It’s always important to know how to get someone to like you. It doesn’t matter if it is for Machiavellian purposes or simply because it is how you truly feel. There are times when you will need something from others and need them to come around to you and like you. It could be a boss who you need for a promotion, a acquaintance whose services you need, or just a true friend who you want to express true friendship too. It doesn’t matter what your end goal or intentions are the skills are essentially the same.
Rapport has been talked about in the over complicated “seduction” field but what I’m talking about here goes far beyond that. Sure rapport plays a small part in sleeping with some chick but there are things that are far more important. However in the realm of friendship and business rapport is a very important concept and one that can spell success or failure. Rapport is essentially that good feeling you get when you “click” or “connect” with another person. This is a bit of an oversimplified definition but it paints a broad enough picture to be usable here. So without further ado here is how to establish rapport with anyone.
Method One – Show A Genuine Interest In Others
This can be faked, but for real relationships it doesn’t have to be. Show that you give a shit about the other person. Ask how they are and how they are doing while making eye contact with them. Go out of your way to show that you care about them in some way. Go deeper then that “how is the weather/wife/kids” B.S. and strike at the heart of the person. Ask them if they are doing okay and if everything is alright. Etc. Again this can be faked but it doesn’t have to be.
It’s pretty simple really. Show others you have a genuine concern for them. They may not believe you at first but if you are earnest and stay strong they will come around and appreciate you even more for it. For pure Machiavellian purposes this is probably the least effective method as it can get tiring to hold up the facade for someone you just want something from. However for genuine relationships this can work wonders.
Method Two – Smile
This is a key of seduction as well. No matter what smiling at someone is pretty much going to work in your favor. Unless it’s at an angry guy in a bar smiling at someone is generally always a good idea. Doesn’t matter if you want to be their best friend, make your boss like you, or bang a girl. Smiling is going to help you get to your intended goal. Smiling at others also shows that you are in a good mood and feeling positive emotions and everyone is attracted to positive emotions.
Not to mention smiling has been proven to put yourself in a good mood as well. Smiling, especially when you first see someone is a great way to build rapport between the two of you. We always smile when we see someone we like and smiling triggers a smile in the other person. It’s a win win. Practice smiling throughout your day. It may seem weird at first but eventually will become a habit.
Method Three – Say Someone’s Name
Simple but effective as Dale Carnegie say’s in his great book How To Win Friends & Influence People (and the source for this article)
“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”
People naturally respond to those who remember their names and make an effort to say them. Think of the difference between saying “Hey what’s up” and “Hey what’s up James”. Now if you’re name isn’t James it isn’t going to matter to you but do the first then change the second out with your name and notice the difference.
People love hearing their names especially when associated with good things. For example praise “You did a real good job on that report Mason” as opposed to “Good job on the report”.
Method Four – Focus On The Other Person
This is key in copywriting as well. You have to focus on the other person. Not what you’re wants and desires are but rather what the wants and desires of the other person are. Focus on the other person and listen to them and what they have to say. People are dying for someone to just shut up so they can “unload” on them. This doesn’t mean to become someone’s dumping ground for negativity rather to listen to them and their issues and just empathize with them.
That’s all most people want a little empathy from those around them. Just nod your head and say “I understand” it doesn’t matter if you have no idea what they hell your boss is talking about just saying the words has the intended effect. Being a good listener is actually a very important skill not just for genuine relationships but for acquiring information and making other people feel good (a very important skill).
Method Five – Make The Other Person Feel Important
If you know how to make someone feel important you have them eating out of your hand in no time. Or on the other side having a great and rewarding relationship with them in no time. Everyone wants to feel important from the richest CEO to the bum on the side of the street. The bitchy Feminist woman and the dedicated housewife. All want to feel important and are going to love the man who can make them feel so. This is one of the reasons saying someone’s name has such an effect.
Another way to make someone feel important is to tell them they are right. Validating someone can make them feel extremely important. Just by agreeing with what they have said (even if you didn’t listen to a single word) is a great way to make someone feel important, respected, and listened too. Women frequently complain about this but men are just as much suckers for someone who can make them feel important.
So whether you have pure intentions or sinister ones. Whether you want to claw your way to the top or become close friends with someone these are skills you will have to develop. Learn them and always have them at the ready when you see a chance for advancement or see someone who is worth having by your side or at your back.
If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it.