The Fear Of Being Too Big (Forever Alpha Blog)

The Fear Of Being Too Big (Forever Alpha Blog) by Charles Sledge

This is a guest post from Alex Clewlow of the Forever Alpha Blog. A blog all about getting in shape and improving yourself as a man. In today’s article Alex is going to talk about why you should never worry about getting “too big” and how being scared of this myth holds many men back in the weight room. Enjoy.

One of the funniest recent trends I’ve noticed is relative newcomers on TRP, and especially MGTOW’s, claiming that they “Don’t want to get too big”.

Every time I’m thinking “Oh boy, here we go again”.

Their post will be something along the lines of: “I don’t want to get too big!!! Otherwise I’ll end up in a wheelchair like Ronnie Coleman OMG OMG OMG!!!” like a hysterical little girl. Then they will continue on their rant about how anyone who lifts weights for size is a pussy who will only end up damaging their health.

Obviously this is wrong on many levels, so I’m not going to delve into that. What I will say is that we need to read between the lines here, and see what’s really going on in between the guys’ ears.

My goal here is to prevent anyone else from slipping into his mindset, as it’s a very dangerous one, and one that is becoming more and more common.

He continues to give his personal statistics. This is where we can really see what’s going on. “Blah blah blah blah blah………..I’m 155 pounds and have been lifting for six months.”

Huh? What? What is a 155 pound guy doing on here comp……….

Ahhhhh.  I see what’s going on here.

So, he’s been lifting for six months. He weighs fuck all. He compares himself to Ronnie (!), and accuses anyone bigger than him of being a pussy.

It’s clear to me that he has realised that weight training (believe it or not), isn’t a walk in the park (SHOCK!), and it’s actually quite hard. Well, no shit.

He compares himself to a drug-guzzling freak, who weighs over twice his own bodyweight as a rationalisation as to why one should NOT LIFT WEIGHTS. EVER. In fact, if you do, you’re a pussy who only does it for women, apparently. You’re far better off with a Spider-Man-like physique, apparently.

Can you see the insanity of this comparison?

This is like me making my first chunk of money and then saying “I don’t want to get too rich because I’ll end up a selfish, evil billionaire and everyone will hate me.” Then claiming that anyone who makes over six-figures is “greedy and immoral”. Or something.

This is rationalising laziness. Don’t be like that.

Guys, if you want to end up in a wheelchair from being “Too big”, you need to lift a little longer than six months. More like ten years. Then another five years with at least one gram of testosterone per week, with some tren and a couple of powerful, liver-destroying orals. Then another five years with dangerously high doses of HGH and insulin.

Oh, and I almost forgot. You need outrageously good genetics. You clearly haven’t, otherwise you wouldn’t be rationalising your laziness – you’d be addicted to the incremental increases in muscle and masculinity.

Until then, keep lifting. You fool.

Seriously though, don’t listen to MGTOW’s. They are growing in numbers, and it’s a little concerning. I’m talking about the proper MGTOW’s who are completely withdrawing from both women AND in this case, lifting also. Read around their forums and you’ll notice most are depressed. The rest soon will be. Not a good life path. Women and lifting are both awesome.

The Herd Mentality

I like to call this whole laziness justification the “Herd Mentality”. It keeps people under control. Keeps them in line. It prevents men from rising up and achieving great things, if men let it. The herd mentality is a powerful force to be reckoned with, particularly in any new masculine endeavour you are undertaking, but simple awareness of its potential power is half the battle. Shaming language is a direct application of this mentality.

It’s emotionally difficult to deal with, as quite often it can come from people who are very close to you, and of course you want them to be happy.

What’s more?

The Herd Mentality has grown in strength since 3rd Wave Feminism, with women playing a larger role in this. Most men have always had this Herd Mentality to some degree, and have opposed other men from overtaking them in some way, possibly (in evolution terms) to preserve the integrity of the tribe. To be honest, I don’t have the answers, but I do know it’s real.

