids act. Is the wife an amorphous blob of bitchiness and the kids undisciplined brats? Then you can be the man of that family is weak (if there is one). Likewise beautiful wife with a sweet disposition and happy smile, children who are happy to live out their respective masculine and feminine roles in the world? Then there’s a strong male in that family 100%.
As Hunter says in the very first line in the chapter “Your wife and children perform to the standard that you accept, not the one you expect and they follow your example, not your advice.” Positive change in a family starts with the man, which means it starts with you. You set the pace and you set the standards. However you have to live up to them yourself before you will be followed. And the only way to bring about effective change is to be lead by example and enforce the standards that you set like a masculine man.
Build Your Network
Another chapter that stood out was the one on building your network. I should note each chapter is a day in the program as every day you have a challenge. While independence is important and you should strive to stand on your own two feet understand that you can’t accomplish everything on your own. We are a tribal species that need tribes to survive and thrive. Interdependence does not mean weakness. Reach out to other masculine men who are walking the same path that you are walking. There are no lone wolves in the real world.
As men it’s easy to think that we can do it all ourselves and that we’re weak if we think otherwise. This mindset held me back for awhile it took me a long time to drop my ego and let others help me. But once I did I was able to grow and thrive like never before. Find a tribe and work to strengthen that tribe. Because tribalism is the way forward, especially tribes of masculine men working to help and better one another.
You Have To Earn It Every Day
In this chapter Hunter described masculinity as a fire. A fire that must be passed on from one generation from the other less it be extinguished. Here and now there are few torchbearers to light the way for the next generation. And hence without fire, without light, they are lost. 31 Days To Masculinity is a great book for reigniting that torch so that you can help light the fire of others. It’s a great book for showing the way forward. Even if you feel like your masculinity has been repressed or hidden for so long or maybe you felt like you never had it in the first place.
Going through the challenges in the book can change that. Consider it bootcamp to reignite your fire and reclaim (or claim) your masculinity. But Hunter also warns this is something you have to do every day. It’s not about doing the 31 days and then going back to your old life, it’s about doing the 31 days as the start of a new life and a new you. And not in the B.S. self-help “new you” way but in a fundmental change in who you are and how you see yourself and the world.
31 Days To Masculinity
There are also rules while following the program that I really liked. No porn or jerking off, 100 pushups every day, must read 2 book during time period (like Man Up wink wink), give honest answers, including say “no” when you don’t want to do something, and removing pot or alcohol if it’s a problem for you (and if you have to think about that, then it’s probably a problem). Many would balk at these rules and that’s while they’ll never achieve greatness. Even if this isn’t something you’d want to do forever do the challenge for a month.
Sacrifice the nonsense in your life for one months’ time and instead focus on development and watch how your life changes. At the end of the book Hunter says something else that really stood out to me “Masculine men will rise and by doing so they’ll save their masculine sons, their feminine wives, daughters, and western society itself in the process” the one thing that those who would like to crush all that is good on this earth fear most is masculine men doing what is right.
If you’re ready to become one of those men then get your copy of 31 Days To Masculinity today!
In your opinion.Can healthy long hair make a man more aesthetic?Or is better to stick with short
It really depends on the man. Some guys can rock long hair no problem. Not me, I keep it shaved. I’d recommend either really military short or viking long though if you’re going to go one way or the other.