This is a weekly column by Stefan Simonovic. Stefan runs multiple dating sites and writes about dating for men. In this article Stefan talks about why being in a sexless marriage just isn’t worth it.
Marriage can be an awesome thing, especially if you have the right partner who understands you and has a similar outlook on life and has similar needs as you. That range from how important money and career are, or how much you think you should travel, and what you should eat. These are all important things, but one of the most key aspects of a healthy marriage is not just a meeting of the minds but a meeting of the bodies.
Sex is an important part of marriage, just as it was when you were dating and when you first fell in love and decided to get engaged and married. That woman you met and felt compelled to marry was most likely a woman who made you feel good sexually. And vice versa. What man doesn’t like knowing that he has satisfied his woman in bed and that she always comes back for more? And the onus of sex always get put on a man as if it’s our appetite that drives the sex in a relationship, but it’s not true. There are more than enough women around who push the agenda in the bedroom, and that’s fine, as long as there is that sexual element in the relationship so you can keep connected romantically, physically and sexually. It’s the glue that keeps a marriage together.
What happens when the sex disappears?
No matter what the reason whether it’s debt, stress, loss of job, or even problems with renos or the inlaws, every couple has trouble and problems in their marriage that comes from the outside. External stress can really change a marriage and how you interact with each other, usually it’s temporary and at one point you can go back to normal. All these reasons can be the cause for a low sex drive, in you or your woman.
But what when for no reason at all, the sex dries up. You begin to feel you are always making the first move. She is never in the mood, and forget about foreplay, she doesn’t even want to kiss. If 6-12 months go by with no obvious reason as to why she won’t have sex with you, and you know you haven’t cheated or committed some heinous crime, then it’s clear, a sexless marriage is not about to flower and bloom again into the sexy lustful relationship you once had or wish you had. It’s probably going to continue to go downhill from here. Just look at celebrity snapchats and even the rich and famous have these problems
Low sex drive
If you don’t have kids, then you probably won’t get the chance to have any unless you count on some drunken night, which is an aberration and you actually get laid. When your needs aren’t met, but also hers, because most people need sex to feel good, the marriage has deeper problems that ‘talking it out’ simply won’t help.
You can’t make someone want you. And if she doesn’t want to have sex with you anymore, she probably won’t wake up one day crazy about you again. It’s better to admit that sometimes chemistry fizzles out, and even if you are in a marriage, it;ll never be a good one if it’s 100% sexless. So it’s better to end it, before you lose more time and lose your sex drive yourself.
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