The difference is now women have become more vocal. Your girlfriend, her Mother & your Mother will all try this. Don’t listen to them, as you’ll soon discover you can’t win. Whatever you do, what people really want is for you to “stay the same”. Don’t do that. The above guy is an example of someone who caved in to this, then used Ronnie as a rationalisation (with terrible logic).

It’s a dangerous trap; one you’d be wise to avoid:

“Don’t get any bigger. It’s not attractive. It’s not a good look.” Whilst she’s simultaneously having sex with muscular hunks…(like me ;))

“Hunny, don’t lose weight. You’re a 40 year old man. Diets are for girls.” Whilst she fantasizes about the Abercrombie model. Uh-huh.

So I’m not allowed to gain muscle? Or lose fat? Interestiiiiing.

BTW, if you are in fact an older guy, one of the best things you could possibly do RIGHT NOW, is to lose some fat. Getting leaner will improve your attractiveness, health and masculinity simultaneously. It’s a critical component of happiness, particularly as you age.

What You Should Do

Honestly? Take anything to an absolute extreme (such as Ronnie Coleman), and you end up damaging yourself, your freedom and ultimately, your happiness.

If you’re constantly dieting and trying to get to 3.75% body fat then there’s a VERY high chance you will develop an eating disorder at some point, again, taking things to the extremes.

At the same time, laziness, complacency and a complete lack of progress is equally terrible. This doesn’t apply to you if you’re already near your genetic limit, earning six-figures and have a quality harem. Most people reading this aren’t there yet. Neither am I, at least in terms of money.

I can tell you though, that in terms of muscle, keep fucking lifting. NEVER let other people bring you down to their level. It takes years to realise your potential. Many years.

The Herd Mentality continues to grow with the long-term political trend towards Socialism, and all it does is lower people to the lowest common denominator. It’s not in your best interests – remember, you’re shooting for the top 20% of men in the three key areas. Most people are NOT GOING TO HELP YOU GET THERE!!

People who do help you – keep them around.

This also applies nicely to dieting. Once you hit a certain level of muscularity, you will in fact look better in the single digit body fat range. I’ve said for years that men look their best once they have gained 25+ pounds of muscle, and have dieted down (AFTERWARDS!!) into the single digit body fat levels.

The reason why you must do this after is because you won’t actually gain anything down there. You’ve gotta gain weight to gain muscle. Growth comes first, maintenance (and shredding) second.

Another tip: Don’t make the mistake I did, and do the “Summer Cut” every single year. You’re sacrificing about a third of your potential growth doing this every year (assuming you take about 4 months to get shredded). Skip it for a few years and you’ll reach your potential much sooner – you’ll thank me later ☺


Continue sprinting towards your health and fitness goals regardless of what other people say. Eventually, they give up trying to stop you anyway. But until then, it’s your willpower vs theirs.

Make sure you avoid acting like the MGTOW above. Make sure you emerge as the winner.

Enjoyed the post? Wish to write one of your own? Check out the form here and let me know. I’m always looking to promote good sites to my readers.

Charles Sledge

  • steve

    This is a great post, and to other guys reading this: most men won’t be able to get really big/huge even if they try….take it from me who has been working out for 10 years now and still haven’t been able to get as big as I want despite lifting as heavy as possible and eating 4-5,000 calories.

    Also, 1 of the unspoken truths about bodybuilding is that the majority of it comes down to having great genetics and the right body type/structure. I know it can be frustrating to hear that but its the absolute truth, but that shouldn’t discourage us men out there from trying at all. Have fun with lifting and take pride in yourself.

    • Thank you. Exactly – it takes a long time, and really, it’s all about the incremental improvements to yourself that you learn to appreciate. Comparing yourself to monsters is just ridiculous.

    • Jak

      That’s the exact point I was going to make. You’re not going to start hitting the gym and then one day wake up, look into the mirror, and find yourself the size of the Incredible Hulk. Building muscle is an incredibly slow process and when you reach the size you want to be, just stop increasing the weights/reps.

      • And even then as you age you’ll have to hit bigger weights or work harder just to keep what you have.