In business I’m all about outsourcing. Do whatever is the best use of your time. Why mow your lawn when you’re making over one hundred dollars and hour? Why go get coffee? Why wash your car. Time is your most valuable asset and you would be wise to always make the most out of it. Don’t be that guy who makes six figures but will sit there an argue with a company on the phone for forty five minutes to save twenty bucks. You can’t nickel and dime your way to riches anyways.
However with that being said there are many things in life that you have to do yourself. There are things that others cannot do for you and that you must take responsibility for. Especially when it comes to masculinity and being a man. A good part of being a man is taking responsibility for yourself and your life. To take the lead and to take action to get the things that you want in life. There are paths that you must take that can only be walked alone.
Initiation Into Manhood
A great example of this is most tribal’s societies rites of initiation. This not something that can be outsourced, it is not something that a boy’s father, mother, brother, or other tribe member can do for him. He must do it himself. But he does this so he can attain his manhood. He sees what lies on the other side that makes it all worth it. Even if he is scared, even if he’s in pain, he still walks the path alone because he knows it’s part of becoming a man.
The same can be said of you and me. There will be times in our life when no one not even our closest friends or family will be able to help us. There will be battles that we must face on our own with no help. There comes times when it’s just us against the world. And it is these times that will truly try and test us. However without these times of fire we could never become the strongest of steel the is masculinity. Good does not come from easy.
Testing Of Our Mettle
It’s good to have a network of good men that have your back, a tribe so to speak. However that doesn’t mean you can afford to get soft or allow your tribe members to pick up your slack. You must always be striving to become the best that you can possibly be. Constant ascension as I often talk about. All men on this earth bear scars from fights that they had to face alone. Others may have had their back or supported them but it was them who had to enter the cave and fight their way out the other side. It was them who had to face it alone.
However when we come out the other side we are forever changed. There is no shortcut to this fundamental change, it is something we all discover on our own in our own time. Some discover it the hard way others are warned by other so they take matters into their own hands. Some go through this change by one close to them dying, others through the breaking of a marriage, others through losing a child. Everyone comes to that cave from a different direction. But everyone has to pass through it alone.
Independence Before Interdependence
For interdependence to work everyone who is part of it must be independent themselves. And independence is derived from strength. You have to go through the abyss before you can come out the other side stronger. There are demons that we have to face and slay alone. We can talk about the fight and the demon to other men but the actual fight is going to be one on one. Because of this, because you will have to face challenges on your own. You have to make sure that you can stand on your own two feet and meet whatever the world is going to throw at you.
To attain the rank of man you have to be tested by the fire. Man is not something you biologically become like the way a girl biologically matures into a woman. Like I’ve said in my books manhood is earned and many males will go to their graves having never earned it. It cannot be earned by another and given to you. You must go out and earn it yourself. You must slay your demon yourself. All on your own. Stop relying on others for the most important things in life.
Summary
A man must always be prepared to face the next challenge on his own. He must cultivate his strength so that even without anyone else he will still rise and conquer. If you want to be the king then you must go through everything that is required to be a king. There is no outsourcing for masculinity or leadership. Go through the fire you will be better for it and you will have earned your place among the ranks of men.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.
-Charles Sledge
