So a bit of an unusual topic, especially for a manosphere site but one that I think needs to be addressed. And that is having a successful long term relationship. Caleb Jones over at Black Dragon Blog (a great resource) has talked about before how having a successful healthy long term relationship is a completely different skill from banging lots of women. While no doubt game has a part to play in marriage just because your banging lots of hot girls does not mean you are going to have good long term relationships with them (should you ever want that).
Maybe you don’t care about a long term relationship and I honestly don’t blame you. Most women aren’t worth it in our society. However for successful families to be raised and society to change for the better this is a skill that is going to be needed. While attraction plays a big role in long term relationships it is not the end all be all like it is for sleeping with them. Just because you can spike a woman’s emotions doesn’t mean marital bliss.
The Place Of Game
Before I wrote about how you must be a woman’s king for a long term relationship to work. I take a hard stance on long term relationships here because I have to write towards the average man dealing with the average woman so I probably come across harsh because I have to. A traditional woman being courted by a traditional man wouldn’t have to take such a hard line set in stone stance but that’s not going to be my average reader.
Now anyways in any relationship even with the most kind-hearted, sweet, submissive, traditional woman you still need to be attractive and keep the fire going. Now if that doesn’t happen she may not cheat on you and then divorce rape you like the average American woman but the relationship isn’t going to work out great either. Attraction is the foundation upon which all else is built. We all have an animal nature, most never rise above this. Attraction is always needed.
But It Is Not Everything
Now attraction is always needed but it is not everything. There are other skills that are needed. Relating, caring, you can’t just be the aloof asshole and expect a relationship to work out. There needs to be two people interacting with one another and there needs to be a level of care. Hell even being too aloof can backfire when you are just trying to sleep with a woman and will definitely backfire when wanting a long term relationship. Now I’m not claiming to be an expert on long term relationships nor do I necessarily want to be.
However I do want to point out that it is a separate skill from being able to bang lots of girls, no matter how hot. And that just because you’re “Mr. Stud” does not mean that you’ll have a healthy happy family. I think the manosphere can be a bit nihilistic when it comes to long term relationships and I can’t say I blame the majority who feel that way. These are tough time but this it is still a possibility to have a quality relationship with a quality girl. Granted two things. One you know that skills of having a good relationship and two you are quality yourself.
A Separate Skill
What I want you to take away from this is that if you have a long term relationship as a goal some time in the future realize “game” or being attractive isn’t enough. There are separate skills that need to be learned. Now for most this may not be worth it and that’s fine. I don’t know if I’ll ever end up in a long term relationship though I do want a son to carry on my name at some point. Also the manosphere for all it’s greatness may not be the best place to find good advice on this although more and more good quality (non-nihilistic) resources are springing up.
Some may have problems with the married side of the manosphere (because y’know all women are evil sluts) but I think it’s brought a much needed balance and I have learned quite a lot from it. A large part of being a man is constantly evolving and branching out to learn new skills. And to be honest banging hot sluts no matter how blonde or busty they are cannot be your end goal in life. Not saying to settle down early or even at all. But just that someone is going to have to raise the strong men of the future and to do that it requires that they know how to have a successful long term relationship.
That’s my two cents on the subject. Learn game and be attractive but understand that at least for having and raising a family goes it isn’t the end all be all. To attract quality you have to be quality. And if you plan on getting into a long term relationship anytime soon for whatever reason make sure it is a skill that you have developed (in addition to being attractive and a man) so that you have the greatest chance for success.
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