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Don’t Rush Into Things

Don't Rush Into Things by Charles Sledge

We are all given a limited amount of time on this earth. While we can certainly modify how much time we spend here and the quality of it, still time is an asset that is non-renewable. So it should be treated as such. As a man in general you’re life is going to better off single, again in general. There comes a time when you will want more out of life but a man does not have an advantage to committing like a woman does. Remember men are the gatekeepers to commitment and women are the gatekeepers for sex.

You wouldn’t think much of a woman who open her gate for every swinging dick that came by and women think the same of a male who is eager to commit. There is not nearly as many advantages (if any) for a male to commit to a female as vice versa. So a male who is looking for a commitment above all else and is rushing towards it is seen as not having options and as a desperate loser. What I’m getting at here is that even if you are a marriage minded man don’t go rushing off looking for a woman to marry.

As a man time is on your side (unlike women who time is very cruel to). Even if for religious or moral reasons you are looking to get married it’s something that you should never rush into. You need life experience and many other things before going into marriage. That is why most good healthy marriages occur between a guy who is much older than the woman. Because that is how things naturally balance out. For example a guy who is 35-40 marrying a woman who is 18-21. Why uncommon in our society these kind of relations are healthy.

Take Your Time

As a man you should never rush into a commitment of any kind with a woman. As I said before time is on your side. If you’re not a marriage minded man this is no problem. But for those of you who are for whatever reason you still need to understand that you should never rush into a long term commitment with a woman. Even if you can have multiple wives you still need to take your time screening and vetting each one. Never give out your commitment freely and without charge. There needs to be steep stipulations and vetting going on before you’ll give out the littlest of your commitment.

Society will try to pressure you into commitment and marriage, and commitment and marriage to women who are worthy of neither. Society would push you to marry to bottom barrel of women (generally women your own age or even more unnatural and weird women older then you) instead of the women that are worth marrying. Ignore society they do not have your best interests at heart and expect you to sacrifice yourself and let yourself be used and walked on simply because you are male. You have to stand strong against the tide of society.

How Much Time?

Even after you’ve vetted a woman and she fits the criteria of a woman worth marrying (and is young and fertile). Then you still need to take your time dating her. Only a desperate man commits quickly or early. And no woman (or man) has respect for a desperate male. Even after all of the hoops that a woman must jump through to meet the criteria for your commitment that doesn’t mean it’s time for marriage. Usually it’s wise to wait at least a year or two before marrying.

Date in this time but don’t put that ring on her finger. This allows you to see all sides of her and see if she really is who you think she is. Also this allows you to see her quirks and if anything annoys you or is a deal breaker. These aren’t things that can be determined in a couple month’s time. And it’s better waiting a bit before committing instead of finding these things out down the road and then having to deal with them. Repeat it to yourself is you have too but always remember that as a man time is on your side and commitment is always an advantage for the woman. So never rush into it.

Your Focus

Now you might be thinking “Alright but in the mean time what should my focus be?” you’re focus as always even when you’re married should be on yourself and your self-development. Sure when you have a family you’ll also watch out for and protect them as well but you’ll still always be developing yourself and strengthening yourself. This never stops and never ends regardless of who you are. Doesn’t matter if you’re a man who wants a huge family and a wife or a playboy who wants to sleep with a different woman every night or a monk who wants to develop himself completely away from women.

You still need to work on yourself day in and day out. This applies when you’re in a relationship as well, it always applies. You also need to find a woman who is going to respect this as a woman who tries to drag you away from your self development is going to be an annoyance and not something you want. Regardless never rush in and vet all the way through. For example if you’ve already engaged her and find out she doesn’t like kids or has an aversion to them (very unnatural and a huge red flag) then it’s going to be a lot harder getting rid of her then if you were just dating.

Summary

Always keep a couple of things in mind. First off as a man your value only goes up as you age. Second it is never to your advantage to commit (although you may to get a children and family, just understand marriage is always to the woman’s advantage). And that most women are not worth marrying or committing too. Don’t waste your valuable time with a woman who is not worth it. Vet all the way through. Watch her and see who she is before even dating and then when dating keep vetting her. It may sound like a lot of work but it beats the hell out of ending up with a woman who you should have never committed to in the first place. No matter what don’t rush into things.

If you have any questions you would like to see answered in a future post send them to me at charlessledge001 (at) gmail (dot) com. If you found value in this post then I would encourage you to share this site with someone who may need it as well as check out my books here. I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here.

-Charles Sledge

Charles Sledge