The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi Review

Rollo Tomassi is the author of The Rational Male and blogs at The Rational Male site. Rollo was one of the earliest manosphere writers as well as one of its most influential. And for good reason. Rollo doesn’t write “ten tips to get laid today” or other click bait titles. Rollo writes essays delving deep into the dynamic of the relations between men, women, and society. He goes into things like hypergamy, the feminine imperative, and the basics of the red pill. Don’t let the fancy words throw you off what Rollo writes is practical and applicable to everyday life and your interactions with women. Rollo has a background in psychology making his essays some very interesting reads.

The Rationale Male serves as a great starter for those new to masculine self-development. It will help answer any questions that they may have. Combined with The Primer it would make a perfect introduction to masculine self-development ideas.

Oneitis

One of the first things Rollo addresses is the concept of “oneitis” meaning the myth that there is one special women out there for you. There is no such thing as a soul mate. Rollo talks about how being dependent upon one person, especially a woman spells death for a relationship and a mans happiness. Focusing on one woman keeps you from seeing her flaws, who she really is. It keeps you from expanding your options and having a healthy view of the woman you are with are think about. Another thing that oneitis does is build up this image of the woman in a man’s mind that is unrealistic and unhealthy. You’ve probably seen it before or even done it yourself. You focus on one woman to the exclusion of all women which is always a mistake.

I agree with Rollo that no one woman should ever be a man’s focus, even if that woman is his wife or girlfriend. Like I said in The Primer “Most women are interchangeable and all women are replaceable”. There is no one woman for you or anyone for that matter. When doing this it keeps you from building up an ideal image of a woman in your mind. It keeps you from putting her on a pedestal.

Hypergamy

Hypergamy is defined as “the action of marrying a person of superior caste or class”. We can swap out the word marriage her for a couple other things, namely “banging”. Meaning as Rollo would say women would rather share an unfaithful winner then have total commitment from a faithful loser. Women compete to get the top tier of men. Men and women priorities are different when it comes to mating and gender relations. Women care more about status than they do about loyalty. One of my favorite essays in this section of the book is the part about “War Brides”. War brides goes into describing female solipsism. Rollo destroys the myth that women are less emotionally involved than women.

“On the face of it you may think that men’s better ability to rationally remove themselves from the emotional would make them better at coping with psychological trauma but the reverse is actually the case. Women seem to have a better ability to accept emotional loss and move on.”

Women can be much colder and heartless than men. While women certainly do have more nurturing capacities when it comes to children and the young overall they are far less emotionally caring than men. A woman can tell a guy she loves him one day, break up with him the next, and get railed out by two guys the next and think nothing of it. Whereas a man would most likely at least be aware of the incongruities. War brides describes in historical times a woman could easily have the males of her tribes wiped and her children killed then be forced to mate with the members of the new dominant tribe. To cope with this women developed an ability to sever emotional ties and remove themselves from caring.

You’ll see with men, especially men with oneitis won’t get over a woman for quite some time while a woman could be over him literally an hour after they broke up or even before then. It is a false belief to say that men are cold and women are the caring ones. The opposite is more true. This doesn’t mean women are heartless or evil. Remember these are biological traits that developed for a reason. Just like a guy isn’t wrong because he wants a women for her round ass and tight waist instead of her personality. You can’t fight against biology only break yourself against it.

The Iron Rules

This part of the book deals with rules of relating to women and being a man. For example Iron Rule of Tomassi #1 – Frame is everything. This part of the book gives you actionable advice that you can start applying right away to make sure that you are getting the most out of your life and relationships. These deal with a variety of topics from why waiting for sex is never worth it, how to respond to “how many women have you slept with”, and while living with a woman who you don’t plan on marrying is a dumb move.

Summary

If you have a son I would highly recommend you get him this book before he gets out of high school and if he is already out get it to him ASAP. The realities of the dating world are harsh and brutal and women will have absolutely no remorse or care for a man who cannot handle himself. Being helpless may have been cute when you were five but its sad and pathetic past puberty. Not knowing this stuff is a liability in today’s world. Sure you could say “it shouldn’t be that way” and “that’s messed up” or whatever but it doesn’t matter how things “should be” the only thing that matters is how they are.

Don’t send your son or yourself out into this world without familiarizing yourself with the concepts laid out in this book. Get him and yourself prepared and go and purchase The Rational Male. And if you want to learn more about Rollo and read more of his insightful essays and thoughts be sure to check out The Rationale Male.

Best Wishes

-Charles Sledge