Relationship Or Fuck Buddy?

Relationship Or Fuck Buddy by Charles Sledge

Many men wonder why they end up with the opposite of they want. They want girl A to be a fuck buddy but she ends up wanting a relationship and they want girl B to be in a relationship but she just wants to be a fuck buddy or even a one night stand? What makes the difference? What makes one woman want to keep it casual and another one planning your wedding night?

Put simply it comes down to one simple word. Frame. Women are reactive and followers by nature. Women are going to go with the frame or paradigm you present them with. So if you present them with a I’m having my fun and your welcome to join bad boy vibe they’ll happily be your fuck buddy meanwhile present them with a I’m ready to settle down and commit to you vibe and they’ll go with that.

If you have women reading you wrong it is your fault and your job to correct this. You need to make sure what it is that you desire is congruent with what it is you are presenting to the woman. Don’t think about what she wants as you will often misread this and the woman is going to go with your paradigm anyways. Go with what you want and if she doesn’t want to follow along with it then move on. You presented what you wanted and she turned it down, end of interaction.

Fuck Buddy

The majority of guys the majority of the time aren’t going to want more than a fuck buddy. Hell most of the guys who are dating girls would prefer to have them as a fuck buddy but either don’t realize that’s an option or don’t have enough game to do so. Fuck buddies are pretty simple. Again more than anything the frame you present is what is going to matter but here are some things to keep in mind.

You don’t want to hang out with this girl to much and even more importantly you don’t want to do too many non sexual activities with her. Ideally you want to be able to call her whenever you want, bang her brains out, then show her the door. You don’t sit and talk, you don’t do things that couples would do. You fuck and that’s it. Hence the term fuck buddies. Realize this most women are going to push for more than this. They will want you to do things with them and try to slowly chart the course of the interactions to a relationship. You as the man must stop this and not give in.

Maintain the frame.


Getting a girl in a relationship isn’t hard. However there are some things that can make her feel cheap and mess up a the potential for a relationship (if that’s the route you want to take). For example many women after having a one night stand feel bad and many are reluctant to make contact with the guy again (especially for a relationship). Now granted if you rocked her world and held the frame she’ll get over it and come back to you but most guys are not at that level yet.

For example if you meet a girl at a concert and bang her in your car later, it’s a good chance that that isn’t going to turn into a relationship. Likewise say you hit it off with a woman at a bar and take her home that night and bang her she’s probably going to just want you for fun and not a relationship. Which frankly is what most guys want. But for those who aren’t remember this.

What It Comes Down To

More than anything else it comes down to the frame you present. More than banging her five minutes after you meet her, more than doing non sexual activities with her, more than anything. You’re the man and she’s going to go with the frame that you present to her. Present her with a fuck buddy frame and that’s what she’s going to go with. Likewise present her with a relationship frame and that’s what she’s going to go with.

Remember maintain the frame and you won’t run into many issues.

If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.

-Charles Sledge

Charles Sledge