How Porn Pedestalizes Women

What is a fantasy? A dream if you will? It’s something that is above you and that you are reaching for. For example if you dream about living in a penthouse in Vegas it means it’s something that you haven’t accomplished yet, something is above you, and something that you are going after. That’s what dreams are. But what if someone had dreams of working at a 7-11 or dreamed of one day owning a beaten down Toyota Camry? What would you think of that? Now imagine if this person was already making over six figures a year and owned a much nicer car.

You’d think that they were insane wouldn’t you? Of course you would. Here they are pining after and dreaming about things that they could already have and that are below them. It makes no sense. They should have their sigts set on other higher goals not ones that aren’t worth their time, are meaningless, and are a step down from where they are currently at. You don’t bang Ms. Universe and then go chase after chubby bar rats. It just wouldn’t make sense. You are supposed to go higher.

The Dream Effect

I’m going to talk about an effect that I’ve seen many males suffer from and that is detrimental to their growth. I’m sure there is some psychological term for it but I am not aware of it so I’m going to call it the dream effect and it’s very important for understanding the rest of this article. Alright so the dream effect is essentially whenever someone gets close to accomplishing their dreams or their desires there is some hesitation. Generally it has to do with an internal conflict where their old schema and way of thinking is conflicting with the new.

A prime example is a guy who was a loser and got dumped by a fat chick. Then he went and bettered himself and now he’s back in the game and his high school crush who still has it going on wants him to take her home and pound her brains out. And he’s hesitant. At first glance you’d think “Why the hell is he hesitant this is 100x from where he was” and that’s just the point. His old schema is conflicting with his new. It might get so bad where he even sabotages it himself saying he has to go or has to be up early or something else.

This is one reason why I recommend that guys set their goals ten times what they want so that they’ll soar past where they wanted to go as well as encourage men to ruthlessly limit their limited mindsets and limiting beliefs. For example if it was a guy’s lifelong goal to bench 225 and he gets under it for the first time unless he’s developed his mind he’s probably going to fail just because of the pressure (we’re talking about the average guy here). Whereas if he set his sights on benching 405 when he got to 225 it’d be just another day in the park. Again all of this can be prevented by having a strong mind but most guys don’t have a strong mind.

Fantasy

Alright so here is how this ties into porn and specifically porn pedestalizing women. When you fantasize about something or someone in some way, shape, or form you are usually putting it above you. Many males turn to porn because they think “No way I could get that women in real life” (which is complete bullshit by the way). They put these women on a pedestal and worship them. Fantasizing about them and wasting their valuable seed on pixels of these women. When in reality these women are in no way, shape, or form above you. No woman is. Yet guys are conditioned to think that all women are above them by society (and this applies doubly to good looking women).

But you see everything in porn you could easily get in real life. Whatever your particular fantasy is young co-ed, hot mom, hot teacher, whatever you could get that if you stopped watching porn, stopped pedestalizing porn stars and women, and instead focused on getting out there, developing yourself, and taking action. Stop living in a fantasy world when reality is so much better. And after you’ve done all your fantasies you realize that these women (even if very good looking) are just women and not that special. No longer are they this great big fantasy for you. When you put women/a woman (any woman) on a pedestal it keeps you from getting her.

So when you’re watching your particular fantasy and think “No way that could happen in real life” it keeps you plugged into the fantasy and deepens your dependence on it. Think about this whatever porn you’re watching if you could go out and get the same type of girl in real life would you? Of course you would. But most males have the mistaken perception that they can’t which keeps them tied into porn. If they knew they could porn would lose a huge effect it has on them.

Things To Remember

When I’ve talked to guys about quitting porn but they think they’ll have to settle for a lackluster sex life it makes it one hundred times harder. When they’re taught that they can get the women of their fantasies if they work on themselves suddenly things change. Porn is seen for what it is and the porn stars are knocked off the pedestal. No woman is above you and no woman is “unattainable” a harsh truth that most males never understand is whoever their “dream girl” is has probably slept with someone way worse than them. Most guys dream girls have slept with trash.

You don’t need fantasies because you can have everything in real life that you get from porn. Threesomes, co-eds, hot moms, strippers, teachers, whatever it is you want. You can get. But it’s not going to come from sitting whacking off to pixels on a screen. It’s going to come from becoming the man you were always meant to be. That’s where it’s going to come from. You can get the women that other guys fantasize about and the first step is to disconnect from porn and knock them off the pedestal where they have no business being.

If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.

-Charles Sledge