This is a chapter from my book Be A Man, Get The Girl: Testosterone & Success With Women. Enjoy.
Many males think that the holy grail to getting women and living the life that they want (which forever reason for most males starts with getting the women they want, misguided but reality) is getting in good shape. Now there is absolutely no doubt that getting in better shape is going to increase the number of women you attract. However there are plenty who have the body of Greek gods yet bang mediocre women and feel unfulfilled in life. Then there are skinny deadbeats that have to literally push women away from them so many claw at them. So what makes the difference and what’s the correlation here?
Attracting women has a lot more to do then with just being in shape. If you lack that masculine edge all the muscles in the world aren’t going to do you any good. It’s what those muscles are associated with that attracts women. Namely testosterone. However just because someone has bigger muscles then someone else does not mean that they are more masculine than them or even that their testosterone is higher. There is certainly a correlation between muscles and high testosterone but it is not a given. What women are attracted to is masculinity and testosterone which go together like two peas in a pod.
Chasing Ghosts
This is why one guy will see a guy with muscles get all kinds of girls then work frantically to get those muscles thinking that it’ll get him girls as well. Not realizing that is wasn’t the mounds of flesh that attracted women to the man but rather what was behind those mounds of flesh. Namely testosterone and masculinity. Same with the corporate CEO one could have girls throwing themselves at him left and right while another could only have mediocre girls. What makes the difference is the masculinity and testosterone. Women will always be attracted to money, power, fitness, and many other things.
But without the underlying masculinity or testosterone these things ring hollow. Really all of those other things are just a way to screen for masculinity and testosterone. That is what a woman is seeking out and attracted to. Everything else is simply a sign post point her to those two things. Take an out of shape guy, with no money, and little power but if he has masculinity and testosterone he’ll pull more girls than the guy with money, power, and looks but no masculinity or testosterone. Chasing after those other things is like chasing after ghosts, they will not get you what you want. Your masculinity and testosterone is what you should be chasing after.
The Focus
The focus of your life should never be women. Even if all you want is to sleep with a woman or even get a girlfriend they should still never be the focus of your life. Your focus should be your mission, your masculinity, and your testosterone. Take care of these things and all the other stuff is going to fall into place. Don’t become one of those guys that dedicates his life to chasing women for table scraps. Instead focus on yourself and you can have the entire meal brought before you. Males spend much of their time chasing things in order to get women never realizing a couple of key things about life.
First off women are simply something extra to add to your life for some enjoyment. They should never ever be the focus of it. Doesn’t matter if it’s a wife, girl friend, harem, or whatever she/they should never be the focus of your life, ever. Second you waste your time chasing after the things that you think will bring you women. Remember don’t focus on the women instead focus on the things I said above. Your mission, your masculinity, and your testosterone and you’ll get everything else that you are searching for. Keep your focus on these things and you’ll always end up improving and living the life that you want.
Get Off The Hamster Wheel
Instead of running around in circles faster and faster yet getting nowhere step off of the wheel and get into life. Stop chasing all these things that you don’t need and instead focus on the most important thing in your life, you. Remember a great body, money, power, and everything else won’t get you women in and of themselves (at least not that top tier ones that we all want). Likewise getting women whether it’s the best wife in the world or a harem of the most gorgeous freakiest women in the world won’t bring you happiness or fulfillment either. Only by fulfilling your mission, your masculinity, and your testosterone can bring you this.
Regardless of what you want. A fulfilling happy life or a life filled with gorgeous women or both then your focus should be on the same things. Your mission, masculinity, and testosterone. Instead of running around in the hamster wheels of work, seduction, gym, or anything else. You will instead move out in the real world and explore, discover, and live life how it was meant to be lived. You will be doing things for yourself instead of for others. You will truly and completely be a free man because you will have only yourself to focus on.
Summary
The money chaser will never be free, nor will the seducer who lives off the approval of women (despite real men having more women if they choose), the power chaser will always seek more status and base his life on the perception of others. All slaves of varying degrees and orders yet at the end of the day all still slaves. Only the man pursuing his mission and masculinity above all else is truly free and will truly be fulfilled. Not to mention he will also get all that the slaves are seeking in addition to freedom and living the life that he wants. Masculinity is the source do not forget this.
Be a man and everything else falls into place. Focus on yourself as a man and always put yourself first. Your mission will bring you fulfillment and freedom. Money, women, status, power, are all things to sidetrack you. Don’t get me wrong they are all important and all play a part in your life. Especially money and power are particularly important. But with your mission and masculinity as the center point of your life money and power will come to you much easier than pursuing those things on your own.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.
-Charles Sledge
‘If you build it, they will come.’
Pretty much.