Charles Sledge

4 Comments

  1. I was forced at an early age to become a man. Had a
    kid at 17 father left ,wasn’ t around. Didn’t finish
    school.

    All I ever read was muscle and fitness or Ironman.

    So when I started to fail I had no one to guide me, so I was
    forced to learn and study on my own, for the sake of my 4
    kids. So I attacked all books on many subjects and now have a massive home library. Reading saved my life!

    The funny thing is, when I go into any book store and go to the
    self help section, I’m the only guy there. I’m the only guy that
    needs help. Everyone else is buying fiction, the way they live
    their life, in a delusion.

    No fat people are ever in the diet and fitness area only thin people. People will NOT help themselves, they think living fat sloppy and stupid are okay!

    • Great comment Johnny. While my story differs from yours learning too saved my life. I learned early on that I was to either become strong or perish, that no one was going to save me.

      A harsh lesson but also the greatest.

  2. It’s been quite a while since I came here.

    Anyway, I really like this article because it hits close to home for me. We men have been disappointed by our parents and our society. Still that doesn’t give us an excuse to complain. We are the makers of our destiny. It’s our responsibility to face whatever problems we are facing in life. Neither society nor parents are help you deal with your problems, at worst following their guidance or advice will make your problems even worse.

    This is especially true when it comes to women and relationships. The last thing that you wanna do to sort out your women related problem, is to ask your society or parents their advice on this matter.
    And I’ll say that I’m facing such problem right now. I’ve mentioned about a girl who had shown an interest in me, who later turned cold turkey towards me. Well, 6 months back, I started talking to her. While having those conversations with her, I noticed that her body language screamed “Get the hell away from me”. I’m well aware of the fact that most women are reserved and it’s the guy who should break the ice.

    I do that a lot with other girls, and most of them are very pleasant to talk to. I don’t have any expectation that any conversations with some beautiful girls would lead to a romance. But that one girl is a very special case. She hardly maintains eye contact while I was chatting with her, keeps her conversations short, and especially she gives off an aura of coldness and unfriendliness.
    I felt quite disrespected for the first time when I started talking with her. So I decided to keep as little contact with her as possible. And what do you know, she went back being even more distant and cold towards me. Whenever I’m nearby her, she behaves as if I’m a total stranger.

    And then I said to myself “fuck this, I don’t wanna waste my time with you”. But here’s where the real problem began. I started to develop an uneasy feeling when I stopped talking with her. This uneasy feeling amplifies even more whenever I see her being happy and going on with her life. I’m having a hard time controlling my disturbing emotions. I try to convince myself “Look you’re not in love with her. Theirs nothing special about her besides her pretty face and figure. And she’s an apathetic woman who won’t even give a damn if you die tomorrow.” Despite this, those emotions still come on the surface.
    I know avoiding her won’t make my problems go away. And I know discussing this with my friends and parents will be futile.
    Only one thing left to do is to focus on investing in myself. But how can I do that if those emotions resurface.

    • While it’s hard to give a complete answer as everyone’s personality is different. I would suggest when those emotions surface that you find something to channel them into.

      This is going to differ from person to person.

      So for example some people when negative emotions surface they hit the gym and work them out. Others write them out. Me I do something that I know will increase my development so I’ll grow to an even stronger level.

      Writing in a journal, weightlifting, fighting, going on walks in nature (if possible), and things of that nature generally work. If it persists then you want to look at what the root cause of the emotions are.

      Here are two articles that can help with that.

      https://charlessledge.com/solve-problems-free-writing/

      https://charlessledge.com/dont-know-answer-problem/

      They should at least help to identify what your next steps need to be.

      Let me know if you have any other questions and if that helps answer your problem.

Comments are closed.