I agree in theory, but in reality there are good reasons to be afraid of expressing emotions. I have personally been backstabbed by a guy whom I opened up to and told that I felt terrible and had suicidal thoughts. This guy called the cops on me and I was forced against my will to spend 2 months at the nuthouse.
Also, try being honest with cops. Don’t know how it is in America, but if you tell a cop to fuck off here in Germany, you will get punished. I have a bill lying around somewhere. I insulted 3 cops who were taking away my computers for a bogus investigation that they had no proof for. What’s the result? The result is a bill over 6000 EUR.
Do I regret those things? I’d say I regret the first one more than the second one. Money lost, I hardly care at the moment. But freedom lost for a more or less significant time with practically no rights whatsoever? That fucked me up pretty badly.
So I’d maybe add: Before expressing yourself, wonder whether the other person can handle it without backstabbing you or using their authority to make your life living hell.
Maybe you have thoughts on this that I haven’t thought of before, though.
Great point Tom. That’s fucked up, what a piece of shit.
Great article and interesting subject.
I think that the most important thing is to be honest with yourself. Sometimes you have to hide your reaction if that can be used against you. Just like when boxer hit another boxer and he is hurt but if he show that, he is done.
On the other hand, if you keep your negative emotions in your body, laying yourself that everything is cool, that can be harmful and it creates self contempt: http://www.rebornmasculinity.com/self-contempt/
I would say that as long as you don’t bullshit yourself, you are good.
I agree in theory, but in reality there are good reasons to be afraid of expressing emotions. I have personally been backstabbed by a guy whom I opened up to and told that I felt terrible and had suicidal thoughts. This guy called the cops on me and I was forced against my will to spend 2 months at the nuthouse.
Also, try being honest with cops. Don’t know how it is in America, but if you tell a cop to fuck off here in Germany, you will get punished. I have a bill lying around somewhere. I insulted 3 cops who were taking away my computers for a bogus investigation that they had no proof for. What’s the result? The result is a bill over 6000 EUR.
Do I regret those things? I’d say I regret the first one more than the second one. Money lost, I hardly care at the moment. But freedom lost for a more or less significant time with practically no rights whatsoever? That fucked me up pretty badly.
So I’d maybe add: Before expressing yourself, wonder whether the other person can handle it without backstabbing you or using their authority to make your life living hell.
Maybe you have thoughts on this that I haven’t thought of before, though.
Great point Tom. That’s fucked up, what a piece of shit.
Great article and interesting subject.
I think that the most important thing is to be honest with yourself. Sometimes you have to hide your reaction if that can be used against you. Just like when boxer hit another boxer and he is hurt but if he show that, he is done.
On the other hand, if you keep your negative emotions in your body, laying yourself that everything is cool, that can be harmful and it creates self contempt: http://www.rebornmasculinity.com/self-contempt/
I would say that as long as you don’t bullshit yourself, you are good.
Agreed